So this is actually a spin-off from my other fanfic, Remembrance. I refer to it a few times throughout this fic, so if you are a little confused, go ahead and read it too! (What? No, of course this isn't a shameless plug. I don't know what you are talking about.)
This fic is set after the GSD timeline, after the world more or less got back on track.
I disclaim.
The tropical sun burned down on him as he disembarked from the shuttle.
It had been close to two years since he had last been in Orb. Or Earth, really. He narrowed his eyes at the blinding glare of the sun. He had forgotten how harsh its light was; the imitation they had up in the PLANTS was nothing like the real thing. Aside from the fact, of course, that he had spent a large portion of the last two years in a warship where halogen lamps were the only source of light.
He breathed in the air. It smelled of the sea, and he felt a dull pang in his heart.
She loved the sea.
They used to spend countless hours on the beach, talking and laughing. The months he spent with her were probably the happiest time of his life; her presence alone used to make him so happy, whole. Simply hearing her voice soothed him of the pain and horrors of the war. It was strange, but it was wonderful. He had been involved with many women before her, but only she –a relatively plain, relatively ordinary Natural girl- invoked that kind of peace within him.
He shook his thoughts off as he walked through immigration. He was making it sound as if she was dead; she had survived both wars and was still living in Orb as a freelance photographer. He had no right to be so goddamned sentimental, when she wasn't even completely gone from the world. He recalled his best friend's grief-stricken face as he pulled his loved one out of a crushed MS cockpit, and his anguished howl as the light left her eyes. That had been a true tragedy, and his problems dwarfed in comparison to his friend's suffering.
But then again, even though she was alive, she might as well have been dead to him.
His steps grew heavy as he stepped out of the airport. It had been about half a year since the ceasefire of the Second Bloody Valentine War, but there were still remaining scars from the war in the beautiful horizon of Orb. Of her home.
"Dearka!"
He turned around, and saw a familiar blue head among the greeters. He wiped away his previous expression and replaced it with a smile.
"Athrun, long time no see, man."
Athrun's friendly green eyes was a more reassuring welcome than he could have hoped for.
"Is that all you have?"
Athrun said, pointing at his suitcase. He nodded, and Athrun led him to the parking lot.
xoxox
Within five minutes, the two were on their way to the Athha estate. Dearka ran his hands over the leather-covered seats of Athrun's black convertible.
"Geez, could you have a flashier car?"
Athrun laughed good-naturedly at his comment. Laughter sounded so foreign after months in ZAFT and dealing with Yzak.
"I do make a decent living as the ambassador to Orb."
"Glad to see our tax money being put to good use."
Athrun chuckled again.
"Thought you would have come here sooner."
Dearka ran his fingers through his hair and looked out of the window. The sun was setting into the ocean, leaving the sky and the water a million different shades of red and yellow. He had never known that there were so many colors on the spectrum until he met her.
"Couldn't. The Council and ZAFT were both in pieces, and it took a while for things to settle down."
"I can only imagine."
They were silent for a few minutes until Athrun asked hesitantly.
"How's Yzak?"
Dearka sighed. His friend had probably lost more to the war than anyone else he knew. It pained him to see Yzak pretend like nothing was wrong, working like a madman until ridiculous hours at night, when he probably wished nothing more than to shut himself off from the rest of the world.
Yzak was strong, but nobody was that strong.
"He's…functioning. Barely. I don't know, Athrun. He insists that he is fine, and you know him –if he says he's fine, then he's not gonna give us anything else."
"You knew his girlfriend too, right?"
"Yeah. She was…perceptive. She was an intense person, kind of like Yzak but in a less obnoxious, less violent way."
"Do you think he will be able to let go?"
Dearka leaned his head on the window.
"…They were engaged. And you know he doesn't do shit like that unless he really means it."
He saw Athrun's grip on the steering wheel tighten. He closed his eyes; while he was nowhere as devastated as Yzak was, the death of Shiho Hahnenfuss was still a painful memory in his head. They had been teammates through the Second War, after all. He could still feel the bile in his throat whenever he recalled her mangled body, the blood, and the smell of burning flesh. Seeing his trusted superior and teammate die such a gruesome death was scarring, to say the least; he could not imagine having to witness someone he loved die that way.
"You are mad at yourself for letting her go."
Her voice still rang in his head. She was right. She had always been right. And her death, watching Yzak fall apart in front of him, taught him a greater lesson than the years at school or his term in the military.
There was no guarantee for anything in the world.
When Shiho died, he came to the realization that she could as well, at any moment, out of his reach. It was the last push he needed to return to Orb to tie the one loose end he had left behind.
But as the lights of the Athha estate appeared over the horizon, he could feel a growing anxiety in his heart.
xoxox
"Dearka Elsman!"
He was greeted with a bear hug as soon as he stepped into the mansion, and he could not help but smile. The Chief Representative may have become a more mature, capable leader, but she had not changed at all inside. Athrun let out an amused laugh behind him.
"Cagalli, you gotta let me breathe."
The blonde girl scoffed at him.
"Like you're that fragile. Come on in, I've been starving waiting for you guys to show up!"
He had no idea how Cagalli managed to fit such a huge smile on such a small face. He glanced at Athrun, who simply shrugged. Dearka smirked; the valedictorian of the ZAFT military academy was really nothing more than the perfect example of a whipped boyfriend.
The three ate dinner in the kitchen; Cagalli hated the dining room, Athrun explained, because it was too big and airy and formal. In Dearka's humble opinion, the kitchen was still pretty darn big. It was definitely larger than his dorm room in ZAFT, at least. But of course, that meant nothing when his dorm room was hardly the size of a broom cabinet.
They talked happily for hours, catching up on the last few years of their lives that had been nothing but hectic. Cagalli complained about the other hardheaded representatives that apparently existed simply to make her life infinitely more complicated, while Dearka retaliated with stories about some PLANTS Council members who even Lacus Clyne wanted to strangle. Athrun mostly laughed through the conversation, but even he had a few interesting episodes about catching his secretary and his aide hooking up in his office.
"Oh, how's Kira by the way?"
Cagalli asked while stuffing her mouth full with chips, and Athrun also looked at him curiously. Dearka sighed; Kira Yamato was currently the ambassador of Orb to the PLANTS, just like how Athrun was the ambassador of the PLANTS to Orb. Even he agreed that they were both perfect for the job, but it seemed too much like a conspiracy by Cagalli and Lacus to keep their respective boyfriends at bay.
"He's doing perfectly fine. Although if they keep jumping at each other like bunnies, they're gonna end up with little super coordinator babies pretty soon."
Cagalli and Athrun both blushed furiously, and Dearka leaned in with a teasing smile.
"So what about you guys?"
Cagalli choked on her food and started coughing violently. Athrun gave him a death glare, which would have been much more threatening if he did not look like an overripe tomato.
"Wha…what are you… What do you…"
Cagalli finally managed to sputter, and Dearka burst out in laughter. It was refreshing to have people actually react to teasing for a change. Kira and Lacus managed to wear that same gentle, unfazed smile despite his best attempts at embarrassing them. And Yzak…Yzak was still in no shape for any kind of joking.
"Well Dearka, why'd you decide to come here all of a sudden?"
Cagalli asked, obviously desperate to change the subject. Her question instantly sobered him up, and he sighed.
"You're such a party pooper, Cagalli."
"Shut up."
He sighed again, making sure to look away from the two before he answered.
"I wanted to see Miriallia."
It was the first time he dared to mentioned her name since they broke up, but it hurt much, much less than he was expecting. He was fine. The world did not come crashing on him, or threaten to tear him up into pieces. He slowly returned his gaze to the two, who only looked mildly surprised.
"I didn't know you still kept in touch with her."
"I don't."
"So this is like a surprise visit?"
Dearka had to fight the urge to glare at his friend. Athrun was one of the friendliest, most harmless people he knew, but there were the rare instants when he was incredibly naïve. Fortunately, Cagalli beat him to it by slapping the back of Athrun's head. Athrun simply looked at her like a lost puppy.
"What was that for?"
"For being extremely thick. Anyhow, I'm thinking it's getting pretty late and you're probably tired from the trip, so…"
She glanced at Athrun, who nodded. They stood up and Cagalli led them back to the front door, where they exchanged brief goodbyes.
As soon as Athrun started up his car, Dearka looked at him incredulously.
"Seriously, you guys aren't living together why? She's got a house that's five times bigger than anyone would need."
Athrun stepped on the gas, throwing them both against the back of their seats.
"Because that would be the biggest scandal in the history of Orb. She can't risk that kind of publicity, at least not yet."
"Not yet?"
Dearka joked, but Athrun's answer was in complete earnest.
"Hopefully, one day."
Dearka looked at his friend in amazement and let out a defeated chuckle. If only he had that kind of resolve and sincerity back then, things probably would not have ended with Miriallia. But he was still a kid –an arrogant, self-centered teenager who too caught up in his own pain too see through her scars.
He needed to redeem himself, to atone for the biggest mistake in his life.
