Okay, IDK why I thought of this but I did… hope you enjoy chapter one. I do kinda like Twilight but I am starting this in honor of my mommy, daddy, brothers, friends, uncles, aunts, hell, everybody! Don't like it, you just don't have a sense of humor:)

Starring:

Edweird Colon (Edward)

Jaflub Sap (Jacob)

Carpedophile Colon (Carlisle)

Esgay Colon (Esme)

Rosflea Colon (Rosalie)

Isasmella "Smella" Colon (Bella)

Vo-mmett Colon (Emmett)

Kill (Phil)

Jasperve Colon (Jasper)

Al-lice Colon (Alice)

Renastee "Messie" Colon (Nessie)

Barflee Swob (Charlie)

AND MANY MANY MORE!!!

Introduction:

There once was a very interesting family that lived in the town Dorks. They were called the Colons. The Colons were no normal family. Hell, some people wondered if extremely weird was a good enough word to describe them.

There were the parents, Carpedophile and Esgay who looked as if they became parents when they were two. Then there were the children… Jasperve, Al-lice, Rosflea, Vo-mmett, and the strangest of them all, Edweird.

Nobody knew where or how the Colons came to be but they just showed up one day. None of them new at the time that in just a year a young girl named Isasmella or Smella as she referred to be called would join them and later give birth to Renastee a.k.a Messie.

This is the story of the Colons!

I promise it'll get longer, it's just the intro so, yeah… review!