Everything went black from that moment. The moment she told me she didn't want me any more. That was when my life suddenly meant nothing. When everything meant nothing. She said it so calmly like she reallydidn't care about me. About how I felt. The words she spoke cut threw me, like a blade to a wrist. "I'm Leaving" She said, I could still hear her voice ringing through my ears. "I'm not coming back... I don't want you Benji. Don't call me" Those were the last words that she said to me, before she walked out the door without a second glance. I wished I had told her 'Say anything, say anything, please don't walk away.' But she had gone for good. So what was I going to do? Where should I go now? I'm nothing without her, she was all I had. All I wanted. This had to end, I needed my pain to end... but how? What was the end to this pain I felt inside everyday?

I wrote song after song to try and keep my mind off everything, but I just ended up pouring my heart out into the lyrics. They were all depressive and about loneliness. So that wasn't helping at all it only made it worse. I laid down on my big double bed all alone, I looked to the side of me where she used to lay. Everything I tried doing just brought her back to me. I knew that everywhere I would go, everything I would do would make me think of her. She was the reason for so many things I did and the reason for the places I went. We were inseparable and now she had gone, she left me alone like this to pick up all the pieces she left behind. I had to get rid of her things, the photos, the letters, everything I had in my apartment reminded me of her. But the worst thing I had left was a hovering aura that she had left behind. The ghost of you is all that I have left.

So I sat there in my apartment, alone once again. Boxes full of her things surrounded me, like a neon sign flashing 'She left you.' It tore me apart every time I looked at them; burnt through me like a naked flame to a piece of paper. I had nothing else to live for. She was my entire world; without her I had nothing, Iwas nothing. All my friends would tell me not to sit around thinking about her and to forget about it all. And my brother told me he knew she was no good for me, she was just so predictable. I should have known it would end this way, it always did with me. Let's face it, I don't think I'm ever going to be in a proper serious relationship, getting married and having kids, I guess I'll have to just be the best Uncle instead.

I started to think about the good things in life, I concentrated on my music and my band. The music was going great and my family was doing great too. I was going to show the world that I was a happy guy, and I didn't need her to make me happy. I wasn't going to talk about her or even think about her. But sometimes that was hard for me, because at least once a day I saw her picture on the front of a magazine, turned the TV over to see her in an interview or heard her talking rubbish on the radio. Now instead of upsetting me, she was just annoying me. Why hadn't I seen her in this way before, everyone told me she was like this but I guess I just didn't see it. I thought she was the one, I thought she loved me but here she is in magazines talking about other guys straight away, she was nothing to me any more. It was completely over and that was it. I told her that day 'I want the truth from you, give me the truth even if it hurts me.' But this was it. Nothing she could say now would make me give a shit. I was over her for good and getting on with my life and was going to be so much better without her.

I threw all her stuff away, cleared her out of my head and tore her out of my heart. I Told everyone we were through because I'm so much better without her. I should have known better than to fall for someone like her because she never knew what she wanted and never said what she meant. Only hearing half of what I say and always turning up too late. So here I go again.. Moving on. I'm so much better without living in a lie because that's really all it was; her love was just a lie and now it's over and I'm so much better off without her clouding my every thought. 'Cause I don’t care no more, No!'