A/N I'm taking a break from "To Be Myself" because my muse has left me. Sorry about that; I'll pick it back up as soon as I can. Here's something different (for me). Jen's always intrigued me, and here's my take on what happened when she found out she was pregnant with Amy. Not sure where this one is going, so please just come along for the ride, and, as always, let me know what you think. Reviews make my day!

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Jennifer Lindley didn't remember the last time she had actually needed a drink, but she needed one now. And, her life being what it was, the irony was right there waiting to smack her in the face as it had been for most of the major events, both good and bad, of her twenty-five years. She couldn't have one. Drinking, it seemed, would be off-limits for quite a while. Drinking, along with every other vice that she could think of at the moment, the ones that gave her pleasure or comfort or served as temporary patches for her wounds. Vices were off-limits for another seven months, at least.

She rolled over on her back and stared at the shadow-laced ceiling, her hand resting lightly on her still-smooth belly. The flesh was flat, soft under her palm. And warm. That was good, because she felt cold. The coldness seemed to radiate from her heart outward, filling up every cell in her body and making her feel empty. Funny, how you could feel so empty when there was another person growing inside of you. But it was good that her belly was warm to the touch. She had been worried the baby would feel the cold that had seeped into her bones.

"Baby." She said the word aloud, experimentally. "My baby." It sounded strange in the emptiness of her bedroom, hovering in the air, reverberating, heavy with meaning. She almost laughed.

Her hand went to the phone on her nightstand, and she picked it up and stared contemplatively at the glowing keypad. It was so tempting to dial the numbers that her fingers had come to know so well, the numbers that would bring his voice to her ears, allow him to apologize, give him another chance. "Another chance to what?" she asked herself. To take it back, her mind answered for her. To fix it. To dislodge the knife from her heart and mend the gaping hole he'd left there.

"Wow, Jen, we're going to have a baby? Well that's wonderful news! In fact, that's the best damn news I've ever heard! Let's get married. Let's be a family. Let's toss aside our insecurities and immaturities and fears of perpetuating the cycle of broken homes that our own parents instilled in us and rejoice in this blessed event. I can't wait!"

Was that what she had expected? Well, no. She knew him better than that. But not well enough, evidently. Not nearly well enough.

She didn't dial those numbers that her fingers were itching to press. Instead she dialed eleven of them that were equally familiar and infinitely more comforting, and she listened as the phone rang miles away, connecting her to the place where she'd left a good portion of herself, and to the person with whom she'd left it.

When he answered she let out a sigh of relief. She had been almost sure he wouldn't be there. "Jack. It's me."

"Hi beautiful! I was beginning to think you'd forgotten all about me now that you've got the big job in the big city. What's going on?"

"Well, I'm pregnant. Other than that?"

Silence on the other end. She smiled into the phone, picturing the look on his face as clearly as if he were standing in front of her.

"Are you...is that...Jen, are you kidding?"

"Have you ever known me to have a sense of humor? Of course I'm not kidding. What do you think about that, Uncle Jacky?"

"I'm speechless!" he exclaimed. "I mean...pregnant? Jen! Are you okay? I mean, are you...?"

She laughed in spite of herself, feeling the grip of the coldness loosen its hold a little. "I'm good. I'm fine."

"Well then, oh man! I don't know what to say. Congratulations! Wow!"

Smiling, trying to keep her tone light and playful, she went on. "Next question, do you want to run away to Vegas and make an honest woman out of me? We can have one of those open marriages; I hear they work well for gay men stuck in dead-end relationships with straight women."

In the silence that followed, Jack heard what she wasn't telling him. "You talked to him about this?" he asked, his voice tight.

"Yep. He was...surprised, shall we say?" She felt her smile falter and bit down on her bottom lip, struggling to keep up the dry wit. "I mean, it's a big thing to lay on someone after a long day at work. It was an issue of timing, really. I have bad timing."

"Jen, stop kidding around. This is me. What did he say?"

"He said he loves me, and that he wants the best for me," she said, smiling again as the tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes. "And that he is very, very certain that having a baby is not...well...in the cards. At least not now. At least not for us. He'll pay for the procedure. He said that, Jack. He said 'procedure,' can you believe that?"

"Bastard. What in the hell is his--"

"No, don't do that," she scolded softly, struggling to keep evidence of the tears out of her voice. "That's not why I called you."

"I'm sorry, Jen, but it's hard for me to just sit here and listen to you tell me about this jerk and not add any editorial commentary."

"Please."

"Okay. What do you need from me? I can be there in the morning. Tonight, even, if I leave right away. You want me to come?"

She smiled again. "That's very sweet, Jackers, but that's not necessary. I'm fine. You've got work."

"Summer school's no big deal. I can find a sub. Jen, I'm worried about you."

"I know. But I was thinking about coming out there for a few days. I just need to get out of this city for a while, you know? Do you think I could stay with you and Doug?"

"What, are you kidding? You don't have to ask."

"I'll leave in the morning," she said, biting her thumbnail distractedly. She really hadn't considered going back to Capeside until the words were out of her mouth. Now it sounded like the best idea she'd ever had. It was her home. It was home to the best friends she'd ever had. It was far away from David Marshall. And that's where she needed to be right now.

"Be careful, Jen. I'll see you soon."

"Okay, I love you."

They hung up and she lay back down on the bed, thinking about Capeside. She fell asleep to an image--part memory, part dream--of her friends, all of them, at the beach on a beautifully mild fall day. Sixteen and full of hope, of laughter, of teenage angst and ambition, of things they thought they knew and all the right words to back it up...What a group they had been. In her sleep, sixteen felt better than it ever had in real life.