Title:
RenaissanceAuthor:
DenderaRating:
GSummary:
A prequel to Final Fantasy X-2. Yuna and Lulu find themselves confronted with an important decision: whether to let go or hold onto of the past. Yuna/Tidus, Lulu/Wakka.Disclaimer:
The characters of Final Fantasy X do not belong to me, but rather to the very rich folks at Square-Enix. However, this story is my creation, and as such, I request that you do not take it or reproduce it in any way without my permission. If you really want it, you have simply to ask.Dedication:
There are few people as pure, good, and self-sacrificing as Yuna. My friend Kami is one of them. This one's for you, lady ;)I dream of you, to wake: would that I might
Dream of you and not wake but slumber on…
Christina Rossetti
She stands solitary, alone on the temple grounds. The rain has soaked her hair, caused her clothing to melt against her graceful frame, a second skin that does nothing to keep out the pain. There is no barrier between her, the earth, the sky. The wind stirs in the treetops above as the clouds continue to weep. All of Spira inhales the sorrow, allowing it to seep into the very pores of the land. Through suffering her people are saved, through tears they are made whole. The sacrifice—his sacrifice—has renewed them all. Rivulets of water stream down her face, the chill of which, a sharp reminder of the fact that she's still here, alive. The Calm has come; he has given her the chance to see it. Even though the gift came at a high price.
She curves a hand around the pendant that never leaves her neck, clutching it close. The rain continues; she doesn't seem to mind.
Wakka glances out of the hut's flap for what is probably the fifth time in the last ten minutes. He can't help it; even before he became an official guardian, he had always felt a brotherly concern for the Summoner's daughter. A lot has happened to her since they first began their long and perilous trek toward her destiny in Zanarkland; too much of a load for one person to bare. He reckons that she has been out there for at least an hour. It'll be dark soon.
He glances to his companion, a stunning, ebon-haired woman who sits quietly at the other end of the room. "She been out there a long time, ya? Think we ought to check on her?"
Lulu stirs at the sound of his voice, but her eyes never leave the object in her lap. He can't make it out at first, but she seems to be turning it over and over in her hands, a comforting motion. "Yuna will come back when she's ready," she answers calmly. "Only time will heal her wounds."
Wakka sighs heavily, exasperated with the possibility of a situation he cannot fix. "But maybe she needs someone to talk to. Maybe she's out there waiting."
This time she looks up, her face solemn. "Yuna knows that we're here for her whenever she needs us. But right now, I imagine she wants to be alone. I can respect that."
"Yeah, but—"
"You should too, Wakka."
They fall silent for a moment, listening to the sound of the rain beating against the side of the hut. He notices that she is fidgeting again and squints to see what it is that she has in her hands.
"What you got there?" He asks reflexively, eager to break the oppressive silence.
Lulu holds the trinket up to catch the dim light. It appears it be a simple bronze band; she examines it, garnet eyes flickering fondly. "Does it look familiar?"
Wakka leans forward to get a better look. "Looks like a ring," he says with a shrug.
"Yes, Chappu gave it to me long ago."
He feels the lump in his throat and tries to force it back down. Any mention of Chappu usually induces this a reaction. Above all, there is the guilt, but also regret and the hollow emptiness of loss. And there is something else. Wakka knows that he will never be the man Chappu was; not to her, not to anyone. It makes him realize that his brother is truly gone.
She doesn't seem to expect anything from him, so he remains quiet as she resumes her reverie. "We thought we would marry once he returned, when the war was over," Lulu explains in a lulling tone. Her voice has a steady pattern to it, like the rolling of waves. He finds himself almost transfixed.
"I thought he was overly sentimental when he gave me this ring, and told him so," she continues in a musing fashion. The ring rests motionless in her palm now. "I told him that I didn't need it. His promise was enough."
Wakka runs a hand through his flame-colored hair; he feels awkward now, oafish. Chappu was the charmer, the one with the ability to win people over with a mere smile. He had words on his side, charisma. Wakka knows he has neither.
"Chappu loved you, Lu. He would've kept his promise." He isn't sure what else to say. She has always made it painfully clear that his brother was the better man. He never bothers to deny it.
Lulu offers a half-smile, an unexpected alteration from her usual dark looks. She curls a fist around the ring and slowly rises to her feet. "I know." She doesn't say it in condescension, but rather with complete sincerity. "I have no doubts, and because of that, no regret."
He watches as she moves purposefully toward a small table, lifting the lid of an ornate wooden box. She releases her grip; the ring spills inside
"Loss is always difficult, and everyone handles their own differently. Yuna has just lost her calling, her beliefs—"
Wakka bows his head at the reminder. He can still see the final expression on the young man's face, one of infinite sadness, as they watched him fade into shadow. "And the kid…"
Lulu nods her understanding. "She may feel the need to spend some time on her own. It took me a long time, as well. But I dealt with my grief in a different way."
He finds that he can sit no longer. Standing suddenly, he crosses the space between him. "Look, Lu," he turns the words over in his mouth, as if trying them out. "Nobody blamed you, an' nobody's gonna blame Yuna. It's like you said, people gotta deal with their grief in their own way—"
She finds herself moved by the simplicity of his speech, his generous and unassuming nature. "I was unkind to you, Wakka, and for that, I apologize."
By the befuddled expression on his face, she can tell that he is unprepared for the conversation's turn. He rubs the back of his head for a moment and then gestures feebly. "It's nothing like that," Wakka chivalrously attempts to defend her, "You just had a lot on your mind, ya? First Chappu…and then Yuna's decision to take the pilgrimage; that's too much for anyone to handle."
Lulu regards him thoughtfully. Once she considered the two brothers to be complete opposites. Chappu was daring, adventurous, and teeming with life, while Wakka maintained the unrelenting figure of tradition and authority. But now she understands that for all of their polarities, they are like different sides of the same mirror, ultimately reflecting the same goodness. Like Chappu, Wakka has a strong heart. She has seen proof of it throughout their travels together; both in his devote loyalty to Yuna and bravery in battle. Wakka may not a copy of his brother, but she has finally come to accept it as an attribute, not a weakness.
"The same could be said for you," she reminds him simply.
"But I had people there for me, ya? My friends, the Aurochs…" he falters for a second, and it's then that she notices the faint blush that has risen to his cheeks. "I had you, Lu."
She tenderly replaces the lid of the box. Chappu's memory will rest there, in a quiet corner of her heart. Her future is waiting for her; the Calm has finally come. Now is the chance for hope, for new beginnings. She doesn't intend to waste it.
Lulu smiles to herself. "Yes, you have me."
Yuna feels her limbs beginning to grow numb under the weight of the unrelenting water. It drips from her billowing sleeves, the pleats of her skirt, puddling around her feet. Where the tears end and the rain begins, she can no longer tell. Yet there is relief in her vulnerability, now that she has been stripped of her defenses, naked against the elements and her own pain. With it comes a certain awareness, that she is free to feel however she chooses, free to live her own life; even though it must be without him. She recognizes that a part of her has faded with Tidus, and the double loss is unbearable. Both he and the laughing, adventurous girl, with the flashing mismatched eyes are gone. Where does her future lie? What is she left with, besides a past full of lies and a handful of splintered hopes?
I have myself. The thought is strong; ringing with a resolute logic that is not unlike her mentor Auron.She finds that his voice is yet with her, she can hear him still. I have my memories. I must not let them go.
But the sorrow seems unrelenting; it builds in her throat, a suffocating force. There is nothing left for her now, not even the once-precious teachings of Yevon can carry her from this place. It seems so wrong, so unkind to have been blessed with love, only to have it torn away. How can she resign herself to such an empty fate?
I won't. The answer is simple and strikes her as such. I won't give up. I owe that much to Tidus, to Sir Auron. There are answers out there; she feels sure, answers that will ultimately lead her to knowledge of him. And perhaps she'll be able to learn more about herself, her own potential, along the way. Yuna isn't certain of the road to travel or which course to take, but she is convinced of one thing. I will find Tidus. I won't rest until I know what's become of him.
The rain is letting up, becoming a thin drizzle as the clouds roll overhead. She lifts her eyes, scanning the horizon. The gray sea churns; night looms near. Despite the drab and forlorn scene, Yuna finds herself smiling. This storm is only one moment, a blip in an eternity. Her beautiful island of Besaid will emerge lush and green in the morning, the sun warming the placid waters and golden beaches. She too will wake renewed, made new through the passing tempest of her grief. Tomorrow she will begin her quest, a different Yuna for a different world. A life of endless possibilities.
As she descends the platform, there is a spring in her step. Wakka and Lulu must be terribly worried about her, and she's eager to get back. There is much to tell, and she believes they will be supportive about her decision. It's about time she saw Spira through the eyes of a young woman, not a Summoner.
Approaching the familiar hut, she pauses to peer through the doorway. What she finds brings a most-welcome comfort to her soul. The blitzball player holds Lulu in his arms, her head against his shoulder in a moment of rare intimacy. Yuna allows herself a giddy smile before she turns the in direction of the beach. Maybe she'll take a little walk before heading back; she doesn't want to disturb anything.
Grinning, she hurries down the path with newly discovered enthusiasm. She passes over the bridge and breaks into a run, bounding down the small hill and racing to the ocean's edge.
Yuna stands at the shoreline and placing her fingers to her parted lips, whistles loudly, just the way he showed her. I'm coming, wait for me, she wills silently. Her whistle catches the wind, which scatters the sound.
Somewhere, she knows, he can hear her.
Fin
