Hey, have you ever noticed that there are a bunch of different Draco's, Harry's, Hermione's and such? We have!! So we decided to put the characters out of their schizophrenic misery... their alter egos shall battle it out... Celebrity Death Match style!! Every chapter will be a different character we'll start with... Draco Malfoy!! -Crowd cheers offstage-



"I want to go visit Ha---rry" Whined Slashy Draco

"Why so you two can indulge in the love that dare not speak it's name?" threw back Snarky Draco

"Love" Sighed Angsty Draco "I wish I could love... but alas I am a Malfoy. Where is my razor?"

"Oh Hermione... My only love sprung from my only hate, to early seen unknown and known to late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me... that I must love a loathed enemy!" Star Crossed Draco whispered

"Guys quit being so bo--------------ring!!" Sugar High Draco yelled.

"Shut the fuck up." Death Eater Draco hissed rubbing his mark

"Quiet... I had a late night... those Patil twins sure are rough on a guy." Slutty Draco mumbled from bed

"You should be nicer... then girls might stay with you!" Fluffy Draco chided

"What and be a bloody pushover like you?" Snarky Draco snapped

"I'm not a pushover... I'm in love." Fluffy Draco said with wide eyes

"With who!? All the girls got fed up with you, they don't like sensitive they like sexy." Slutty Draco said glaring

"Hermione.." Star Crossed Draco sighed

"She's just a mudblood!" Death Eater Draco sneered

"But she was a good fuck." Slutty Draco said

"Take that back!!" Star Crossed Draco yelled

"Why? It's a compliment!" Slutty Draco said

"Not you though that was offensive... Death Eater Draco!" Star Crossed Draco yelled

"NO!" Death Eater Draco yelled

Draco (from the books... regular Draco) held his head whispering over and over "It's not real... they aren't here... it's not real... they aren't here..." he rocked back and forth in a corner of the Slytherin dorms.

"Oh yes they are." Said a voice next to him, he screamed like a little girl then looked at where the voice came from. There stood 2 people. One had chin length black hair with red streaks and was wearing a pair of black shorts, and a baggy white shirt with a black cross, she had on torn fishnets, combat boots, and black leather gloves with no fingers. Next to her was a girl with spiky platinum hair wearing leather pants, a white baggy shirt with a gothic cross design, a leather jacket cross earrings, a bracelet made of crosses, a belt with crosses hanging from it, basically a lot of crosses. She smirked at him, "Are you a Malfoy, a cousin perhaps?" he asked his newest hallucination

"No, you can call me Billy." She said

"Billy, aren't you going to introduce me?" Asked other girl

"Introduce your own damn self" she sneered

"I'm Axel, this bitch is Billy but you already knew that." Axel said pushing Billy who flicked her off.

"What are you two doing here?" Draco asked

"We got sick and god damn tired of there being a million fucking Dracos!" Billy yelled gaining the other Dracos attention.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Death Eater Draco

"Billy not that it's any of your fucking business!" Billy shouted, then she pulled out a pack of smokes. Death Eater Draco eyed her warily, she obviously exploded quite a bit. "Why the hell are you here?" He demeaned, if he could stare down Voldemort she should be a piece of cake.

"There are to many fucking Dracos running around! So you guys are gonna duke out... Celebrity Death Match style." She said grinning. Fluffy Draco started crying at the site of that smile, just about every Draco winced. Death Eater Draco walked over to her noticing she was looking for something, "Need a light?" He asked. She nodded and he lit her smoke "So what's this Celebrity Death Match shit?"

"Basically, you and all the other Dracos fight it out anything goes... to the death." She said smirking.

"I can live with that." he said "I'll just get the other Death Eaters out-"

"No! Just you." Axel said, Billy shrugged.



A/N- That's all for now!! Billy is my nickname... I like it better than Jane, plus that character id based on Billy Idol. Sexy sexy... I have my hair cut like that, and I'm dying it platinum ^_^!! Axel is based on Axel Rose lead singer of Guns 'N Roses!! That's Crystal!