It's been two years. Two years since I last saw you, you and your beautiful smile and your gorgeous eyes. I didn't even get to say goodbye to you. I should've been there, I was supposed to be there but I let my fears get a hold of me and now here I am missing you every single day of my life. I knew that if I went inside that coffee shop you asked me to meet you we'll end things there and then. I knew it was inevitable. We were growing as individuals and soon enough we grew apart from each other. I know it was hard for us; me going to barden and leaving you behind in our town but I did that because of you. Because you told me that you wanted me to be just how you imagined me to be, a writer. We had our dreams, the perfect life; me working with your dad and us having a family then again it was all too good to be true. I miss you britt, and every day I wish I was there to stop you from crossing that road, to stop you from leaving me. Now I'm finishing my studies and this is all for you. Your mom and dad never left me, they're paying for my college and we help each other through the grief, some days I feel like I owe them your life but some days I just feel like their my family too.
"Hi are you beca mitchell?"
I was suddenly interrupted from my daily dose of living in the past momentum by this girl. As I turned to look at her I felt my whole body shiver, as if I've just seem a ghost. She looks like britt. The only difference is she's a redhead but god they look exactly alike.
"uhm yes I am, can I help you?"
"oh hi beca my name is chloe beale, I was texted by the dean to meet you at class..she said you'll be helping me for my first week here at barden. If that's fine with you I mean I can just you know ask him to ask someone else."
"No it's okay, I kinda work for her too and besides she already told me about you and uhm we have the same classes so no biggie, by the way if you don't mind me asking are you related to the dean or something?"
"no, I haven't even seen her to be honest"
"oh okay"
Britt if you're playing some kind of game with me right now, jesus christ
"why'd you ask?"
"nothing, it's uhm nothing, we should get to our seats the professor will be here any minute now"
"yeah sure, can I sit with you?"
"that's kinda part of the package where I'll be guiding you through your week so yeah"
"okay so lead the way grumpy"
The whole class I was stealing glances at her and when I get caught by her she just smiles at me. She has this look in her eyes, she looks sad but at the same time she looks like she genuinely just wants to be happy. The whole day was a little awkward, for me at least but chloe was the kind of person who is in no need of introduction. And in these moments I realize she was nothing like britt, she was quick to open up to me and she told me how she wanted this last school year of her life to be the best year, she also told me that she ran away from her parents and that for the last 3 years of college she's been lying to them about how she's taking up a degree on psychology but what she really wanted to do was write.
"so uhm thanks for helping me today becs and for walking me to my dorm"
"oh so I get a nickname now huh?"
"totes, I mean you're like the only person I know here and I have a feeling we're gonna be close friends, so see ya and I'll text you okay"
"sure thing chloe, see you"
I was studying on my bed when my phone suddenly rang out of nowhere and when answered it was none other than chloe
"uhm beca, I know it's late and I know this is pretty big for me to ask since we've only just met but is it okay if come stay with you tonight?, I was kicked out of the apartment cause I wasn't able to pay and I don't really know where to go and you're the only person I know, I promise I'll make it up to you and I promise to find a new apartment as soon as I can"
"hey hey chloe, it's okay I mean we have an extra bed here so it's cool, I'll come pick you up"
"oh my god thank you so much beca, I owe you big time"
I was being nice. I thought to myself that in the past years I've never been this nice to someone I just met but here I am now picking up some girl I just met today who can basically be a killer or something but I don't know why there's something in her voice that just makes me feel sad about her or I don't know it's nothing maybe.
I got to her dorm and there she was with a luggage beside her and sitting on the doorstep. The drive to my place was endless thank you's and I'll make it up to you so once we got there I finally had the chance to breath
"so uhm here's the place, it's not that big but me and my friends think it's the closest thing we can get to home, jess?aubrey?, you guys chloe's here. They're a couple and they stay in that room so you'll probably be rooming with me, that's cool right?"
"yes of course anywhere would be fine"
As they came out the room I saw them have the same reaction when I first saw chloe but then I warned them with a look so they just became their weird selves"
"hi I'm Aubrey and this is jesse my boyfriend, we're beca's A-mates"
"apartment mates, little beca here is our best friend and uhm it's been quite a while since she introduced us to a new person she knew so you must be quite a fella chloe"
"oh uhm I just, I really didn't know anyone but beca so"
"don't sweat it red he's just being weird don't mind him"
"hey but at least now you know two more people, we can be like besties or something"
"yeah bree go ahead and chain her up"
Chloe looks at me and wonders what I just said
" I was kidding red"
"oh so now I get a nickname too?"
"your basically my new roommate so yeah, that's our room over there, you can go ahead and settle your stuff don't mind us"
"yea thanks again beca and nice meeting you Aubrey and jesse, can't wait to spend time with you guys"
She walks away with her luggage which and got in the room.
"I like her, I feel like we're gonna get along well. I mean she looked like the type of girl I can hang out with"
"uhm bree, I'm a girl, that you hang out with, and I am nowhere like chloe"
"yea but you know you're more into those….well things I am not into that's why you have jesse and me well now I have chloe"
"are you replacing me with her babe?"
"no you cute little idiot"
"beca by the way I have to ask…you do know her face is like a copy paste of Brittany right? I mean besides the hair she's like a total doppelganger of her. You're not just doing these nice things for her because of that right?"
"I know jess, felt like I had a heart attack when I saw her this morning but no, I'm not doing this cause of britt, I know I'm not"
I got in the room and I see chloe finished fixing her stuff and was just sitting on the bed
"hey, I see you've finished unpacking quickly"
"yeah well there's not much really to unpack since the lady from the dorm wanted me out so quickly I didn't even had the chance to get some of my other stuff"
"wow that really sucks chlo, I'm sorry…okay well I tell you what since you're new here and stuff, do you wanna work at this radio station down the street with me and the other two weirdos you just met? I just got the go signal to finally handle the booth so we need one more person helping to stack some cd's plus it's good since you'll be staying here, jesse and Aubrey agreed to let you off for the first month of pay so you can settle down first"
"beca you have no idea how much you're helping me, thank you so much"
She went for a hug and man it was so awkward I didn't even know what to do so I just patted her back and not a word came out
"so uhm goodnight beca. Thanks again, really. You're like my hero or something..thank you"
"no problem chloe. It's all good, goodnight"
The next morning I woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and pancakes, I went out of the room to see jesse and Aubrey eating like hungry wolves and chloe cooking some new batch of pancakes
"wow didn't know you two didn't eat for a year"
"morning beca"
Jesse said with his mouth full of pancakes
"beca come on try these pancakes chloe made, they delicious oh my god"
"I can very well see that bree, so uhm chlo..it's nice of you to cook breakfast but hey you don't really have to cook for thing 1 and thing 2 you know"
"I got some for us too sleepy head, and it's the least I can do after everything you've done for me"
I take a huge bite of the pancakes and damn they really do taste good
"okay I have to admit these pancakes really do taste good, not bad red"
"Thank you beca"
A whole week has passed, but I guess since chloe's staying with us and the fact we've become close friends drove the whole one week only guide to college thing away. The same routine every morning, breakfast and coffee sometimes now even Aubrey cooks with chloe, school hours wasn't that boring anymore sooner or later a month has passed and I have to admit that this redhead was starting to make me feel things I haven't felt in a long time.
We were at the station once, just the two of us since jesse and Aubrey decided to take an off day teasing that me and chloe might need some alone time. Didn't really get it at first but when they started drawing heart shapes with their hands I knew where they were going.
"uhm beca can I ask you something?"
"pretty sure that was already a question red.."
"ha ha very funny but seriously I want to ask you this but I'm not sure if I should"
"just hit me with it, go on"
"who is britanny?"
"how do you know Brittany?"
"I was checking your facebook, in which you haven't approved my request yet by the way..i saw her, she actually did look like me and jesse told me that she was someone special to you, but he wasn't the one who was supposed to tell me about this"
"Brittany, she's my ex.. she..she's the one you know..i loved her and we were happy but we were always together and when we started to have time apart, I realized that there was so much more than just us, than me and her, and slowly I started to lose that feeling of love but at the same time I didn't just wanna lose her, I wasn't ready to lose her because to me she made everything feel normal, she was the one I depended on and the thought of knowing it was all going to end, I refused to it."
"do you still love her?"
"I do, but now loving her makes no escape to the reality that she is gone..i want this all to end, I want the pain to end, for all what ifs to end."
"you can, if you allow yourself to.."
"look I'm just gonna go to bed and sleep this off, and hey for what it's worth.. you may look like her but you are not the same…you're way different."
"yeah sure and maybe someday you can tell me more about how we're two different people"
"I will red, goodnight"
I have to admit that after that talk with chloe about brit we became closer, as if there were no more barriers and as the weeks passed there were less and less things of the past to talk about but the present keeps us company. It was when we were having picnic near the campus fountain when I looked at her and felt the need to kiss her. No, not a need but a want.. the feeling I never thought I'll ever feel again. And so I did. I kissed her and to my surprise, she kissed me back and everything seemed right as if I was in my new normal and I am here present and finally ready to be happy. after a few weeks we knew we're not just what they call friends but something more. We were at the dorm me, jesse, Aubrey and chloe when my phone started to ring, Brittany's parents were calling on facetime and I knew I had to answer
"hi beca, how are you"
"I'm doing great , just busy with some school stuff the past few days"
"that's okay, so tell me, have you visited today?"
I couldn't answer; I was in total shock and all because It was this day. This day I should be sad, I should be crying, that I should grieving. I was so caught up with happiness I forgot the days I was obliged to be sad. It's not that I don't miss her, but the change in my life was rapid. I know I deserved it but at the same time I felt like didn't.
"I knew it, beca people talk and they say that you found someone, that she even looks like her. I didn't want to believe. How could you do this beca?"
And at the right time jesse took my phone without knowing what the conversations was about because he just wanted to say hi. Wait not just hi, to also introduce our new friend chloe and there was it I didn't know where everything was heading. As soon as had a perfect look at chloe the call ended. It was a beginning of my misery, I owe so much to them, the way they help me in school, the way they took me in, even helping my family when we were on our lowest and now I feel like a fool, like I used them and I just felt completely wrong. I have someone new in my life but I have a past I can never allow myself to escape.
Weeks have passed and I have been constantly avoiding chloe, It felt wrong when I was with her. It felt like I was cheating, a part of me wanted to talk to her but I didn't know what to say. How could I tell someone i love them but at the same time I just couldn't. it had to be so complicated.
"beca, my parents called. They want me to go back home once I finished this term, to go back home and to finish my degree there."
"really?, do they know the truth?"
"yes, I finally had the guts to tell them and you need to do the same too..with birttany's parents."
"let's not talk about that chlo, anyway are you gonna go?"
"do you want me to go?"
I couldn't answer her, her blue eyes were looking at straight at me..i didn't know what to say because I am not okay with her leaving but as long as she is here I wouldn't know what the right thing to do is.
"why can't you answer me?..why can't you tell her parents the truth..about you not wanting to work with them that you want to be in the music industry and not writing..that you"
"cause I can't chloe. I can't. and why do you want me to anyway? Why do you feel like you have a say in my life? Even Brittany, who was my girlfriend for so long didn't meddle with my life like the way you are doing it now."
"I am not Brittany"
"I know you're not, and you will never be her."
"she is gone beca, why can't you accept that?"
"because she is here, in my heart and nothing will ever change that"
"then where am i? where in your heart will you place the people who want to love you now?"
I stood there like a total idiot, like a fool who kept holding on to the past that is clearly gone. Before she walked away she threw a piece of paper at me. "3 pm comoselias" was the only thing written on it. A time and a restaurant, great.
I went to the restaurant and when I walked inside I saw Brittany's parents. They already saw me walked in so I had no choice but to sit down with them.
"what are you guys doing here?"
"well that girl chloe told us to come here, that you have something important to tell us"
"look sweetie it's okay, me and will understand whatever it may be. We're here for you and I'm pretty sure that's what britt would want."
I told them. I told them about how I love music and that is the career I would want to pursue, that I would have to cut off the deal of working with them. I told them about chloe and how I felt love for the second time around. I told them that I love Brittany but I needed to let go of something that I can never have again.
Once everything was out and talked about, we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. I owe it all to chloe. To chloe who gave me the courage to finally own up to my what ifs but there's so much to mend, so much broken pieces to be picked. One week before the term ends and I may never see her again. I went inside our apartment to see if she was there, to finally tell her how I feel but all her things were gone and all that was left was a note:
"you took me in and made me a stronger person, you are not like any other I have met beca. Thank you for everything that you have done for me. I can never repay your kindness and sadly I also can never be the person you want me to be so I should just leave now and let you go. I hope you find your happiness because you truly deserve it. Again, thank you.-chloe"
My heart felt so broken, I thought I would be able to fix things and finally have everything I want in my life but I was too late, I was always too late. The week has passed and since I changed programs me and chloe didn't see each other anymore. Aubrey and jesse were there to help me but I know that even them, they miss chloe. Before holidays started I saw chloe walking to the fountain where we first kissed, I rushed to see her and finally now I have the chance to talk to her and tell her what I want her to know.
"chloe can we please talk?"
"what's left to talk about beca?"
"I love you, please don't leave"
"beca, you don't have to love me because I love you, love me because you love me, because that is what I deserve"
"chloe I do love you, and I know now that it's you who I want to be with"
"beca we all fall in love and we all know who we want to be with but life is not easy to just give us who we want. We met at the wrong time and we know that it's still isn't the right time. Maybe someday I'll get to see you again in my story. I will never forget you beca mitchell. Goodbye"
And that was the last time I saw her. She moved back with her parents and continued her studies in a different university, some days Aubrey gets to call her and ask her about what she's been up to and from what I heard she's doing great and that she has busy with all her school work, they talk about how jesse proposed to Aubrey and that she has to go the wedding, sometimes I just wanna steal the phone and hear her voice again but I was scared to hear her or to even think about her. So now as the school year ends I am moving into LA and start a new life, I sent a few of my mixes that chloe loved back then to a record company there and they offered me a job, I was happy, I should be contented with everything I have but I couldn't shake off the fact that I am missing someone.
ONE YEAR LATER-
Here I am, living the dream in LA, I am now working for this record company and I'm doing the job I've always wanted, Aubrey and jesse have a baby on the way, they're doing great with their law firm together and well for me I guess that's the only thing that's left in my life; love. I don't know if I will ever find someone again, maybe. But how am I still hoping to see her again.
Another typical no work day for me. Alone in the house and nothing better to do than eat and sleep and watch some movie that I'll probably would end up hating. I walk to my dining table and saw this free coupon for some drink and cake at starbucks so what the heck it's free and I have nothing else to do so I drove all the way there to find a completely full store and nowhere to sit.
"hi uhm lady, you see the store is full and I have nowhere to sit so is it okay if I sit here?"
I really couldn't see her since she looked like she was making out with her laptop, god even I don't get that close to the screen
"okay so I'll take that as a yes"
"sorry I mean yes you may sit."
"thanks lady who hasn't heard of such thing like being too close to a screen can kill your eyes"
"ha ha very funny. I'm finishing this script I wrote for a play so i'm like totes focused right now"
The voice was familiar and hell the words even, without any hesitation I closed the laptop of that lady in front of me and there she was, chloe beale.
"I was starting to think I heard that voice from somewhere"
"beca?oh my god it's been so long"
"yeah it has been, how are you doing chlo?"
"oh just busy writing, work you know. What about you?"
"record company and just pressing some buttons there like always"
"nice to see you got your dream job becs"
Oh god how I miss the way she calls me becs
"I see you got yours too"
"well we did try our best to not end up with those careers we didn't want so I think it was all worth it huh?"
"hell yea it was….I missed you, just so you know… I don't wanna pretend like nothing ever happened to us red"
"good cause I don't want to pretend either. I miss you and I wanted to see you but I felt like it'll be a wrong thing to do"
"well we don't have to pretend anymore because now I want you to know that you never left my mind. That as the day passed by I wanted more and more of you, you've been in my hear t since that day I last saw you because that was when I realized I fucked up on something amazing that I could have had"
"we're here now, and nothing's better than the present. we are here now and maybe it is the perfect time."
"I love you chloe, always have and I know back then this seemed so blurry but now I love you and it's just because I love you. That's it. I love you because I love you.
"I love you too beca, it may have been more than a year but you never really left my mind either."
"I want to kiss you but everyone is staring at us"
We both laughed at the fact that everyone was probably watching us and our soap opera scene in the café so I grabbed her hand and walked her to my car, and as I look into her eyes I kissed her. We kissed and nothing felt more right than what I am feeling right now.
"so uhm now what?"
"oh I don't know you're the writer, we drive off to the sunset and we get that happily ever after crap I knew we'll have"
"what about, this is a beginning of an amazing ride and I'm finally complete and happy now that I'm able to call you mine"
"very cheesy, I like it"
We didn't drive off to the sunset but we sure as hell drive off happy. I'm finally complete and I finally am with the person I know I truly love. It didn't matter how long it took, love found its way back into our story and I couldn't be happier. It really is never too late to love again.
A/N:thanks for reading guys!by the way i got the idea of the plot from a movie in the phippines called "barcelona".changed it a bit but you get the whole idea..anyway hope you enjoyed the story and sorry if messed up in any way. Do review and favorite :)
