While lying in a truck full of garbage, the author's new fascination Deadpool said, 'When life ends up breathtakingly fucked, you can generally trace it back to one big, bad decision you made –the one which sent you down the road to Shitsburgh.' The dude couldn't have been more exact.
Funny how these fictional characters say the most accurate shit about life.
That is exactly what had happened. One big, bad decision and Lucy ended up in Shitsburgh. Well she was about to. Close enough.
'A literal heart of darkness' isn't that how the dude from Interstellar described the blackhole?
That's what it was. A literal heart of darkness. No seriously, it was dark and hushed voices floated in the air. Sounds of shoes clicking against the wooden floor, people moving and buzzing sound of people whispering, papers being flipped and the sound of heart beating insanely against the ribs.
LUBB. DUBB. LUBB. DUBB
And the black hole? It was definitely starting to form in the stomach of the distressed blonde.
'You'll be perfect for this Luce' the universally accepted idiot had said. And after the combined efforts of Levy's magical persuasive powers, Erza's not-so-subtle murderous glare (working effectively so far on everyone) and the idiot's (almost gorgeous, NOTE: almost) smile, she had agreed, thereby joining the club of Universally Accepted Idiots as well. And now she was celebrating her decision by waiting for HIGHLY UNSTABLE SHIT to hit the fan while muttering incoherent stuff. Of course there were many Damn you and Fuck you-s in the mix, more specifically directed towards the universally accepted idiot. (Never underestimate the ability of a high school girl being foul-mouthed. She could be mentally cursing your entire family while smiling )
Can anyone do her a favour and tell her where to find a book which can help her ward off the effects of sorcery and men which kept messing with her head? The girl needs it.
Shit! Oh Shit! This is just disaster waiting to happen!
She peeked from behind a large wing and then she saw it. The hall was teeming with homo sapiens.
People. People. And what was that? MORE PEOPLE!
Yep. Shit was just waiting to hit the fan.
Myriads of embarrassing situations which could take place in the next ten minutes flashed through her mind. She'll trip. She'll walk on that stage and she'll friggin' fall flat on her useless butt or worse her face. Like they fall in those anime series and their bodies get twisted and they look like orangutans doing yoga.
Or she'll stammer. Holy Mother Hubbard! She'll be a blubbering mess!
She'll forget! And she'll freeze right there. Then they'll pick her statue up and stow it away all the while she is stuttering incoherent words like they do in anime series.( Fucking Hell Lucy! You need to stop watching weird genres!)
She could sneeze! Or HICCUPS! She was getting hiccups the other day! What if it returns! And shit! Everybody will be looking at her! EVERY FREAKING HUMAN! and Romeo! (That kid should NOT be considered human for the benefit of mankind)
OH GOD! She'll be a freaking mess! She was a freaking mess. Her breathing got a little rapid. She could've died any moment then. Her fists were clenching and unclenching and what was that funny feeling in her legs? Like million bubbles squishing and racing beneath her skin. Shudders rippled through her body from head to toe with her heart bumping against her rib cage like a fluffy bunny jumping to get out. What the fuck was wrong with her?
Fidgeting a little, she tugged on her dress and was reminded of another problem. THE DRESS!
She was such a klutz and unlucky enough as it is. If people were lucky tonight, Lucy might end up becoming Gray II. If you know what I mean. Blimey!
Calm down Lucy. You're fretting over nothing. This is nothing… Hey! All the world's a stage after all! Does that even make any sense?
Then what's backstage?
Oh right! Fucking Shitsburgh! That was what backstage of Tenrou Auditorium was.
Lucy frowned when she saw the curtains were drawn open and the audience were looking at the empty stage. The smooth floor reflected the brilliant stage lights. The hanging mics hung barely four foot above the floor. She had to tell Mirajane to look after that and get the mics up. What were the chances of Lucy bumping into one of those hanging microphones and getting strangled by the long cords that ran all the way up to the ceiling?
Lucy's stomach churned like a mixer full of ice cubes and one of her mother's experiments (Ever wondered what kind of flavor would explode in your mouth when delicacies tasting like Kleenex and Vim Bar were served to you? No? Well you're invited to the Heartfillia household for dinner next time)
I swear if I make it out alive…. I'll write a fucking book on this!
'I can't do this.' She breathed to no one in particular as she stepped back from the large maroon wing of the stage. Her inner self was chanting those words repeatedly like a mantra. Ican'tdothisIcan'tdothisIcan'tdothisHolyMavisHELPME!
What does Biology call this situation? Oh yeah, Fight or Flight.
Fight?
Flight?
To run? or not to run? That was the question.
Deciding in a matter of nano-seconds, the blonde swiftly turned on her heels to escape and –Bam!
'Woah. Seriously, can you just spend one day without being this clumsy?'
'Shut up Natsu'
'What happened? '
'Nothing.'
Sweat trickled down her neck. She wasn't panicking right?
It was all because of the ridiculously stuffy and humid backstage right?
Ugh. Who was she kidding... She was probably as white as Macbeth when he saw Banquo's ghost. It was written all over her face.
Natsu lifted himself on his toes and peered over to catch a glimpse of audience sitting in the auditorium. A low whistle nearly left his lips when he saw multitudes of people that had shown up. He regained his position and stared down at Lucy, a playful smirk dancing on his lips. He grabbed her hand, wincing at the contact. The girl was dead cold. He dragged her away from the wings, pulling her towards the green room.
'Hey what are you-'
Her voice trailed off as she saw her palm ensconced within his. He didn't stop walking. He never turned around to listen to what she had to say. Quietly he led her towards the green room where everyone else was.
Guess I'll be writing a book after all.
A/N: Yo!
Who writes the prologue AFTER publishing four chapters of the fic?
I do!
I won't be me if I didn't do such random stuff.
I hope you liked this meaningless prologue.
I apologize for the horrible, horrible grammatical mistakes I surely must've made. Feel free to point them out. Feel free to review, no one is stopping you… that is… if you feel this is review worthy….. hehe…. *stabs herself*
Kthnxbai!
Nat Mur.
