The Canadian Independence
Author's notice: This is a fictional story about real stuff that actually happened. It didn't happen, but it did.
Many people may not know this but 1961 was the year when Canada became its own country. At the start it was ruled by the Eskimos because it's cold as shit in the early days. But everything changed when the British attacked. The Eskimos fought valiantly, but they couldn't match the British's better guns and bombs. Because they were too stupid to invent guns and nukes.
The British nuked all of Canada over six million years ago, making Canada warmer which killed almost all of the Eskimos. But some survived and went undercover, plotting their revenge. The British than took over Canada and ruled over the native Canadians with an iron fist. For over six million years everything sucked in Canada. But things got better in World War 2
In World War 2, Britian forced all of Canada to attack Germany. Their mission was to kill all the Nazis in the world. Commander Shepard (He is native Canadian) led the mission.
"You'll never get away from me," yelled Shepard to Hitler as he shot him them his machine gun.
"Never!" Hitler shouted as he absorbed the bullets for energy. Suddenly, Shepard realized that Hitler was an Eskimo, but he was an evil Eskimo, not a good Eskimo.
"You are an Eskimo. But I thought them were all dead." Shepard said surprised.
"Yes. But some lived." Hitler shoot Shepard, put the bullet only went through his skull so it didn't kill him.
"Eskimo or not. You still did bad things so must die." Shepard began charging his laser gun.
"Wait. I have something to tell you. How to defeat the british!" Shepard stopped charging his laser gun. "The only to stop the british is by throwing rocks really hard at them."
"Okay. But I still have to kill you." Shepard charged up his laser gun. But something bad happened. "What did you do to my laser gun?"
"Ha ha ha. I rewired it to explode." Suddenly Hitler and Shepard were both sent to the future in the year 2183.
When world war 11 ended, Canada secretly learned that the Nazis were using ancient Eskimo technology which they stole from the Eskimos. The native Canadians than found the Eskimos and learned about the plan. The plan to overthrow the british that was years in the making. Here is that plan.
For thousands of years the Eskimos were exposing all of the native Canadians to small amounts of radiation in their food to make them better and immune to nukes. They also knew how to defeat the british, but knew it must be done in 1961 when all the planets align and shit.
In 1961, that plan happened. The native Canadians and the Eskimos killed every single british person on Canada at once using their super strength. The british back at UK got scared and nuke all of Canada.
But it only made the natives stronger. They all picked up rocks and sticks and threw them really hard across the ocean and towards the UK destroying all of China.
The british surrendered soon after fearing for their lives.
"Please, I beg you. Please have mercy on all of us British people," said King England.
"I will, but only if you promise Canada will become its own country," demanded President Abraham Lincoln Obama AKA Wolverine.
"Yes. Canada will become its own country." And Canada became its own country and the Eskimos once again ruled over Canada. When designing the flag, the maple was originally going to be a middle finger, but the Canadians made it into a leaf. Because they were now nice.
Canada is now one of the best countries in the world next to North Korea, Antarctica, Africa, the ocean and Californa.
The end.
Author's notice: I couldn't find a catergory for real life so I put it in the Mass effect. WHY? Because Mark Meer is Canadian. Therefore Commander Shepard is Canadian. Therefore the Canadian independence is in the Mass effect.
