Peter was watching TV when he heard a loud knocking on his door. It didn't sound like regular knuckles or even a fist, it sounded like someone was nailing something to the door. He sprung to the door and yanked it open, reviling one Wade Wilson holding a hammer.

"What the hell are you doing?" he snapped, a bit afraid of looking at the other side of the door and finding a small woodland creature. Wade just beamed at him and stepped into the apartment, throwing a hammer behind himself. Peter sighed. "Why don't you come in, Wade?" He glanced at the door before closing it; there was a colorful elaborately woven palm hanging there. "What's that for?"

"It wards off evil," Wade answered lightly. "Mexican tradition."

"Last time I checked you were Canadian."

"Nothing fun about having an Egg Hunt at my age, unless I'm doing it naked and looking for different kind of eggs," Wade smirked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Peter cringed at the horrible innuendo and sat back on the couch. "Wanna go down to Mexico and burn a Judas effigy filled with firecrackers? It's illegal, gonna be fun. Whataya say?"

"I say no," Peter deadpanned and increased the volume on the TV.

"Wow, aren't you a sad little boring spider," Wade sighed, sitting next to Peter. "What are we watching?"

"Hawaii Five-O reruns."

"Did you know that Hawaii doesn't really have a statewide police department?" Wade asked, mouth full of tacos. "This whole show is a lie, Peter."

Peter's mouth twitched and he turned to look at Wade, his eyes suddenly curious.

"How do you even know that?"

"In my… line of work you gotta know these things, you know?"

Peter hummed noncommittally, and went back to watching the show. Wade was fiddling with mask in his hands, looking around the apartment. Peter smirked and patiently waited for Wade to soon start losing his mind from boredom. As soon as Wade sighed heavily, Peter switched off the TV and slumped against Wade's shoulder, pushing his face into the crook of his neck.

"So do you have any more interesting facts to share?" he muttered against Wade's skin. Wade shuddered, which made Peter chuckle and start kissing Wade's neck. "Well?"

"I, uh," Wade stuttered before clearing his throat, "once I, uh, crashed a traditional Japanese wedding in, uh, a Shinto shrine, and- they, uh, they exchange cups of sake, the bride, the groom and the parents, a total of nine sips, it's called san-san-kudo, and, uh, it cements the bond between the families."

"Fascinating," Peter hummed, tugging at Wade's costume, and moved to mouth at his collarbone. "What else?"

Wade grunted and closed his eyes, releasing a shuddering breath when Peter's teeth scraped his skin. He shifted a little to allow Peter better access to his sternum and growled, when he felt Peter's tongue there.

"All right, well you can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer, and, uh, and in Paris, you can buy beer at MacDonald's. And they call- they call it a royal-"

Peter pulled back to look Wade at Wade, eyes narrowed and brow furrowed.

"Are you quoting Pulp Fiction at me? Poorly, may I add."

"Maybe? Why?

"Nothing, I just didn't think you'd knew quotes from a movie that hasn't Bea Arthur in it."

"Well, it is a classic."

"Still, this is playing dirty."

"I didn't know we were playing a game. I'm tired of thinking, and I don't want to talk anymore anyway."

"Oh yeah? And what would you rather do?"

Wade's response was to pull Peter fully into his lap and capture his smirking mouth in a hungry kiss. Peter put his hands around Wade's neck and rocked his hips slightly, making Wade shiver. Peter pulled away and smiled lazily, brushing his thumb behind Wade's ear.

"I don't know… I think listening to your trivia would be much more… exciting. I don't know what you could possibly say to convince me otherwise…"

"Haré que tu telaraña salga de otra parte, hombre araña."

"Well, there go my pants…"