Stella woke up with a sigh, feeling content after reconnecting with Kelly after the trial ended. She reached over to where Kelly should've been, instead finding an empty place. As her eyes adjusted to the light and shifted around the room, she found him sitting at the end of the bed. "Hey, what are you doing? Come back to bed with me" she said, patting the place next to her. He turned around, a clear look of anguish on his face. "I don't know how to do this anymore" he said. Stella felt it coming, the end that had already come once before with him and that had come multiple times before in other relationships. Somehow though, this stung more than any other burn she's experienced. "Do what?" she finally asked after a few moments of tortured silence.
"Keep the truth from you. After the trial, Renee kissed me. I pulled away, it meant nothing to me. Please, baby, you have to believe me". He could see the look of sadness in her eyes, but worst of all was how he knew he broke her trust after she gave it to him when he didn't deserve it. Angry tears begin to roll down her cheeks that she quickly swiped away and she got out of bed and begin to move around the apartment. "Stella, please, where are you going? Stay and talk to me" "I knew I couldn't trust her. I can't even blame you, I was the one who told you to do the trial. I just can't look at you anymore because all I see is her". She started throwing things in a duffle bag, all while he sat there looking on helplessly. "Baby please, where are you going? This is your apartment, I should be the one to leave". She looked at him, anger clear in her face. "I can't do this Kelly! Is this going anywhere for you? Because before the trial started I never would've doubted us, but now Renee just put cracks in our relationship and I don't know if we can fix them".
She stopped as the tears started coming more heavily, needing a moment to compose herself. All Kelly could do was stand by helplessly, trying to find the right words to say. "Kelly, stay here or go home, I don't really care, but I'm going to stay with Dawson and Casey because now I can't even be in my own apartment without thinking of how you hurt me". She turned towards the door, pulling out her phone to call Dawson. "Stella, please stay. I love you. I realized it when you were in the house with the bullets flying and I didn't know if you were safe, but I'm sure I loved you way before that. So now I'm asking, no begging you, to stay with me".
His words and the emotion she could
hear in his voice caused Stella to stop in her tracks, dropping her phone as she was
overcome with the feeling that she couldn't leave him even if her life depended on it. Kelly walked up to her slowly, seeing that for now she wasn't running. He put his hand on her shoulder, feeling her shake beneath his touch. "Please Stella, don't run", he said with a cracking voice. She turned around, tears running non stop down her cheeks, the sight of Kelly with tears in his eyes not helping her to control her emotions. He brought a shaky hand to her cheek, which was all it took for her to fall apart. Kelly brought his arms around her, but she wasn't ready to give in just yet. She struggled against him, but his strong hold combined with the powerful sobs now taking over proved too much for her to fight against.
"I'm so mad at you, but I love you. I love you even when I'm mad at you". His trailed kisses down her face while leading her to the couch. He guided her to sitting down and sat down next to her. As much as she was hurt, she couldn't stand to stay away from him for a second longer and collapsed against him with her face buried in his neck. He kept a strong grip on her, willing to hold her for the rest of his life if he could. "I don't know what to think right now", she said while trailing off, unable to finish her train of thought. "Stella, I know I don't deserve anything from you but please trust me. I would never want to hurt you". She looked up at him, her red rimmed eyes and trail of tears on her face breaking his heart. He gently wiped away the remaining tears, and left his hand to rest in her curly hair. "Kelly, I love you, maybe more than I've loved anyone else. It's not fair of me to take this away from both of us when I know that what we have is real. Just please don't leave me tonight", she said with her voice cracking.
He felt as though every piece of his heart was held by her in that moment. "Stella, I promise that I'm not going anywhere. I know my past doesn't paint a good picture, but I'm not the same person I once was. I don't know a lot of things, but what I know without a doubt in my mind that I love you". She was too emotionally exhausted to respond, and all she could do at this point was simply drop her head on his chest and tightly grip his shirt, wishing to anyone that would listen that she would never have to let go. He adjusted their position so they were laying on the couch now, their legs tangled together and her head coming to rest right below his chin. He tightened his arms around her and moved his arm up and down her back, sighing a breath of relief. She could feel more tears burning her eyes, and tried but failed to keep Kelly from noticing as a sob managed to escape. "Stella, please, talk to me. What else is it? What can I do to reassure you?" She shook her head and tried to sink further into him, unable to express how she was feeling at that moment. He tipped her chin up, needing to look into her eyes. "Baby, please, talk to me", he pleaded once again. "You've done everything right Kelly. It's just that everything I've kept inside over the last few weeks is coming out and I don't think I could stop it if I tried". He didn't say anything, just gave her a reassuring squeeze and continued to run his hand up and down her back and through her hair as a way to give her the comfort and support she needed. "I'm here, Stella. I'm here".
30 minutes later, and Kelly was sure that Stella had fallen asleep due to her steady breathing but her voice softly calling his name proved him wrong. "What is it, Stella? I'm right here". She sighed, lifting her head up and reaching up with her hands to touch his face. "I don't think I'm ready to move back in with you. I don't want us to rush, but I think we need more time together outside of work. I love that we work together, but it's not enough for me". She barely finished her sentence before he was kissing her in the way that made her feel a warmth inside of her that she didn't even think being in a burning building could make her feel. "I agree that it's not enough. We both need to make more of an effort. I would spend every second with you if it was possible. Just say the word, I'm all yours anytime you want me". She abruptly got up, and walked to her closet and begin rifling through it. Before he could question what she was doing, she turned around to face him. "You still owe me a date if I remember correctly. So I'm picking an outfit, then you're driving back to your apartment and I'm going to get ready in my old room and you're going to get ready in your room like we still live together and then we're going out". He got up and walked to meet her, leaning in "I like the way you think. Don't let me see your panties, because we're finishing the game that we were so rudely interrupted during the other night". With that, he walked and sat back down on the couch while she stood momentarily frozen until she finished throwing everything she would need to get ready into her bag. "You ready?" she asked him. He stood, reaching one hand forward to grab her bag from her and the other to bring her hand to his. "With you? Always?"
