The presidium was quiet. The only sound that could be heard was the soft woosh of the lake fountains. The relaxing rustle of water falling brought no relief to Kaidan. It didn't matter how many times he walked the presidium, each time he found himself thinking of Shepard. The memory of her haunted him. He could hear her voice in the hushed silence and see her ghost walking the corridors. Kaidan walked lost in memories of times past. Each place along his route was marked by her absence. Kaidan silently recounted each place along his path as times spent with Shepard.

The artificial sun light glinted off the walkway, dazzling his eyes and creating blind spots in his vision. Unable to see, Kaidan stopped at the railing overlooking the lake. The sound of laughter drifted over him as a memory of Shepard engulfed him. The image of her smile made him sigh. He could almost hear her laughter. The memory roused an old familiar ache in his chest. Like an old friend, the pain reminded him of his life without her. He was hollow, a shell of who he was. Shepard. Kaidan breathed deeply as he straightened and tried in vain to calm himself. The tension of his shoulders was a constant reminder of his agitation.

He had been on edge since learning of the Normandy passing into the Omega 4 relay. Each morning he waited, hoping yet dreading any news. Each night that passed with no word, Kaidan would wonder if he would ever see her again. If it was her. He reminded himself again. The doubt that the person he saw on Horizon wasn't Shepard kept him sane. If he allowed himself to believe, even for one moment, that it really was her, fear and guilt threatened to crush him. Each moment his fear and doubt stalked him. They pursued him relentlessly. In the quiet moments, they waited.

In an effort to cope Kaidan threw himself into his work. He looked for places to go, people to talk to, things to do. The only problem was there wasn't much that needed to be done. Finally, after long moments of restlessness, Kaidan was told Admiral Anderson requested to see him. The summons was a blessing. He needed something to take his mind of his fear and doubt. The memory of Shepard wasn't so easily banished.

Kaidan continued walking, wanting to get to the embassies and have something to do. As he passed C-Sec Academy, he breathed deeply as another memory assaulted his thoughts. The image of him and Shepard walking with Urdnot Rex laughing. That's why Shepard's your superior officer. And that's why Shepard would win. Kaidan shook his head and quickened his pace. Seeing the embassies brought a surge of relief. I hope Anderson has something for me. Taking two steps at a time, Kaidan hurriedly walked into the Admiral's office.

Kaidan spotted Admiral Anderson watching him as he entered the room. "Commander Alenko. I'm glad you're here." Kaidan stopped and saluted.

"At ease. I want to speak with you." Anderson turned and walked toward the balcony.

"Sir." Kaidan followed the Admiral.

Leaning against the railing, Anderson stared out to the presidium. Awkwardly Kaidan joined him and quietly surveyed the Admiral.

"C-Sec notified me that the Normandy was en route to the Citadel. ETA 10 minutes. Dock 449." The news stunned Kaidan.

"Shepard?" He gasped.

"Alive and on board." Anderson spoke quietly as he continued to look over the presidium. Unable to restrain himself, Kaidan turned and began walking toward the door.

"Alenko." Anderson's call stopped him. Cautiously he looked back at the Admiral. "Sir?" The Admiral didn't turn to look at him."The Council wants to meet with her in a couple of hours." Pausing, Admiral Anderson glanced over his shoulder at Kaidan. "Make sure she's okay."

"Yes, sir." Kaidan turned quickly toward the door and left the office. Once out of the Admirals presence, Kaidan began to run. Taking the steps two at a time, Kaidan hit the embassy's main floor in a sprint. Not wanting to wait on a fast transit taxi, Kaidan raced toward C-Sec.

After pressing the elevator button, he paced, silently urging the elevator to move quickly. Time seemed to slow as he waited impatiently for the doors to open. Once the elevator reached the presidium, Kaidan pushed through the elevator doors and hit the button for C-Sec Academy. Knowing the descent was only a couple of minutes made the time stretch into what seemed like hours. As the doors opened, he pushed his way through and ran down the steps to the elevator that lead to the dock. Hitting the elevator doors at full sprint, he clawed his way into the interior. Ducking into the elevator, he quickly pressed the docking bay button.

Leaning against the wall, he watched the doors close. Kaidan tried, in vain, to calm his breathing. His thoughts whirled and twisted. She's alive. Kaidan's mind tumbled as he watched the floors pass by the elevator window. What if she's hurt? What do I say? Will she be happy to see me? Kaidan willed the elevator to move faster. The jolt of the elevator broke his rumination. As soon as the doors began to open, Kaidan pushed his way out of the elevator and immediately scanned the docking bay for the Normandy.

"Can I help you?" A docking attendant asked.

"The Normandy..." Kaidan scanned the bays then the skies beyond.

"In bound, 2 minutes." The attendant replied.

Kaidan watched the horizon looking for the Normandy.

"There." The attendant pointed toward the nebula. Kaidan caught sight of the Normandy. The hull was bright, the ships name blazed in triumph. He stared transfixed as the ship slowly approached the Citadel. Walking toward the ship, Kaidan could see someone exiting the Normandy. As he rounded the corner to peer down the walkway, he caught site of Shepard as she talked with an attendant.

The moment he saw her, the world hushed. He could hear nothing but the roar of his heartbeat and the rasp of his gasping breath. Every day since seeing her on Horizon, he tried to tell himself that the woman he saw wasn't Shepard. The person he held, the voice he heard and the face he saw wasn't her. Not Shepard, not his Shepard. Now he realized he was lying to himself. He knew it was Shepard. No one but Shepard could pass through the Omega 4 Relay and return. A wave of relief rushed through him as the realization of what he had done slammed into his awareness. I left her. I let her face the Collectors alone. The hollowness of the past two years engulfed him as fear gripped his heart. What have I done?

Kaidan studied her face as he stumbled toward her. Each step was agonizing. She hadn't seen him. He walked watching where she stood. Her head bent, she spoke with the attendant unaware of him. Look at me. Kaidan silently called. It was as if he called her name aloud, she turned and looked at him. The moment her amber eyes met his, he crossed the remaining steps in rush, scooping her into his arms and burying his face in her hair. The smell of her, the warmth of her touch made him shake. The hollowness that threatened to engulf him filled with brilliant intensity. His world spun madly in response to her presence.

Pulling away, he cupped her face. "Shepard."Gently she squeezed him as she pulled away. Releasing her, he stepped back studying at her face. Like jewels, her amber eyes dazzled him. Her face flushed as she smiled at him. "Kaidan, how have you been?"

Kaidan gaped at her stunned. "How've I been?" He was incredulous. "I didn't know if you were coming back! Every day I checked with Anderson, nothing. I didn't know if you were alive or dead. Why didn't you call me?" Kaidan reached and grasped her hands. Her warm strong hands gently squeezed his as she studied his face, her expression unreadable.

"It was a dangerous mission, the Normandy needed repairs. I came here as soon as I could." The flat tone of her words worried Kaidan.

"Are you okay?" Kaidan squeezed her hands in return.

"I'm fine." Shepard smiled but her tone continued to worry him.

"Shepard, I... I'm sorry." Shepard frowned at him. "For what?"

"For leaving you on Horizon. I should've been there. I should've gone with you. The last few months have been hell. When I heard that you went through the Omega 4 relay. I didn't know if I'd see you again. I don't like how we ended things." Kaidan pressed her hands to his chest.

"Kaidan, your message explained everything." Shepard smiled. Her kindness and understanding made the pain he felt unbearable.

"My message? I, we.. need to talk." Kaidan stepped closer to her. Uncertain, Shepard looked away.

"I have to meet with the Council in a couple of hours. I have to resupply the Normandy. I have a few other things to attend too. Can we meet in an hour?" Shepard asked. Her voice distant.

"Of course. Just tell me where." Kaidan felt relief surge through him.

"Outside the Med Clinic. You remember where?" Shepard looked at him and smiled softly. Kaidan nodded as he squeezed her hands.

"I'll see you then." He brought her hands to his lips. Shepard touched his face before turning away and entered the Normandy. Smiling, he watched her disappear. Kaidan breathed deeply, he could feel his lungs expand and his blood rush through his veins. He was relieved. She was alive and wanted to talk. Having nothing more to do, Kaidan thought of somewhere to pass the time. Flux was close and the drinks were good.