Unattainable Crush
Kalin Kessler was struck by her beauty the moment he met her. Her soft smile put him at some sort of ease. The two talked occasionally, but the young man knew there was no way a woman like her would go for a guy like him.
The first time he realized she was looking at him, Kalin tried to act calm and collected. However there was no hiding the fact that she knew all about his past. She was told about the horrific, menacing crimes he had committed when he was younger. She even saw him with his dark eyes...maybe once or twice.
No matter how hard Kalin tried, he could not stop looking at her. Her smooth body, dazzling eyes and perfect movements always left him wanting more. When he did get a chance to speak to her, the words that flowed from her mouth were polite and strung with a slight understanding. That was a shock, especially coming from a woman like her.
There were a few more things that stopped Kalin from ever giving her a true smile. Their ages separated them. Their backgrounds could not have been more different. She lived on a level of society that Kalin could only dream of. Sometimes she did not even acknowledge his presence.
But the worst of all, she was still in love with someone else. She felt a kind of idol love for another man. Poor Kalin felt that same idol love for her. The only man she ever looked at with longing eyes was a man she had been infatuated with for some time. To add on to it, Kalin was sure other men had the same feelings for her that he had. He could not blame those men, only resent them.
She made Kalin feel like a child, a child who had a crush on his babysitter. He knew he would never have her, but he could not seem to shake his new feelings for her. Whenever he visited his old friends from Satellite, she would show up. He would get so tung tied with her in the room, he would want to slam his head against a wall. Kalin never had true feelings for a girl before, so that made things even harder.
They were alone in a room one time. Neither of them realized how they had gotten there, but a small conversation struck up. Kalin tried to hint a form of admiration he felt towards her, but she must have been to preoccupied to notice.
Kalin tried to sculpt his words to hint at her that he thought she was beautiful, and smart, and irresistible and something he could never have. She did not hear him though. He was not at all on her radar. Why would he be?
One day, Kalin had enough of sitting on the sidelines watching his life go by. He already did that once and he was not about to do that again. He was going to retake control of his life. That meant telling her what he had been hiding ever since they first met. But she was busy.
He went to go find Crow instead. He had to get his mind off her. Still, there was no way in hell that he was going to tell any of them about what he was feeling. Kalin could already picture their faces, blank and confused. Crow was more than happy to spend sometime with his old team leader. Things had been hectic for him, getting his kids settled, finding a job, managing a home and dealing with Jack's nonsense. Still, the younger man noticed his childhood friend was not acting the way everyone thought he would be once everything got back to normal.
Crow guessed and guessed about what was on Kalin's mind. Kalin just rolled his eyes and told his friend that he planned to deal with it and move on with his life. That earned him a smile and get-a-move-on-it motion.
Kalin was ready to just let everything out. It did not matter if she thought he was crazy or wanted to kiss him. Kissing her. Her smooth lips brushing against his would send his mind in a spiral. He started to think about how much he adored her. He did not know all that much about her, but that did not really matter to him.
He daydreamed the whole day away, until she was standing right in front of him.
"Oh...hi Kalin. Nice to see you again." Those words were golden, but at the same time, poison to maintaining his rugged image.
"It's nice to see you too. I see you're doing really well." He hated their small talk.
"I'm as busy as ever. Sometimes I wish I could just push it all away and relax for awhile."
Kalin shook his head. Better to get it over with fast, before he makes a bigger fool out of himself. "Look. This might sound crazy, but I'm...attracted to you. I thought it was just a passing thing, but every time you come around I keep having feelings for you."
She stood there, almost in shock. There must have been no way of her to expect this. "You're serious?"
"Absolutely. The sad part is, I know I will never have you or even get your full attention for that matter. I'm just a naive kid. Just break my heart already, so I can get on with my life."
The woman tried to find words to say, but she was speechless. Until, a memory came to mind. "I know how you feel...having feelings for someone and they barely even look over their shoulder for you. You know you'll never have them." She looked down, thinking of someone else.
"Thank you." Kalin quietly said to her.
She looked up. "For what?"
"For helping me finally get over my first unattainable crush." Kalin took a step towards her and leaned in. He kissed her on the check, making blush a deep red. Who did this kid think he was? He whispered something into her ear. He wanted to remind her that she deserved so much more.
Kalin walked away, with the same confident walk he had before he lost himself. Kalin Kessler was finally back and ready to take the life that what was his.
He smirked. "Thanks, Mina."
