A/N: I have no idea what this even is. I had this idea at like six this morning and couldn't fall back asleep until I wrote it down. So, yeah. Hope everyone likes this weird little texting one-shot.

Jade's texts are in the italics, and Beck's are in bold. Hopefully this isn't crazy confusing.

Enjoy?

Ninja Level

Why the fuck were you talking to Meredith?

What are you talking about?

I saw you guys in the hallway together!

Oh, she was asking me about an assignment for chemistry.

Yeah, I just bet she was!

?

So asking you about an assignment requires physical contact now?

Ummm, maybe? Why? You want to ask me something? ;)

Ugh, you wish. Do NOT use that stupid winky face at me. And WHY did she have her hand on your arm?

What-what are you talking about? When?

In the hallway! Like fifteen minutes ago!

You know, your stalking levels are really improving. I'm impressed.

Thank you. I just recently reached ninja level stalker status.

Impressive. But I still don't get how…..aren't you in vocal rehearsal right now?

So?

So how would you know that Meredith and I ever even had a conversation in the hallway today?

I have my ways. And DON'T change the subject!

Ways? What ways?

A ninja level stalker never reveals their secrets.

Jade!

It's in the code book. Which you aren't allowed to see. Or even know about. Shit! I've said too much already! Now I will have to kill you. I will really miss you, but...Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.

Maybe Meredith was right.

Highly doubtful.

She said I should stop by her dad's bakery anytime- but not to bring my crazy with me.

Meaning?

Meaning you aren't welcome. No shirts, no shoes, no Jade West. It's on the sign out front.

Jade West is allowed in any establishment she chooses to bless with her presence.

Where did you get this pic?

If you must know it was sent to me by one of my faithful minions.

Faithful?

Faithful. Terrified. Same thing.

How the hell did someone send this to you?

Ninja Level! I will never reveal my secrets! And don't change the subject! She has her hands on you and you are smiling-SMILING- at her!

So I should scowl at her like you do?

That would be preferable.

But then I will get wrinkles.

Oh! So now you are calling me a wrinkly old woman?!

I never said you were old.

Beck!

Kidding. WHY are you all cuddled up to Andre in this pic you just sent me? What the hell is going on in your vocal rehearsal right now?

Wouldn't you like to know. Too bad you don't have my stalking skills. Then you would be able to find out for yourself.

His arm's around you and….and why are you looking at him like that?!

I'm just smiling.

That isn't okay.

YOU'RE the one who said I was getting wrinkly from all the scowling I do.

Okay, okay. I get it.

Get what? I would furrow my brow in confusion, but you know. Wrinkles. Crow's feet would not look good on a stalker ninja.

You know what? I just figured something out.

Oh? Please tell me kind sir.

Must you act like this?

I am on the edge of my seat in anticipation. Please impart your wisdom and knowledge with me, so I may continue learning from the Book of Beck.

I'm a little stupid.

You're just now figuring this out?

And you're a little crazy.

Only a little?

We should probably work on that.

Maybe…

Maybe?

But this is way more fun. I kinda love it just the way we are.

Awww….you do love me.

Ninja level stalkers aren't allowed to love.

Then why do you stalk?

For various reasons.

It's because you love me.

That's debatable.

Jade!

A/N: Please review. :) I was thinking of maybe doing more of these if a random idea hits again. What do you think? (If I do make this a series of one shots, I will probably change the title. Just an FYI.)