I had an early start so that I could catch the train. I was meeting my boyfriend Dean down in the east end. I knew what would happen if I didn't do as I was told; Dean had always warned me about how I would be mysteriously telling people about all the doors I would be walking into.

The train left the station at nine. I had put on the outfit he wanted me to wear – a long black dress with white detailing. I was also wearing my hair down as instructed. I reapplied her make up to cover up evidence of the last time I was 'a bad little bitch'. Foundation covered the bruise on my left cheek. But the long sleeves of my cardigan covered injuries of another nature – the times I had tried to escape my mental illnesses, my life, by slicing the pain out of my body with a scalpel I use for artwork. Dean said I was useless: 'How many times have you tried? You're useless otherwise you'd be dead now.' Once I was satisfied, I picked up my suitcase and got off the train.

Dean was waiting on the platform. He looked smug; probably at the fact I appeared exactly how he wanted me to be. He didn't offer to take my suitcase or offer me a polite kiss.

"We have a little job for you. You're gonna be a singer at the Billiard Hall. The twins have asked for you specially."

"Dean I don't know if I'm ready. My schizophrenia is still pretty bad and my non-epileptic seizures are occurring quite often. What if flip out on stage under the pressure?"

"If the twins ask, you WILL deliver!"

We got in the car, Dean driving, and headed to the Billiard Hall. We left my suitcase in the boot and walked in. Inside it was very loud and busy, music going out the door. A man, about 5'9'', came up to us and introduced himself.

"You must be Rachel. Hello, Rachel lovely to meet you. My name's Reggie Kray, Reg. I'm so glad you came." Not that I had a choice. "Dean has told me all about you. Don't worry; I know about your problems, it'll be fine."

"Thanks Reggie. I feel so much better."

"It'll be great having you sing here. In fact I have a favour to ask of you." Dean nudged me and gave me a look that said 'you better say yes or else'.

"I can try Reggie."

"Well my twin brother Ronnie, Ron, is currently being held in a mental institution. I was wondering if you could come with me and see him. He finds it hard to trust people, but if you hear about his problems – I know yours are similar – maybe you could me an insight on how to handle him. What'da'ya say?"

"Sure Reg. I'd be happy to help."

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