Origin
"You hold the answer deep within your own mind. Consciously, you've forgotten it. That's the way the human mind works. When something is too unpleasant or shameful for us to…entertain, we reject it, and erase it from our memory. But the imprint is always there."
-Understanding (Wash it All Away)
Quick beginning N/A: AHHHH!!! Ashii Black is back with a "Sequel" to Whisper! And guess what? You don't need to have read Whisper (though I would love it if you did)! And Whisper isn't finished! Okay, so here are the rules:
Every time I write a chapter, there will be a theme/song to each chapter, and the song name will be the chapter title.
They WILL be out of order.
The song lyrics and titles are from Evanescence's third CD, entitled, "Origin" (thus the title). It was released in 2000, NOT the 2003 edition with 19 tracks!!!
The reason you have no need to read Whisper is because Harry and Draco don't EXIST. Yet. This fic is in Marauder's Days, and Harry might not even be a thought. So pairings: Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Severus, and hell, let's throw in James/Lily. When I first started this, I thought Sirius would have a VERY specific pairing, but he didn't, so yeah…it turned into this Drama Angsty thing…So in other words, you'll understand what happens. Just read!
Summary: There are deaths in the end! Yay for Ashii's nonstop record of SOMEONE dying in her serious fics! I actually wrote TWO alternate endings for this fic, and both will be up once I edit them nicely. So this IS a Romance/Drama fic, so PLEASE forgive me for the crappy angst. There's a love triangle between Remus, Sirius, and Severus. I wrote a bunch of it to expand on Peter and the Death Eaters…And no, I do not believe that "someone" is really crazy, I just wrote it to see him get out of his schoolboy side. Anyways…It's a love thing…I freaking wrote angsty fluff…
Disclaimer: What's my name again? J…K…Ashii…Rowling…Black…J.K Black? No…wait…Ashii Black! Yeah, that's right! Anyways, Ashii Black and J.K. Rowling have nothing in common. You guys see any of the same ideas or similarities in here? Well, we both love Harry Potter and writing and-But I'm not her. I don't own Harry Potter, I only own my ideas and my mad love for the Harry Potter Books. Oh yeah, and my full support to Peter Pettigrew. PPFC FOREVER! (Peter Pettigrew Fan Club)
On with the fic!
Ashii Black
P.S. Special thanks to Chrissy or BlackCat9 for betaing this fic…also to the other Chrissy (ORLANDO BLOOM LOOKALIKE, I SWEAR!) and Koku (Child of the Dragon) for reading it before I put it up here!
Chapter 1: ImaginarySeverus Snape was in the middle of a nice nap on the Hogwarts train, but was woken up, because he heard a loud THUD on the wall in the room next to him, and a quiet, but pleading yelp. He sighed and looked at himself in the reflection on the window.
Black eyes, pale, clammy skin, and greasy hair. He was in his 6th Year, and decided that this year was time for a change. Never again would that James Potter spin him in mid-air. Never again would Lily Evans scream at the two to stop fighting. No, this time, he would come off better.
Another yelp and thud sounded, so he got up, opened the door, and entered the dark room with his wand out. "Who's in here?" he demanded.
A seventh year Ravenclaw stood up from behind the seat. She looked very wild, and was licking her lips. From under her, a handsome black haired boy grunted and pushed the girl off. She let out a shriek as she fell. "Sasha, I'm not interested. Don't ever try that again."
Severus burst out laughing and said, "How many times have you been raped, Black?"
"At least I have girls who want me." Sirius Black replied, sorting out his robes and sitting up. The girl names Sash sent a curse at him, but Severus blocked it instinctively. He sent the curse back at her, and she began to drool tremendously. Severus laughed and walked out, Sirius trailing behind him.
"You helped me." Sirius said as they sat down.
"I didn't mean to. It was instinct." Severus answered, refusing to look at Sirius.
"No, not the curse. You came in there, but you didn't cheer her on. You know how much I hate it when girls think I'd take advantage of it. Why did you stop her?"
"I didn't want you getting caught. Plus, now I've got dirt on you. And you'd better do what I say."
"Shove it up your ass." Sirius replied, stretching out across the seat. "Plus, if you don't remember, I've got some pretty good dirt on you, too."
To keep off of THAT topic, Severus asked, "Where's your little group?"
Sirius frowned. "Well, Remus is a prefect. And James is sneaking into the meeting to – never mind. And Peter…I don't know."
"Who cares?"
"I do." He said, glaring at Severus.
"Well, why aren't you with your other little Griffindor friends?"
"I'm going to turn that question around: Where are your cult members?"
"Probably off exchanging spells and getting high."
"What fun."
"That's what I said. And look where I am." Severus said.
"I noticed. You're not with them."
There was an awkward silence. "How long have we been doing this?" Severus asked.
"Talking in here?"
"Running into each other and talking…in general. Remember last year?"
"Well, I guess it started when I saved you from drowning."
Severus looked down, embarrassed. "Yes. We talked for about 3 hours, didn't we?"
Sirius smiled. "Yeah, we did. You haven't told anyone about anything, have you?"
"Of course not! You think I'm an idiot?" Severus exclaimed, and then got suspicious. "What about you?"
"I have been tempted, but each time, I chicken out. I just can't bring myself to admit that I-"
"You what?" Severus asked.
Sirius smiled. "I missed you this summer, you know. And I guess I really like talking to you." He said and the two leaned forward.
Severus felt their lips touch, and then –
"Padfoot? Are you in there?"
Sirius sprang away, and carefully opened the door. "Prongs!" he exclaimed, turned, gave Severus a strange look, and walked off with James Potter.
Severus gave a loud sigh and slammed the door shut.
"Hey Padfoot, why were you all alone?" James asked, ruffing his already-messy black hair. "Cuz I know I told you to stop touching yourself and to get yourself a girl."
Sirius laughed. "Well, Sasha tried to be that girl today…However, I'm not interested."
"No!" James exclaimed. "My god, you've got 7 girls to choose from, and you don't like any of them?"
"I'm not interested. Those girls are just too- wild."
"Not to mention they're sluts." James said.
"That too." Sirius added thoughtfully.
"Hey you two!" Remus Lupin ran up to him.
Sirius looked at the sandy haired boy. He had tanner skin now, and held a new smile. "Hey Moony!"
"We were just talking about Sirius' fan club." James said.
"Moony, you cut your hair." Sirius commented, talking about Remus' now short hair.
"My mom did it. She told me I didn't look proper anymore."
"Remus J. Lupin is proper?" James asked incredulously.
"So, speaking of some properness, are we going to break into the old magic shop in Hogsmeade this month?" James asked, looking at the two.
"Breaking in?" Remus widened his eyes.
"Are we ready enough for something like that?" Sirius asked. "Those things have GOT to have anti-theft curses on them."
"We can disarm them. We've got Wormtail, and he's tine enough to – well, he's tiny." James said.
"I'm what?" piped up a voice.
"Hey Wormtail, old pal. We're discussing this month's plan." James said, smiling.
"Plan?" Another voice asked behind them. "For what, might I ask?"
"How to get you to go on a date with me." James said, leaning casually against the wall and messing his hair up.
Lily Evans rolled her green eyes. "Only in your dreams."
"You bet." James grinned. "So, how about we make those dreams real and you take a night's stroll with me tomorrow at 7? I'll meet you in front of the Fat Lady."
Lily tutted. "Dreams don't come true, Potter."
"Some do." Sirius put in, looking at Peter and Remus for help with encouragement.
"Oh yes, most of my dreams come true." Remus said with a fake smile.
"Hey! So do mine!" Peter nodded at Lily.
James looked at the boys disdainfully. "Sirius, you've got girls raping you, Moony, you've got O's on every graded piece of work you've ever written, and Peter, you get orgasms quickly. Your dreams are not helping mine."
Peter looking slightly offended, ad Lily actually let out a giggle before saying, "That's 5 points off of Griffindor!" she scolded, and walked away.
James slumped into a compartment. "You three have no idea how hard it is to have a girlfriend that uptight."
"Prongs, since when was she your 'girl'?" Remus asked.
"Since first year. She just doesn't' know it yet." James answered.
"In his dreams." Sirius and another voice said.
They looked to the door and saw Severus. "Ah, excellent. Fresh bait. What shall we do this time, Snivelly?" James grinned.
Severus pulled out his wand. Remus sighed and opened a book, and looked rather bored. Peter jumped up and down excitedly. James was grinning with his wand out, and Sirius also had his wand out, but with a guilty face.
"I'd put that wand away Potter." Severus hissed with a look of loathing. This time WOULD be different. He was going to fight James Potter and come off with the victory.
"Well, if you say so. Accio!" James said, and Severus' wand flew out of his hand. "Winguardium Leviosa!"
Severus flew up and James started spinning him quickly. "C'mon, Padfoot! Help me out over here."
"What do you need me to do, Prongs? You look like you have got everything under control." Sirius said painfully as he watched Severus' face confronted in agony (and embarrassment) as he spun.
"Gee, are you in a bad mood today or something?" James asked, dropping Severus like a fly. He then proceeded to spin him around on the ground. Peter giggled, and Remus yawned. No one was going to help.
"James. Stop. Please." Sirius said painfully.
"Stop? What's wrong?" he stopped spinning Severus and gave his full attention to Sirius.
"Its just…I don't know. Old. Plus, we can beat him up any time…we could just wait until we're in public."
James looked almost offended, but that time gave Severus a chance to dive for his wand, yell out a curse, which hit Peter to give him warts, and scamper off.
Remus quickly did the counter curse for Peter. James slumped into his seat, and Sirius did the same. Both boys were silent.
"I'm going to go change." Remus announced and walked out of the tense room.
Severus was pissed. He had wanted so badly to run back and beat the shit out of James. But he wouldn't. He was scared that Sirius had actually helped him this time. And after what had happened in the compartment, he was very confused.
"Snape!" called a voice.
He turned around and saw Remus. "What do you want?" Severus asked in disgust.
"I'm sorry about what happened back there. But I also wanted to say that I know something is going on with you and Sirius."
"Black and I, friends?" Severus sneered.
"I don't know what goes through your mind. But whatever it is, keep away. Not just for your embarrassment, but to save you and Sirius' neck. If James finds out – "
"Finds out what?" he asked threateningly.
Remus went on, unmoved by Severus' words. "If James finds out that you and Sirius are friends, he will and would kill you."
Severus was silent.
"Look, I don't know why you two are suddenly buddying up, but it's NOT safe." Remus added.
"You are telling me what's safe?" he asked.
"I'm telling you that you should watch your back." Remus said coldly.
"I can take him." Severus replied.
"Like you did just now?" Remus asked with a slight sneer.
"I just know I can beat him." Severus replied. "That is, IF he thinks I'm doing anything unusual. Which I'm not, you great prat."
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Well, good luck and don't say I –"
"If you say that you didn't warn me, I'll hit you. I don't need a wand for that."
"Fine. Good luck." Remus said, and walked back to the compartment.
Severus then did the only thing he could do: he went to join the Slytherins.
They were sitting in a dark compartment, clearly smoking something and chanting. When they saw Severus, one spoke up. "Hey Sev, where have you been?"
"Looking for a damned teacher on here."
"Ooh, pretty boy Snape strikes again Bellatrix Black cried out. A few boys laughed.
His eyes turned to Bellatrix. She had long brown hair she cherished, dark eyes, and a body that turned any eye. "Actually, I found good grounds on how to take out Potter this year." Severus replied.
A younger boy with sandy hair and a childish face replied, "We were just discussing what we were going to do wit this." He held up a huge bag of what Severus assumed to be drugs (the name will not be given in this fic, it can safely be assumed that it is a wizard drug. However, it is MUCH like marijuana.).
"Are we going to sell if and get a profit?" he asked as he took what looked to be a cigarette (More wizard drugs with no name), and lit the end with his wand. He took in a puff and sat down.
"How about not?" Bellatrix asked. "I think I like this stuff."
"Bella, we can always get more…and for a lot cheaper." Regulus Black said, grinning.
Like the Black family, he had inherited good looks. He was nearly a look-alike of Sirius, only his hair was cut incredibly short, and he didn't take very good care of himself. The strangest part about him was his eyes. Rather than having Sirius' dark eyes that made him all the more charming, he had dark eyes that just seemed hollow. His face held nearly no emotion at all.
Bellatrix sighed. "You're always so unreasonable."
"No, I'm just sensible." Regulus replied.
"Quit bickering." Severus ordered. "Really, it gets rather annoying. Can't we get high in peace?" he asked.
"No one asked you, Sev. You're the one who's always trying to get certain people expelled." Replied another person, who had a thick neck, and a unibrow.
"In an angry mood, Goyle?" Severus asked rather loudly.
"So what if I am? At least I'm not thick enough to let the happiness of the Quartet ruin my day." Goyle said nastily.
"Are you calling me a wimp?" he asked, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and pulling out his wand.
"Boys, boys, can't we enjoy our ride here without the fighting?" Bellatrix asked.
Goyle was silent, and then sat back, taking in a deep puff.
"I know some Ravenclaws who wouldn't mind some of this stuff." Crouch suggested to Bellatrix.
"That's right, you are Goody School boy." Regulus said nastily.
As the group kept arguing, Severus went into his own thoughts.
Where was he and Sirius' "relationship" going? Sirius always seemed very sincere when they spoke. Sure, they joked around, but they were always just having fun…right?
He thought about what he had heard Sirius saying to help James with Lily problems. "Some dreams do come true."
He wondered for a moment just WHAT Sirius' dreams were. Then, he got a hold of himself and started coughing on the bad puff he had just taken.
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease, for the fear of silent nights
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The Goddess of Imaginary Light
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
I linger in the doorway of alarm clocks screaming monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
If you need to leave the world you live in
Lay your head down and stay awhile.
Though you may not remember dreaming,
Something waits for you to breathe again.
(Flowers….)
In my field, the paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me.
………………..
N/A: Ah, excellent. I've got my first chapter up. This is a shorter fic, so overall on paper, its about 130-140 pages or so.
Love ya!
And ON WITH THE FIC!
Ashii Black
