My dear readers, may I present to you, the very first chapter of: High School Is a Fucking Mess. (If you haven't read the first story: Puberty Is One BEEP Of A mess, be sure to read that first!)


Do you ever look back on your past and realize that the older you get, the more things seem to...blur together? It's like, you remember being eleven...you remember being thirteen, but it seems like so long ago in comparison to the now, that it's hard to piece every moment together. But things change, and so do people. The way they progress...their personalities, their appearance. All in the blink of an eye. But it's so funny looking back. Life seemed so important at that age. And now, things are so different. We're different. She's different. And you know what?

The blue haired emotion is smirking at the main screen, one eyebrow raised, hands gripping tight to the controls.

It's fucking incredible!


Thursday, March 6th, 2:37 PM, just outside the department of motor-vehicles.

After a brief jump for a joy and a jubilant sounding, "Text you later!" Riley is leaping down the front steps of the boring looking building. Without turning around, she waves to her mother, drops her skateboard onto the ground and in one fluid motion she's leaping atop it, and heading down the declined sidewalk of the San Fransisco streets with the proudest smile gracing her face.

The once, skinny, awkward preteen is now a changed girl. With enough confidence (most of the time) to put all others to shame, she's matured into a young woman, a teenager in her prime. Shes taller, by at least three and a half inches. Her hair is shorter, most of which is covered by the dark gray slouched beanie she's wearing with true style.

She'll pass another on her journey. Jordan, who's skating in the opposite direction. And as they pass one another, they will high five without a single word to be spoken. It's a comfortable sort of friendship that the two share.

Her style- that's right! It really hasn't changed much, if nothing else, it's become more subdued. A pair of ripped skinny jeans, a dark gray unisex style t-shirt that reads I'm No Teenage Icon, paying homage to The Vaccines- a recent favorite band. And a pair of very ratty looking galaxy printed vans. Shoes she's worn for years, and refuses to give up, even if they're nearly busting at the seems.

Years ago, Joy worried that certain assets, her beloved b-cups (as Disgust described them) would possibly grow larger- what would become of their little girl if that were to happen?! Those never changed, those beloved b-cups remained, and that waist remained tiny, and those hips fuller than her youth, wider than her waist by a few inches. But even so, Riley is the same skinny figure from years ago, only her body has aged gracefully. It's no longer undergoing puberty, or looking awkward in places that once left her feeling insecure. Scars are merely indents now, and she's what many might even dare to consider a knock-out.

Riley Andersen is a knock-out.

The ride on her skateboard is no more than twenty five minutes or so. She's a pro by now, having been interested in the trade since she'd turned twelve (thank you, Jordan). The girl comes rolling to the front of the high school that's still piling out. The atmosphere is very relaxed, free. Teens are loading into buses, or into their parents cars, others are driving themselves home, or riding skateboards just like Riley. Other students opt to crowd around in clusters in front of the building to gossip with friends. Riley comes to a halt in front of three very important people.

"There's the birthday bitch, the fuck you doin' leaving me, your babe, and your best friend alone in school today? We decorated your locker for nothing!" Carl, who's shot up in height, easily reaching five foot eleven, stands tall in baggy jeans, a black t-shirt with an intricate design printed on front, and a backwards hat, "Where'd you even go?"

She has to laugh, she's too giddy right now! With a foot resting on top of her board she puts her hands in her back jean pockets, "Sorry, but in case it didn't work out, I didn't want anyone to know and be able to make jokes."

"Oh my god." Amanda who's burning with anticipation, is still the same height. Hair up in a tight, high ponytail (complete with the perkiest of glitter bows), and clad in a cheerleader's uniform. She's unfortunately quit the local hockey team having since found a new love for her squad which she's currently captain of, "Don't tell me! Your...permit?"

Riley raises the paper for the three figures to gush over, "Passed with flying colors! By summer, I'll have that license in the freakin' bag!"

"Oh! This is so exciting! Think of the beach trips, Riley! We're gonna' have it made!"

And finally, Carissa, who's taller as well, tall enough for Riley to only reach her chin (if the two are in a standing position). She's thin, baby muscles developing on her arms. Her hair is still just as short as always, pushed to one side, and sporting gauges in her ears, a size 2. This once adorable middle schooler, appears far more masculine now than she once was. Clad in black skinny jeans, a black, loose, thick strapped tank top, with absolutely no bra on (which she easily gets away with, considering the lack of full chest, really. Even Riley looks entirely filled out compared to her), and a ratty pair of docs, "Fuck, babe, now my birthday gift to you is gonna' suck ass in comparison."

"I told you no gifts, asshole." the grin is enough to indicate the joke- but the two girls always talk this way to each other. The relationship can't possibly be real if an insult or two isn't thrown into the mix, "But Friday, Jordan is inviting everyone over to chill in his basement for my birthday, we can smoke a few bowls and just goof around, he wanted to know if your band would play, by the way."

Yes, Aries on Fire is still alive and well, if not thriving.

"Oh, I'm so there." Carl doesn't have to think about that one.

Amanda rolls her eyes, "Yup, my best guy friend, the pot head." An unfortunate truth of the matter: best guy friend. Amanda and Carl have been broken up long since their middle school romance crashed and burned before Christmas of the ninth grade.

But Riley's curiosity is piqued, "...But what did you get me?"

"Well, it's nothing too crazy, but..." She pulls two pieces of rectangular paper out of her jean pocket, flashing them right in her still girlfriend's face.

Her eyes widen in complete surprise, "No way-" And she snags them away so fast, "Christine and the Queens tickets?! Get the fuck outta' here!" By this point she's slapped Carissa in the chest in complete astonishment.

"Happy 17th, dork! I couldn't wait to give em' to you. I've been keeping this secret for weeks, I was sure I was gonna' crack."

"How the hell did you get these, they sold out in twenty four hours when they went on sale! I even checked stub-hub, like, every day and they had nothing!"

"Because I'm the best, honestly." That confident smile hasn't changed much over the years, "My dad remembered she was your favorite and was able to get tickets since he works for the venue she'll be at." She'll run her fingers through her hair with a playful sort of chuckle, "Surprised?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course!" She'll toss herself right into her girlfriend's chest, wrapping her arms around her shoulders tightly and kissing her cheek, "Thank you so much, I'm so pumped!"

Carl will interrupt the love-fest with the question that's been on the threesome's mind all day, "What was that text you sent us all last night, by the way? I was goin' nuts during class because you weren't here to fill us in."

"Oh shit, yeah" Carissa starts pulling away, "Did you do it?" They're all looking to Riley, waiting for an answer.

She laughs, "I did." With her hand dropping onto her head, she pushes the beanie back and off. Her hair, as mentioned, is shorter than it had been in middle school. But as of last night? The left side has been shaven, revealing a half buzz cut- her side bang, of course, still in tact on the right side of her face.

Carissa is giving a rather suggestive looking smirk, "You look so great- was your mom pissed?"

"Yeah, but only because I just kinda did it without asking her. Apparently if I'd asked, she would have said yes, go figure." But her mom has a way of confusing the hell out of her. Sometimes she doesn't know how she's going to react react to things, "I pulled some of the hair to one side, so if I pull this bit back, it covers the shaven spot. This way, at least I can get some variety when I want it."

"Well, I think it's totally cool." Amanda, who's now looking at her very blinged out cell phone gasps, "Oh! Me and the cheer team are going for some Starbucks before the game tonight. I'm gonna catch you guys later, kisses! Oh! And make a facebook group for the party tomorrow so I know the details of what's going down!" She's already halfway down the road when she finishes that sentence.

And maybe Carl is watching her go, eyes averting to places they really shouldn't be.

"Okay, you guys broke up ages ago, so maybe it's time to stop looking at her ass." Carissa smacks the back of his head.

"...Yeah."

But Riley senses something else, "...What are you not telling us, here?"

Carl remains silent.

"Spill, or I tell Amanda what you were just doing." And Carissa will take no shit. It's the Scorpio in her talking.

"We've been hooking up."

"What?!" That's being said in unison by the infamous lesbian couple.

"Yo, keep your voices down! We're being discreet about it or whatever."

"For how long?" And Riley's actually a little shocked that even she didn't know. Amanda tells her everything. Or so she thought.

"Only the past month, we lost it to each other and then we just...kept at it."

"You had sex?"

"Listen, let's talk Friday at Jordan's, I've gotta' pick up my little sister for my mom. You two just...keep it on the DL, okay?"

It's still coming to them as a shock, but they wouldn't dare betray a friend. And so Riley is turning to Carissa just as she's re-adjusting her hat, and handing the tickets back to her, "How about I take you home?"

The other teen is biting her lip and raising her eyebrows. The two are just as goofy about each other as always, "Please."

Riley is already setting her foot back down onto the skateboard, and just as Carissa places both of her feet onto it carefully, she wraps her arms around Riley's waist, "Go fast, babe."

As if there would ever be any doubt as she's nearly zooming off in the direction she'd come from.


"I can't freakin' believe we have our hands on Christine and the Queens tickets!" And Joy didn't think this day could possibly get better! She's been proven wrong before, "We need to get there at least five hours early, I want to be front and center for our queen and fantasy situation wife!"

"Do you think she'll play iT?" Even Fear is off the wall about it, "God, I love that song. It's so perfect! It's definitely my favorite!"

"I'm pretty partial to Science Fiction." But Anger is big on every song. He knows every word on her album, just like Joy.

"You guys are so dull, Narcissus is Back is totally where it's at!" Disgust will digress, however, "Can we talk about how delicious Carissa smells? Do you think she'll invite us in for a little making out? I'm so thirsty lately."

"You're literally always thirsty, you slut." Wow, harsh, Anger.

Boy, the emotions have matured so much, becoming just as wreckless as the average teen would be. Profanities included.

Joy will keep the peace just as always, even so, "She's not a slut, she's hormonal, and you have no chill. So you're one to talk, Anger."

"Did I, at any point, ever say that I had chill? I don't believe I did. So what does it matter?!"

Sadness heaves a sigh that's loud enough to echo through the room, "We've been ready for months to take it further than making out, but it's such a scary thought. If we make the move, what if she doesn't want it?"

"She wouldn't be dating us if she didn't want it," Disgust scoffs, flips her hair back, "Besides, Riley's a babe, if she doesn't want it, she's blind. She wants us just as bad, you can't be so negative."

"Of course I can. She could see us naked and be appalled."

"Yeah, appalled she didn't touch us sooner."

"Okay, okay, enough sex talk!" Joy is waving her hands in front of her, "Let's talk about Friday."

"And how many brain cells we're probably going to kill from smoking weed."

That causes an awkward silence, Joy is running out of patience for Sadness today, "-Anyway, what are we wearing, and are we crashing?"

"I say we text Carissa later tonight after we make the facebook group and see if she's cool with us crashing at her place." Anger presents an excellent point, "Because if we go home, Carissa has to sleep on the floor, and Riley's gonna' want to share a bed with her."

"Good idea, we'll remind her to text Carissa about it later!"

"I can't believe two months from now, we'll have been dating her for three years. That's seriously incredible." And while Disgust won't admit it, she never imagined they'd even last that long.

"I know, it's so romantic! Sure we've fought here and there, but what couple hasn't? And we always get through it. Carissa is a good one...maybe even the one!"

"It's a little freaky to me." Thank you, Sadness, "...They've been together since they were fourteen, and I don't know, I feel like being together that young sets you up for failure."

"Not necessarily."

"Yes it does, Joy."

"Lots of people make it!"

"Just barely."

"You talk about Carissa and Riley like they're everyone else." Disgust won't stand for any talk of break up in the future. She refuses to believe it'll happen because they're too perfect for each other in personal opinion that she will always deem fact, "But they aren't. They're mature, they communicate, they voice their insecurities, they stick up for one another. Their bond is strong, the relationship is strong. They're not about to give all of that up and cut the ties. So just...chill, Sadness. Have better faith in them."

"As long as stupid fucking Jensen keeps her eyes away from Carissa. She's been eyeing her since we started dating and I don't trust her." There's a light cloud of smoke bursting from Anger's head and up into the air.

"Ugh, I know." Disgust can agree on that much at least, "And it's such a dick move of her to be constantly attempting to flirt with Carissa when she's dating Jordan. Like, you're essentially cheating on your boyfriend- get a life, you skank."

"I bet her pussy smells like Indian food."

And on that note both Anger and Disgust are high fiving with an envious sounding cackle.

"Guys, gross! Stop being stop being bitter. It's bad for us!" Like they're about to listen to Fear who's words tremble from his lips, "I-It's not nice. And again, it's gross."

"Oh, come on, lighten up! It's a joke!" Disgust seems to joke a lot in recent days. But then again, the jokes are usually a coping technique for that massive jealousy she tries so hard to hide.


The next day is a beautiful one- the old seventy two degrees and sunny. Riley couldn't as for more perfect birthday weather. It begins with her parents greeting her with a card filled with money, and the breakfast of champions: a yellow cupcake with chocolate icing. She licks the frosting off it before eating it. When breakfast and the conversation dies down, she's out the door and boarding to school. Most of the day she's studious, paying attention in every class, aside from answering the occasional group facebook messages.

Riley Anderson added to the group chat.

Carl Segreti changed the name of the group to The Stoner Birthday Bash

Robert: Lmaoooo damn straight son

Riley: Fuckin idiot lmao

Riley: But for real Jordan you got some or do you need me to message Anthony? He's dealing tonight he said he might stop by too but not til like 10 or 11

Jordan: I've got like a gram I chipped in with Carl and Rob

Riley: Holy shit sweet.

Amanda Elizabeth added to The Stoner Birthday Bash

Amanda: Hey! So how many people? What time can I get a ride from someone?

Jordan: Expecting somewhere between 20-25

Carl: I'll pick you up!

Amanda: Yesss thanks! xx

Jordan: Get a room

Carl: Don't worry Jordan I still love you

Jordan: One doesn't forget their first anal

Riley: Oh my god I hate you two so fucking much

Amanda: Ugh! -_-

Carissa Smith Added The Stoner Birthday Bash

Carissa: So I just texted Claire, the bands cool to come play in your basement tonight Jordan

Riley: Sweet!

Carissa: But Claire wants to know if she can bring her girlfriend? If it's not okay it's cool she won't ask until I let her know

Jordan: It's cool with me you know my basement is pretty big

Riley: I've been dying to meet her she talks about her so much!

Amanda: Is that the one who wears lolita fashion?

Carissa: Yeah she's fuckin hooked man it's too cute she's a softy with her

Jordan: Okay okay tonight at 7. basement entrance is in the back. No coke- I'll rip your throats out, acid and shrooms are fine. BYOB.

Her ninth period class bell rings, and she's smiling to herself. This is a night she's greatly looking forward to. And unlike her middle school days, she won't be standing in front of her mirror with an insecure glance wondering what to wear. She's just fine showing up with her slouched beanie and slightly messy hair. Perfectly content wearing the same skinny jeans, docs, and black t-shirt she'd been wearing all day. What does it matter? Being four years older has taught her that in the long run, none of that stuff really matters as much as she once believed. It's a liberating feeling.

She'll show up earlier than everyone else, wanting to be able to help Jordan set up, move some furniture around and put out snacks; especially considering munchies are bound to happen.

He grins, setting up a folding table in the corner beside the TV, "Thanks for coming to help me out, and I'm so glad your girlfriend's band is playing. I've been listening to their music all week. I got their CD from Punk Island in Catalina last June."

"No problem! After all, the parties sorta for me so it's the least I could do."

"Sorta? Don't be so modest, bro, it's your birthday this is all for you."

"Still, what's with that goofy smile, asshole?"

"I'm just glad we patched shit up years ago, you know?"

That's enough for Riley to smile nice and big.

'Aww, I love Jordan! He's such a great friend!'

'Ugh, just hope he isn't, like, still in love with us'

So she nods, "Me too, and I'm still sorry for all of that."

"For what it's worth...kiiiinda' had a feeling you played for your own team. And I know it was such a dick move ignoring you after that, but I don't regret patching things up. You're like a sister to me now and I'd do anything for you, Riley."

"...Thanks, Jordan." She can't help it, she has to lean over to hug him, patting his back lightly, "You're like a brother. I'm there for you too. No matter what, alright?"

There's a silence for a minute, before it's soon nothing but light laughter as Jordan breaks the silence, "Alright, I'm gonna' put the beers in the fridge, can you just set up the folding chairs in the corner next to where the bands gonna' set up?"

"Yeah, yeah! I got you!"


"People will be arriving soon! So can I get a status, guys?" Joy is confident, sitting in her usual middle seat.

"Well-" Fear is always so alert, "I've already compiled worst case scenarios, "Jensen ignores Jordan and tries to put the moves on Carissa, We smoke a bad batch and end up in the bathroom vomitting, we get way too drunk and black out, therefore mom and dad find us at the hospital and scold us to death- I think other than that we should be good!"

"Yeah, but if we die at least we never have to see Jensen ruin our life." Sadness sighs, hand fixing her glasses.

"I just hope Claire does Scream in the Dark! That song is so angry! It's great! I'm ready to get some anger out." Enough that his head is already smoking, and the evening hasn't even started yet."

"Okay, guys," Disgust will interrupt the status report to direct everyone to the main screens, "People are starting to arrive, so let's get ourselves together for everything."


Riley Andersen used to be a completely different person. For a long time she wasn't crazy about birthdays, hardly wanted any attention drawn to herself. When things were dark, she didn't like who she was. But she has every reason to be proud of herself for coming so far. Out of the closet and confident as all hell. A Junior in high school, greeting everyone at the door with a yooo!, an excited smile, and a pound of her fist. To her, things could never get any worse than they once were. Because she's standing around a crowded basement as it piles up with more and more teenagers who are loud, obnoxious, and nursing beers, ecstatic to be doing all of these things behind all of their parents backs. No, no. Everything is absolutely great, isn't it? Riley Andersen is at her absolute peak. She is the queen, and will never fall off of her throne ever again. Everything is the way it's supposed to be.

But this is just the beginning of so much. Because that's the thing about Riley Andersen. Right now? She can't sit here and tell anyone what happened the day she turned seventeen.