Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy.
Ch. 1 Why did he leave me?
More than a year has passed since I last saw Dimitri. He left me to be with Tasha. After the cabin, and the Strigoi attack and rescue mission, I thought we'd be able to work everything out and be together. Everything between us turned out to be a lie. Why did I let myself believe every single damn word he said?
Flashback
"Let's take a walk, Roza," Dimitri whispered to me after we returned from the rescue mission and saved most of the captives from the Strigoi.
I looked around. It was now "sunrise," but most of the people on campus would be doing other things. Besides, most of the guardians were doing clean up and asking people questions so that would keep them occupied for awhile.
"Let's go," I happily agreed, taking his hand as we walked to the edge of the Academy's grounds. I hoped we were going to talk more about our future…and maybe about what had happened in the cabin a little more. I smiled to myself, thinking about the cabin. It had been one of the most amazing nights – if not the most amazing night – of my life.
He stopped close to the weird-shaped pond we'd been at earlier, and turned to me. I was surprised to see there was sorrow and regret in his eyes. My heart twisted, and my happiness level dropped. What was going on? Why was he looking at me like that, like he was going to tell me bad news?
"Roza…I'm leaving."
"Leaving…What? Why?" I demanded, staring up at him in shock. "Do you mean…you're leaving the Academy?" This couldn't be happening. Why? What was he talking about?
"I'm not just leaving the Academy…I'm leaving…you, essentially."
"Why…why are you leaving me?" I asked, a storm of emotions flooding my heart. "You can't just leave me!"
"Rose, after the Strigoi attack…I realized we can't be together. We're both supposed to be Vasilisa's guardians when she graduates. If we carry on having a relationship, we're leaving Vasilisa at risk if we care more about each other than her."
"Don't leave me!" I begged, as a tear fell down my cheek. I didn't bother lifting my hand to wipe it away as I faced Dimitri. "Please. Don't leave me."
"I'm sorry," Dimitri whispered, his voice soft and laced with regret. "I…I'm going to take Tasha's offer."
"NO!" I shrieked, sinking to the ground. My heart felt like it was breaking into a million little pieces. It was horrible enough that he was leaving me…but he was leaving me to be with Tasha, of all people? Fury and jealousy filled me, almost making me forget about how my heart was breaking, but not quite. "How could you do this to me, Dimitri? I thought you loved me!"
Dimitri's voice was shaking as he knelt beside me and spoke. "It's what's best for me. And for Vasilisa. She'll then have two guardians perfectly dedicated to her."
"But last winter…you said you loved me." My voice trembled as I spoke, and I hated how I was betraying my true emotions. I didn't want Dimitri to see how I was feeling and feel sorry for me. I looked down, refusing to look into his dark eyes. "You said that's why you didn't take Tasha's offer. Why are you choosing now to take her offer?"
"I told you…I realized my priorities."
My voice was cold as I spoke, hiding all of my feelings. "So last night…it was just sex? You were just using me this whole time?"
"Roza, please don't say that. I'll always-"
"Fuck you, Dimitri. If that's what you want, fine. I hope you're happy with Tasha. I don't want to ever see you or hear from you again." And I walked away from the love of my life without looking back.
End of flashback
Of course, I cried for hours afterwards. No one really paid much attention following the losses and devastation of the Strigoi attack…except for Lissa and Christian. I wouldn't tell them why I was crying so hard. I didn't want to tell anyone that he'd left (not that anyone knew about us to begin with). Dimitri left immediately after our "talk" and I never saw him again.
Lissa didn't push for me to tell her why I was so upset, because she knew I would tell her, but she deeply suspected that it was related to him. A week after the attack, I broke down in tears and confessed some of it. Dimitri and I had been in love…but he'd used me and left me for Tasha.
"That's terrible, Rose. I'm so sorry," Lissa whispered, her green eyes brimming with sorrow and sympathy for me. I could feel it through the bond. She also felt anger at Dimitri for doing this to me. It wasn't a spirit-induced anger, so I couldn't do anything about that…not that I could if I was able to anyway. How could he just leave Rose like that? she wondered.
Christian stood by her side, looking uncomfortable and not being snarky for once. Tasha was his aunt, the one who'd taken care of him after his parents were killed by guardians. It would be awkward for him, since Tasha was his aunt, but I was also (sort of) his friend.
"Rose…" he said, but trailed off, not knowing what to say.
I gave him a sad smile, pretending that everything was okay. "It's okay, Christian. It's not your fault, or hers. It's his fault for choosing her."
Christian still visits her because they're family, but he's often reluctant to go. He never gave away how he and Tasha were doing, and I never bothered to ask. It was probably better this way, not knowing. He wasn't a part of my life anymore, so I shouldn't care what was going on with him. Lissa stood by my side, and wouldn't go to Tasha's.
I never got a new mentor to train me after he left, which was fine with me. Compared to him, they'd probably be second-rate guardians. He was – is – one of the most badass guardians around, and one of the standards I held myself up to, besides my mother. Anyway, now I was good enough to graduate with the rest of my class, compared to when I'd first returned to the Academy. I didn't need anyone to train me now.
After graduation, I got assigned to Lissa, along with a guardian from a school in California. His name was Liam, and he was about six years older than me. Although I didn't really want to date again, I had to admit that he was pretty hot, with auburn hair and very dark eyes. He was very dedicated to his job and was very serious, but he did sometimes playfully flirt with me.
I was first introduced to him when me and my classmates went to Court after graduation to receive our assignments. We hadn't gotten along at first, me being cynical and snarky, and him being quiet and dedicated. I could tell that he wondered why I'd even been assigned to the last Dragomir princess. Eventually, we'd gotten to know each other a little better and started working better together.
Yesterday, Lissa asked me to come to her suite. When I came in, she tried to be delicate about breaking the news.
"Rose…you're not going to be happy about this, but please don't be too mad," she pleaded.
"What is it?" I demanded.
She hesitated, her mind working like crazy. I tried to reach into the bond to figure it out, but she threw up a wall of spirit, blocking me out. I glared at her. "Liss! What's going on?"
Don't be too mad, she pleaded again, looking at me with those big green eyes of hers.
I sighed impatiently. "I'm going to be mad if you don't hurry up and tell me what the fuck is going on!"
"Tasha…invited me and Christian over for the holidays," she said very meekly, looking down at her hands.
"LISSA!" I yelled, outraged. UGH!
I told you not to be mad, she said reproachfully to me through the bond and shaking her head.
"Sorry," I muttered, looking down. "But…seriously? Do we have to go?" I sounded like I was a whining eight year old kid, but I really didn't want to go. I'd have to go with Lissa since she was going, and then I'd have to watch him with her, being disgustingly gooey and acting like lovebirds. And maybe have to hear them getting it on… Ew to the max. Not how I wanted to spend my Christmas – which was basically a repeat of last year. Great.
Lissa winced. "I'm sorry. But it is Christmas, so…I figured, why not? Besides, you don't give a crap about him. You're going to prove that living the single life is fun for you."
I sighed. "Fine. I'm not going to be happy, though."
"I know," Lissa said, hugging me. Her feelings that I could feel through the bond told me she wasn't that much happier about this than me. "I'll make it up to you, I promise. Now start packing. We're leaving in two days, and we'll stay till New Year's."
I smiled at her, and left her suite, promising to start packing as soon as I could.
Once I was out of sight, I slumped down the side of the wall, not caring who saw me. Misery washed over me as I contemplated the weeklong stay at Tasha's.
No matter what I told anyone, deep down inside…I was still hurting over him. The thoughts I usually kept locked up came rushing through me again. Why did he leave me? I wondered for the millionth time.
There was always the obvious answer…that he'd wanted to be with Tasha. Yet, there had to be something more to it-
No. I was done. I wasn't going to think about him anymore. If he'd found it so easy to leave me, then I definitely wasn't going to even think about him.
This Christmas was going to be the worst fucking Christmas ever.
Dundundun...Kind of short but hopefully next chapters will be a little longer :D
