DISCLAIMER: I don't own Our Girl or any of these characters. All credit for their creation goes to the very talented Mr Tony Grounds. Thank you for inventing the fantastic characters of Molly, James and Smurf.
Author's notes at the bottom.
October 2013
Tuesday 22 October 2013
We are nearly all set for deployment and I'm really pleased with the unit. They all seem to have gelled really well and it's a great bunch of lads. I hope I can keep them safe and we have a successful tour. They are starting to wander in from their pre-deployment leave and we will have a few days to get our heads sorted out before we leave.
I'll really miss Sam, but I hope Rebecca can get her head together. It's strange to think I am looking forward to a divorce at the end of the tour. Got a letter from Mum today and she was sounding me out about what I was going to do about Sam. As long as I get to see him regularly I'll be happy. A son should grow up with his mother and my job won't exactly help. Hopefully Rebecca will let Sam be part of all our lives.
Wednesday 23 October 2013
Greeted with the unhappy news that the medic for two section, Simon Peters, has been drafted to fill a battlefield casualty. I can't believe that the Army is sending us a replacement at this stage in proceedings. The platoon has been training together for six months and works like a well-oiled engine. Putting someone into that at this stage risks upsetting the delicate balance we've been building. For God's sake – we fly out tomorrow! Still, Corporal Kinders has potential as a Corporal even if he is a little inexperienced in the role and hopefully the new medic will be able to give and take – he/she'll need to with Smurf in their section.
Have just found out that the medic is a newbie. Straight from training. I hope they sent us a good 'un. It's such a key position.
I'm so pissed off with my bloody boots. Why oh why did I need to change the bloody things. I'm getting blisters already and it's only going to get worse.
Thursday 24 October 2013
Not impressed with the new medic, Private Dawes. What a complete gobshite. I just know she's a bad apple and she's going to hold the rest of the platoon back. She hadn't been with us for 10 minutes before she was mouthing off. I stamped on her hard. I reckon I'll be having to do quite a lot of stamping going forward. She's this complete mouthy Essex girl. Actually, I tell a lie – she's from London. I just looked in her personnel file. She had very good marks from her advanced training but it's difficult to justify those against her attitude and I'm really concerned about her competence.
All the guys in the mess were laughing at me this evening. It seems I've got the only medic who's afraid of the sight of blood! There was an emergency this evening and Dawes was called in to assist and she totally froze. To be fair, they said it was a bad one, but how am I going to get her up to the grade? These are my men's lives she's responsible for.
Should I try and wash her out now, or give her the benefit of the doubt? To be fair, it is her first Tour, and she is new to the unit. Although she seems to know Smurf. I guess I will need to make a decision over the next few days.
Saturday 26 October 2013
Still don't know what to do about Dawes. She was late for the orientation run yesterday morning and turned up in PT gear! When she had finally changed, she couldn't keep up and froze when we staged a drill. But she did keep trying. I can respect that. She is plucky, even if she's shite. If I do want to wash her, I will have to tell Major Beck PDQ. I don't know what to do. She isn't fitting in well with the men and I worry that without that cohesion it will be difficult for her to function.
I worry that her mouth will get her into trouble though. In the briefing today she made a silly comment about us being lolly pop men with guns. In retrospect it was quite funny but there's a time and a place, and when you have just joined a new unit you should be keeping your head down and trying to settle in. I couldn't believe it. I had to smack her down again. It was quite tragic when I did. Her face kind of imploded, going from grinning to sullen in about half a second. She shut up for the rest of the meeting. I was sorry to do it, but it had to be done. My people have to stay focused – that's the only way we're all going to get through this alive.
I was a bit out of line with her at the end of the meeting. I regret it now, but she really pissed me off. Kinders was telling them to go for their medical checks and I made some crack about speed dating. I hope I haven't isolated her more.
Apparently the boys really ripped her at the medical checks. It's all over the section that she froze on the first day. Nude-Nut did the old "cut myself shaving gag". Apparently it was classic. The old ones are always the best!
Sunday 27 October 2013
So here we are at the FOB. It's actually one of the more luxurious FOB's I've been in. Tents, showers, will wonders never cease? I must be getting soft. I even get my own office/bed area. I met up with Captain Azizi and his team, the unit of Afghan National Army that we will be working with. They seem a good enough bunch, but you never know. Hopefully there won't be any green on blue. I met with the ASF detachment commander with Major Beck. Our interpreter is a guy called Qaseem. He seems solid enough and pretty proactive. His wife and daughter were killed in a bomb in Kabul so he is really motivated. He used to be a lecturer in English so he should be a good enough translator.
The boys are in good spirits. All except for Dawes. Corporal Smith and Three section already volunteered to do the entertainments for the week. God help us!
I'm a little nervous ahead of the first patrols. I will have to go out with each of the sections to make sure they do OK. It will be the first time I can get an idea for how they are doing and also for how bad this area is. My blisters are still killing me and I have to do three patrols in one day. Doh!
Monday 28 October 2013
All in all I was quite pleased with how they did on their first patrols. There was a bit of excitement from 1 section. They thought they saw a Taliban with a gun, but it turned out to be the local Imam. Crisis averted. Luckily no one got shot. Even Dawes was alright. Hopefully she can start to settle in now. For the first time she didn't try to give me a flip answer when I asked her a question. She seemed focused. Maybe there is hope for her.
One area of concern is that Dawes approached me after the patrol and told me she has some concerns about Smurf. Since she has been pretty much joined to his hip since she joined us, I have to take her comments seriously although I told her not to worry at the time. I'm quite impressed. The two of us haven't had a good relationship and for her to come to me with a problem like that concerning probably her best friend in the group, says quite a lot about her professionalism. Maybe her trainers were right about her. I will have to keep a close eye on Smurf now. After what happened to Geraint I don't think I could face telling his mother that I lost her other son.
A bit of excitement after today's afternoon patrol by two section. The Taliban opened fire and pinned them down. Kinders reported that they were targeting "the female" so I ordered them back to the FOB. Dawes seemed to freeze and then Smurf opened up on a building, full auto. I didn't see anything. I'm not even sure Smurf did.
After giving them a massive bottling I asked Dawes to help with my blisters to give me a reason to talk to her about it in more detail. She confirmed she froze and refused to drop Smurf in it. Commendable. Glory be, she also did a great job with my blisters. Maybe she's right, she is "the nuts" as a medic!
I had it out with Smurf and told him I am worried about his behaviour. I hope he gets himself under control. I couldn't face having to tell his mother that he's dead. What's really sad is that he has the potential to be a great soldier, maybe one of the best I've ever served with. Better than his brother. If he gets his head on straight.
Tuesday 29 October 2013
My bloody blisters. They're killing me! Two patrols today with 1 and 3 sections and briefing two section for the move up to the Mountain CP tomorrow.
I'm really worried about the Mountain CP. There is a known minefield nearby. They're only old Russian mines, but a mine is a mine. Hopefully the charges will have decayed in the last 25 years and they won't be an issue. I can hope, but I still worry they could come around and bite us in the arse.
I'm worried I might have isolated Dawes. At the two section briefing today the rest of the section wasn't talking to her and wouldn't go anywhere near her. I'm thinking back to what I said to Smurf and I think I could have phrased it a bit better. Hopefully they'll be better tomorrow. I hope that everything goes OK with the trip to the mountains.
Wednesday 30 October 2013
That damn Dawes. I don't know whether to kiss her or kill her! Maybe I'll kiss her then I'll kill her!
It's because of her I'm not down one man, and it was Smurf. Maybe I'll hold off killing her for the time being. Maybe I'll kill Smurf instead!
It started off like a normal day. On the march up to the Mountain CP I asked Dawes what the problem was with the guys. She said they'd sent her to Coventry! I was really impressed that she could still joke after what the boys were putting her through. Maybe I had misjudged her. I tried to reassure her that what she told me about Smurf I had listened to and that she was doing her job. I guess I had never appreciated how being a medic is so similar to command before. Like me she is separate from the rest of the men. In the same place, but never totally part of them. Maybe we have more in common than I realised.
I also saw a bit of the mouth. But she had it more in control. She was wondering what would happen when we left. I wonder about this sometimes as well but I told her what works for me. That all we have to worry about is following orders. Our superiors can worry about strategy. She seemed surprised, but accepting. Again a surprise.
It was that afternoon when it all went to shit. I remember exactly when it happened. I was talking to Dawes. She made some crack about how it was lucky that the Army hadn't been called in to make sure she went to school. Turns out she didn't really do school. She was just telling me that she didn't get any GCSEs when it happened. A gunshot. Nude Nut ran towards us yelling "man down".
It was Smurf. He had wandered into the minefield and been shot. What a fuck-knuckle. Dawes seemed to be in a daze but when Mansfield screamed that Smurf needed a medic did she ever spring into action. It was the gutsiest thing I ever saw. The girl was quite clearly terrified but she offered to go for Smurf despite the fact that the fucking idiot had taken the vallon with him.
I was like – no way! I'm not risking another one of my people. She shouted me down. Told me she didn't want special treatment because she was female. I'm ashamed to say I think I had treated her differently because she is a girl. When I see her there with her gear on, all five feet nothing next to all these big butch squaddies, it has been difficult to see her as a soldier not as a girl. No longer.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER OF ONE OF MY SOLDIERS.
Molly Dawes is all soldier. And she's a fucking cracking medic. She went down into that minefield to save Smurf, and she succeeded. As soldiers we are all tested at one time or another. Molly Dawes passed that test. She didn't know if she could do it. If she could function as a combat medic but when the shit hit the fan she showed her true colours.
She crawled across a minefield to save a comrade. A fellow soldier who had alienated the rest of her section but a fellow soldier nonetheless. Halfway across she set off one of the mines. I don't know how she survived. Had the Russian explosives decayed? It looked like a pretty impressive explosion to me. Admittedly they were only anti-personnel mines and small ones at that. Dawes told me later that she hadn't stepped on the mine, she had just pushed it to the side so most of the explosive force went to the side. Nevertheless, she is one lucky solider.
It threw her in the air and my heart was in my mouth. Smurf was injured, perhaps dying, and now Dawes was likely dead as well. I screamed myself hoarse trying to get any sign of life, any reaction at all, and those words "I'm all right. I'm all right, sir" were like manna from heaven to me. She picked herself up and went to treat Smurf. And she saved him.
When the MERT arrived I ordered her not to go up in the winch. I can still remember her answer – "sir, the tourniquet's not working. If I take my fist out of his groin he's gonna bleed out". Once again, she was willing to risk her life for her comrades. We all hope we will be able to do it when the time comes, while praying secretly that the time doesn't come. Molly Dawes did it twice in half an hour.
I yelled at her, screamed at her not to do it, but she did. My heart was in my mouth as she went up on that winch. But she made it. The lucky soldiers are always the best. She has the potential to be very good indeed. She was absolutely awesome. I've nominated her for a medal for what she did; it was above and beyond the call of duty.
I asked Brains to retrieve her Bergen which she'd dropped just ahead of the minefield. We pulled back to the CP and I ordered three section to come up and relieve two section. They could use their vallon to recover the two weapons and any other equipment left behind. I returned with two section to wait for news. The boys were absolutely wired. Blown away by her behaviour. That someone they had reviled earlier in the day was willing to risk her life for them made a huge impression. They realised they had totally misjudged her.
When she got back to the FOB later that evening she looked like hell, but she looked amazing as well. Her face was covered in cuts. I didn't want to but she needed a good reaming out for what she'd done. I read her the riot act the same way Major Ross did to me when I went back for Geraint. It was really sweet. She totally caved and apologised. Since she did I offered her a way out and asked if she had heard my order not to go up in the winch. We both know she did but ignored it. And we both know why. She took the opportunity to plead ignorance, so I let her off with a well done. The boys made sure she knew they appreciated her.
Thursday 31 October 2013
If anything, Dawes looked worse today. Bloodied and bruised, but unbowed. She is impressing me more and more. She didn't ask for any special treatment. She was up to do PT with the company and got on with her job as if nothing happened yesterday, even though I know she must have been feeling really ropey. It looks like I misjudged her at the beginning. The boys were impressed as well and made an effort to include her. I am pleased that she seems to be settling in.
I asked her if she had had a chance to talk to Smurf and ask him what happened? Honestly that boy is such a prat. Apparently he saw a kid down there and went to investigate. He is going to get such a bollocking from me when he comes back. Of all the things to do. And him as well. How does he think I would feel if I had to face his mum after he got himself killed doing something stupid like that? I think I'll put him on latrine duty for the rest of the tour. Maybe the rest of his life. That seems like a reasonable punishment.
I've thought more about what Dawes did during today, and I've come to the conclusion it was just fucking awesome. To risk your life not once but twice in 30 minutes. She knew there was a sniper in the area but she did it anyway. And it turns out she really is "the nuts" as a medic as well. The report came back from Bastion on Smurf's condition and the doctors confirmed that he would have died if Dawes hadn't got to him and still would have died if she hadn't treated him as well as she did.
It's a weight off my shoulders and I'm now more hopeful I can get everyone through this tour without losing any. Two section is really my concern. They're light a lance corporal and Kinders is pretty junior in grade. My other two sections have experienced corporals and they are both solid. Kinders is a bit weak at imposing his will on the troops. I was surprised that he didn't step in when they started shunning Dawes. A good NCO should have done that. I'll need to start counselling Kinders on leadership. At least he was solid in action. He seems to have good instincts, just not enough confidence. Maybe I'll need to spend a bit more time with two section.
I might have to if my bloody blisters don't improve! Maybe Dawes can help with that. She is, after all, the only medic on this FOB. I'm sure there's an ANA medic out there but it would be the height of discourtesy to Dawes to go to the ANA when she is here. Besides, she seems to cope pretty well and I'm sure her chippy personality will help when the boys have been here for a few more weeks and start to try it on with her. I can't see her taking any shit from them!
A/N 1 I'm not in the Army and never have been. I've tried to make this as close to real as possible (in terms of how the Army works – obviously it would be the height of arrogance to presume I could comment on experiences of life in Afghanistan) but if anyone who has been in sees any major cock-ups I am happy to change them. Apologies in advance. I've tried to do the best I can with all the inaccuracies in the series but there are some I can do nothing about.
A/N 2 On that subject I understand from my reading that there should be a medic in each section, but there only seems to be Molly for the full platoon at their FOB. Maybe there is a shortage of medics.
A/N 3 This is going to be a bit fluffy and a bit angsty. It is NOT an action fic and will describe James slowly falling for Molly from his point of view; something we never see in the series. If you don't like this sort of fic then don't feel the need to flame me – just don't read it!
A/N 4 This is my first published fanfic. Hopefully it's not too bad. I write for a living but it is a totally different type of writing (report writing - as you will probably tell from my style).
A/N 5 SPOILER ALERT. I am starting this fic after Episode 4 and it is intended to only be 6-7 chapters (for every month they are deployed).
Update 21 Oct 2014 I have updated the name of James' wife (Rebecca) and son (Sam) post Episode 5 (according to IMDB).
