Breaking Free
"Are you sure we're going to do this?" I ask nervously looking up at her from the duvet.
The sun is shining into the room from a gap in the curtains.
It's hitting her hair and framing her face perfectly.
She's got a slight angelic look about her right now.
She was definitely not angelic if you'd have seen her a few minutes ago.
Definitely not, considering what she was doing to me.
"Yeah, I'm sure." She says it confidently.
A little too confidently, I think.
I begin to judge myself for feeling nervous about it.
She seems to know what I'm thinking, as she reaches a hand out, and carefully strokes the hair from my face.
"It's going to be okay."
I feel my breathing start to relax in my chest as she reassures me.
My heart decides to stop pounding against my chest, thankfully.
"That's better" She says after a few minutes of silence.
"What is?" I ask nervously and slightly dumbfounded.
"Your heart has calmed down a bit. You've relaxed a bit." She added with a smile and a kiss to my forehead.
"You could feel it?"
"Yeah, there's no need to be worried though, Em. It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay."
"It's obviously not okay, Naomi." I say getting wound up by her calm and disconcerting attitude.
"Em…"
I cut her off before she has another chance to tell me that I'm worrying over nothing.
"The way everyone reacted, Naomi. We're definitely not okay." I tell her referring to the reaction after the love ball.
"That's why we're leaving, Em. It doesn't matter what they say about us."
"If it doesn't matter, why are we going?"
"Do you want yesterday to happen, every single day, Em?"
"Well…I…no…but…"
Yesterday was a complete disaster.
It was the first day back at college since the Love Ball.
Obviously, we were both dreading it.
We knew it wouldn't go unnoticed, but we didn't think it would go as bad as it did.
It started with the funny looks and whispering as per normal.
Naomi was used to it since Katie spread that she was a 'muff munching bitch' her words not mine.
Naomi really didn't care about the comments.
She was mainly worried about me, and how I'd take it.
Then the laughing started as we walked through the halls.
Naomi really took control.
She took my hand and got me to ignore it.
I was on the verge of tears at one point.
During the lunchtime we took a walk down the school fields and sat down into the clearing away from the prying eyes.
Naomi knew I was on the verge of breaking down.
She kissed my forehead, and held me.
That's all I needed to feel strong again.
It was as if at that moment all of Naomi's energy and confidence had sunk into my body.
At that moment, I honestly didn't care what the rest of them said or thought.
All I care about is me and my baby.
And that's how it's going to stay.
After lunch was when the problems started.
We were fine in the morning because we had Cook in our lessons.
He'd pretty much protect us from anyone.
He's changed a lot since he came back from….wherever he went.
He and the rest of the gang were really cool about me and Naomi, surprisingly.
Even Katie.
Anyways, that afternoon I had Art last lesson.
By myself.
Naomi had politics and Cook and the rest of the gang had a free period, so they headed to the pub.
Naomi knew I was nervous about last lesson, so she took off her necklace and gave it for me to wear.
So I'd know she was there with me. That her confidence was there with me.
But the minute I walked into the room, the laughter and the bitching started.
We had just started life drawing so we had a model sat in the room.
Some smartass made some comment about that she has to keep her clothes on…I can't really remember…
I wasn't paying too much attention at that point.
I ended up walking out.
Burst into tears and hid in the bathroom until I was supposed to meet Naomi.
I left 5 minutes before, so she wouldn't be suspicious.
I think she could tell my eyes were all red and fuzzy.
She could tell something was wrong so she gave me a hug.
She can always tell.
She's amazing like that.
Some guy walked past, and made a smart assed comment.
Needless to say he resulted with a swift kick to the testicles.
Noone messes with my girl!
Yesterday was pretty bad.
Today is probably going to get much much worse.
Naomi's been called in for a meeting with the head director.
She's not bothering going in today.
Neither of us are.
We're leaving.
"Okay. Go get packed and sorted, and I'll pick you up in a few hours."
"Nai…what do we tell them? My family…our friends…your mum…"
"We'll leave a letter for your family and for mum…and…I don't know. We'll keep in touch with the others."
"Is this the right thing to do?"
"Em, do you want us to be together…properly…just us….just me and you forever."
"Yeah, Nai of course I do…but…"
"Then go back Em…" She brings her hands up to my face and kisses my lips firmly "and pack"
She pulls aways, but in the heat of the moment, I don't let her.
Moving my body closer, I bring my hands down and link fingers with hers.
It's perfect.
We're perfect.
I grab a pen and the scribble a letter on the back of an envelope I found in Katie's drawer.
Mum, Dad, Katie and James,
I've gone.
By the time you read this, I'd have already left.
Truth is; we can't deal with this.
The silent mocking, the laughter, bitching.
So we've gone. Somewhere no-one will know us. Somewhere we wont get judged.
Mum, you need to accept this. It's not a choice I made. It's who I am. You need to deal or I won't ever be coming home.
Dad, thank you for everything. We appreciate you helping us as best as you could.
I'm sorry I caused so many arguments between you both. I didn't mean to ruin things for you. But I know I'm a massive reason on why you guys are thinking about divorce.
Katie, you know how I feel. You know why I did it. I love you. You're my sister and my best friend. Theres no point in me telling you how I feel because you already know! You already feel it.
James, I'm sorry mate. (p.s. present for you in the secret place :-) ) And you can have all of my playstation games. 3.
I'll be back someday when things have died down. For now, we can't deal with this.
Thank you for everything.
Love, Emsy. Xxx
I throw a few choice clothes into my bag, and pick up my essentials.
Carrying the heavy bag downstairs, the sound of the car horn emanates through the house.
Knocking a photograph of the side of the cabinet brings me to a halt.
I pick it up, and look at it.
My eyes misting over.
I shove it into my bag, and make my way to the front door.
Taking one last look at the house I grew up in, I turn and slam the door shut before posting my house keys back through the letter box.
