"Simply put, morale is low these days," Nanao said, hands splayed against the surface of the table. She wasn't sitting down like everyone else, which meant this was serious business. Or so Yachiru supposed, but she couldn't be bothered anyway, as she had candy to gobble up.
Nanao's eyes skimmed over the women seated at the table and she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I know we've all been affected by the recent events and I think, as members of the Shinigami Women's Association, it is our duty to raise the spirits of both ourselves and those around us." She glanced from face to face. "Any ideas?"
"Alcohol," Rangiku spoke up after a moment of silence. She nodded as she sat slouched, her chin propped on her hand. "What?" she mumbled, frowning at the glares she was receiving. "It works for Izuru and Shuuhei."
Nanao scoffed at that. "There is to be no alcohol involved. We can't chance someone getting out of hand."
"Why not?" Rangiku asked, brow furrowed. "That might be just what some of us need."
"I personally find ikebana very relaxing," said Retsu. "I would be willing to give a few free lessons to those interested."
For a long moment they all looked at each other, none of them wanting to offer the wrong suggestions, which seemed to be different for everyone.
"Well..." began Momo, sighing. Dark crescents framed her lower lids and her skin was still unnaturally pale. It was the first association meeting she'd attended since the incident. "Each division could bake cookies and we could have a cookie exchange."
Rangiku closed her eyes as Yachiru nodded excessively and took a deep breath to begin a squeal.
"That didn't work out so well last time," Nanao said, recalling Momo's contribution of glasses-shaped sugar cookies. She cleared her throat as Yachiru let out a whoosh of disappointment.
"I still say a bottle of saké for everyone would raise a lot of morale," Rangiku said, looking to Nemu. "For nearly everyone."
Momo glanced past Kiyone, to Rukia. "Everyone likes cookies."
Rukia nodded. "But the men have to participate, and I don't think many of them can bake."
A round of agreeing nods went around the room.
Nanao stood up. "It has to be something the men will agree to, or at least can be forced into doing. Personally, I don't want to eat anything most of them have cooked."
"Besides, most of them would just buy the cookies anyway," Isane said. Beside her Retsu nodded. "That's not very inventive, and the mindset here is just as important as the -"
"That's it!" Rangiku cried, startling Yachiru into something less than a smile for a brief second. "We can take everyone's minds off of ... things," she said carefully, "by focusing on each other. We can play Hidden Santa!"
Soi Fon's brow furrowed. "Hidden what?"
Nanao grimaced a bit as she adjusted her glasses. "I'm not sure what that is, exactly, but -"
"It's perfectly harmless," Rangiku assured, waving her hand aimlessly. "Humans in the Living World do it all the time."
"So..." Isane began, clutching at her tea cup, "what is it?"
"Hidden Santa," Rangiku said again, sitting straighter. Then, she paused, frowning slightly. "No, wait. Secret Santa! Yeah, that's it. Secret Santa..."
"Santa's the one that gives away presents, right?" Rukia asked suddenly, brightening at the subject.
Rangiku gave a fervent nod and snapped her fingers. "Bingo."
Kiyone looked between the two, the bewilderment evident on her face. "Who? What?"
"Santa Claus," Rukia replied.
"Once a year, there's this guy who runs around all of the Living World and gives out presents for free," Rangiku said, sitting back in her chair. "His name's Santa Claus and they even have a holiday for him and everything."
Yachiru listened on in wide-eyed amazement, her mouth hanging open.
"That sounds a little... incorrect," Nanao said quietly, skepticism raising.
"So what does that have to do with any of this, anyway?" asked Soi Fon.
"I'm getting to that." Rangiku wagged a finger at her. "So every year, the humans celebrate this thing called 'Christmas'. They buy each other gifts and stuff. Now, to make it more fun, there's this game that they play called 'Secret Santa'."
"Where'd you learn this from?"
"Orihime Inoue. Now stop interrupting." Clearing her throat, she sat forward again. "So, what they do is a gift exchange amongst themselves."
The expressions looking back at her were mixed, mostly blank, a few clearly confused.
"Well, from what Orihime told me," Rangiku said, assuming command as Nanao slowly took her seat, "we all put our names in a hat and then we pass the -"
"Whose hat?" Yachiru asked, eyes widening.
"It doesn't matter whose hat," Rangiku said, "but just a hat. Any hat. And then we all draw the names out and whoever's name you draw is the person you've got to buy a gift for. And it's a secret. You can't tell anyone whose name you have," she said, looking at Yachiru. "It's a secret."
Yachiru nodded. "A secret."
Nanao was wearing a look of near dread. She shook her head. "You know what will happen. The male captains will just make their vice-captains do the shopping."
"But they won't be able to do that," Retsu said. "It's a secret gift."
Now Soi Fon shook her head. "Do you know how big this hat will have to be to hold everyone in Soul Society's names?"
Nemu cocked her head to one side. "To hold everyone's name from Soul Society will require a hat with a capacity of 4.2 liters."
"...Oh, well, maybe something a little smaller," Isane said slowly as her captain laughed.
"Maybe we can include just the captains and vice-captains," Rukia said. "If goodwill begins at the top, it can spread down to the lower ranks."
The rest of the women watched her for a full moment.
"I'd like to see goodwill trickle in any direction out of Sixth Division," Soi Fon said.
"How far could that trickle go if it starts with Captain Kuchiki?" Kiyone said.
Rukia shot her a look.
Kiyone shrugged. "I mean, he's not very ..." No words she could use came to mind. "And Renji isn't ...very..."
Rukia nodded in agreement this time. "Okay. I get it."
"I think First Division would like to sit this frivolity out," Retsu said, nodding at the other women as they each looked to her. "With their position in leadership, I can tell you with all certainty that the Captain-General will want to take some time to reflect and propose his own plan of reaction to the recent circumstances. It's only proper. He's already canceled this month's tea ceremony."
Most of the members turned to each other with whispered talk of the Gotei 13's ancient founder. Beside Retsu, Soi Fon was mumbling amongst herself. Retsu heard part of it.
"But I think your division, especially," she told the petite head of security, "needs a bolster in spirit."
Before Soi Fon could react with her usual acidity, Retsu continued. "With three of our strongest captains betraying the ranks en masse, your leadership in displaying a positive front is particularly important. Don't you think?"
Soi Fon's natural response was typically a resounding No, but the Fourth Division leader's notorious calm could be as persuasive as any punishment Soi Fon could mete out, and she instead found herself nodding.
"Perhaps that's best," she allowed, her voice low as the other women chatted about the topic at hand. Her sharp eyes shifted to a few of the members most damaged by the captains' mutiny, resting on Rukia, Momo, and Rangiku only briefly. "Me and my Vice-Captain," she added dourly, "will cooperate in the exchange."
"Good. Thank you, Soi Fon." Retsu turned to Rangiku, her voice rising to its normal level. "I think the gift exchange is a starting point. If it's a secret, the men would have to do the buying themselves."
Rangiku nodded, warming again to the idea. "And I think we should fill in the empty Gotei 13 positions, make it as true as we can."
The rest of the women watched her for a moment, waiting for something else to follow.
Finally Isane said what most of them were thinking. "You want to fill in the three vacant spots, Rangiku?"
For a few heavy seconds it looked like Rangiku was going to fail at smiling, but then she nodded. "Yes. We can have Shuuhei and Izuru step up as captains for the exchange, and Momo, of course," she said delicately to the smaller girl looking hopefully to her. "And we need a few other substitutes. How about... hm, who?"
"Kenny!" Yachiru squealed.
"Captain Zaraki is already a captain, sweetie," Retsu said.
"Baldy!" Yachiru followed immediately, clapping her candy-sticky hands together. "And Yun-Yun!"
"Alright then," Nanao said, rolling her eyes. "Is everyone is agreed to Ikkaku and Yumichika?"
There was a general murmuring of agreement around the room.
"One more," Nanao said, searching for ideas among the members. "One more..."
All eyes were on Rukia as she ate the last sesame cracker from the center plate.
"Rukia?" Nanao asked.
Rukia blinked, cracker halfway in her mouth. "Hm?"
"Now that's done, let's pick names!" Yachiru shouted as she pumped her fist into the air, nearly knocking Nemu on the head.
"We have to write them down first," Nanao said, carefully peeling away one sheet of paper from the largely untouched stack that she kept at her seat. "And then divide them up to put into the hat." She materialized a pen from somewhere within the deep confines of her shihakusho sleeve and began jotting down names.
"How long do we have to get the presents?" asked Momo.
At that, Rangiku frowned, brow knit.
"We should exchange them on Christmas," Rukia offered. "So we have until then."
"When is Christmas, anyway?" Rangiku wondered aloud.
"The twenty-fifth of December."
"But what's that in our calendar?"
"According to my calculations, thirteen days remain until Christmas," Nemu said with a blank stare.
"Thirteen days?" Isane echoed. "That sounds doable."
"We have to keep it secret for thirteen days?" Momo murmured, a worried look crossing her features.
Rangiku nodded. "That's right. Only after everyone's opened their gifts on Christmas can we reveal whose name we had."
"That's a long time," Kiyone grumbled.
"You'll probably end up spilling the beans to Sentarou," Rukia said teasingly, jostling her elbow.
"I will not."
"The list is finished," said Nanao, and had barely lifted her fingers from the paper when Yachiru snatched it away and slid it across the table. It landed squarely in front of Soi Fon.
Yachiru beamed at her. "Use Suzumebachi to cut them up."
Soi Fon shot up from her seat. "Listen, you -"
"Now, now," Retsu said from beside her, calm and composed as always. She gracefully glided a cup of tea her way. "Have some chamomile. It's quite soothing."
A tense moment passed before Soi Fon complied and sat down again, quietly sipping her tea.
With her precision skills, Nemu hand-tore each name on the paper into a perfectly rectangular slip of paper in no more than eighteen seconds. Yachiru clapped and asked for an encore, but Nanao was quick to squash the idea.
"Now we need a hat..." Rangiku mumbled, glancing around the nearly barren room. Others started to do the same until Yachiru launched herself from her chair and dashed towards the door.
"No worries! I know where to find one!" she cried before throwing the door open and disappearing into Byakuya's mansion.
"I wish he'd stop feeding her so many sweets," Nanao said with a sigh as she sank into her seat.
Rangiku nodded and crossed her arms on the table. "He does it on purpose."
"The only hat I can think of is the one Captain Kurotsuchi wears," Isane said uneasily, her gaze following the line of the ceiling until she realized all eyes were on her. She gave a strangled laugh. "But surely Chairwoman Kusajishi knows better than to -"
"Let's not jinx ourselves," said Nanao. She tossed a wary glance towards the door.
"Momo, dear, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Retsu asked the younger girl.
Momo, who had been slumped over in her seat immediately sat up, nodding vehemently. "Y-yes, Captain Unohana. I'm fine." She gave a dim smile that radiated anything but good health. "Just a little light-headed," she added quietly.
"Once we're done here, come to the Fourth Division barracks and I'll give you an herbal remedy to reduce your symptoms."
Momo quickly shook her head so hard she started to feel like fainting again. "I'm fine, really," she assured, nearly losing her balance in her chair until Kiyone steadied her.
A silence had reigned for less than a minute when Yachiru came bursting through the door again, with shouts following after her. By now Byakuya had given up on personally trying to keep Yachiru - and the rest of the Shinigami Women's Association - out of his house, but he still set the guards on them every time they were spotted wandering through his halls.
"I'm ba~ack!" she sang, grinning from ear to ear as she slid the door shut and bounced back to her seat. On her head was a traditional rice hat that looked suspiciously similar to the one -
"Where'd you get that?" Nanao asked, gaping. She reached for it, but Yachiru's little fists clamped over the edges and she pulled it further down on her head so all anyone could see was her chin.
"Shun-Shun said I could borrow it," she replied, her voice muffled. She began to swing her legs back and forth.
Nanao raised a skeptical brow as she sat down again. "Did you ask him?"
"I couldn't, he was sleeping." Yachiru lifted the corner of the hat and gave the Vice-Chairwoman a toothy grin. "You can give it back to him when we're done. You won't get in trouble, since he likes you."
"If even she sees it, it's about time you two became official," Rangiku remarked, stretching back in her chair.
Nanao kept her head down as she felt her face grow warm. She adjusted her glasses and then, in one swift move, snatched the hat off of Yachiru's head. The action made a few of the women flinch, but Yachiru was all giggles and smiles.
"This meeting has run over its duration by quite a while," said Nanao as she deftly swept the slips of paper into the hat. "I'm sure we all have other things we're supposed to be doing, so let's stop goofing around."
Rangiku shifted and pulled at her pink sash. "Well, Chairwoman Yachiru's actually the one in charge here..."
The pink-haired girl gave a vigorous nod. "Let's do this!" She hopped onto her chair and gave Nanao a pointed look, to which the older woman gave a weak smile and extended the hat to her, sighing at the use of her captain's most cherished possession. One of them, anyway.
A small, sticky hand reached into the hat and swirled around for a moment as Yachiru giggled, and then a fistful of folded papers came out. She let all but one drop back in and hugged the slip of paper to her chest. She nodded quickly and plopped to her knees on the chair.
Nanao held the hat over her head and stuck her other hand inside and pulled out a folded paper, dreading a number of things in her immediate future. She lowered the hat and offered it to Rangiku.
"Now, we don't tell anyone who we have," the blonde woman said as Yachiru opened her paper and looked at the name on it. Rangiku picked a folded paper and took the hat to hold out to Rukia.
Yachiru looked at her paper quizzically, and then giggled to herself. "Yes! Oh, goody!"
Several confused looks went around the room, stopping with Nemu.
Nanao sat on the edge of her chair and held the paper close as she hesitantly opened it. She blinked a few times at the name, eyes rising to the table before she made a very obvious effort at giving each of the women a measured look.
"Okay," she said, a generic expression on her face as she sighed in relief. "Good."
Rukia looked at the plate of crumbs in the center of table as she drew a slip of paper from the hat. She took a brief glimpse at it, smiling.
"If you draw your own name," Nanao said, watching Rukia closely, "you must draw again."
Rukia nodded and passed the hat to Kiyone. "Does all the shopping have to be done in Soul Society?"
Nanao and Rangiku exchanged a look, then both shook their heads.
"I don't think it's a rule," Rangiku said, fingering the paper she'd drawn. "As long as we make sure it's a proper and thoughtful gift for our name, I don't think it should matter."
A murmur of agreement went through the other members.
Kiyone took a slip of paper and immediately clasped it in her hand under the table, mind wandering to her chances at drawing her captain's name. She offered the hat to Momo to her left.
"Oh, dear," Rangiku breathed as she looked at the name she'd drawn, eyes shooting to Nemu across from her, and then to Nanao and then Retsu. "Can we trade?"
"No," Nanao and Soi Fon said in unison. They gave each other a wary look, and then Nanao took a deep breath. "If we trade, some of us will know someone else's giftee, and that's supposed to be the secret part."
Rangiku sighed heavily and slumped back in her chair. Her fingers twiddled on the table as Rukia read the name on her paper and Momo drew a name from the hat.
"What about trading with one of the guys?" Rangiku posed.
"No," Soi Fon said quickly, anticipating Nanao's reaction.
Rangiku shrugged and took a long drink of her tea.
Beside her Rukia had rolled the name she chose into a ball, alternately smiling and frowning at it.
Momo passed the hat to Isane and then carefully looked at the name she'd drawn. Her mouth dropped open, a bit of blush coming to her unusually pale cheeks. "Oh..." She bit her lower lip, not looking to anyone.
Isane was still trying to read the wounded expression on Momo's face as she absently drew a name and then held the hat for her captain to choose from.
"Thank you," Retsu said, taking the hat from Isane and holding it for Soi Fon at her other side.
"Ugh!" Kiyone bit out, reading her name. She squeezed her eyes tight, the paper crunched in her fist as it tightened into a white-knuckle clench. "Ugh ...no. Ugh ..."
Kiyone's misery was cut short by a sharp gasp sucked from Isane, ending with a cough as she read the name on her slip of paper. "Oh, no ..." she said, shaking her head, rereading the name, and then turning it upside down, hoping for another chance at a different name. Nope. Still the same. With a face as white as her shitagi, she glanced to her sister across the table.
Kiyone returned her a sour look.
Retsu watched the sisters with amusement as she opened her slip of paper. She read the name on it, smiling demurely as she nodded. "Well, well," she said beneath her breath. All eyes went to her, trying to determine who she'd drawn. She sighed. "This may be a lot of fun, ladies."
Soi Fon gave her a shrewd look as she reached into the hat and chose a name. She pushed it to Nemu, eager and hopeful to see her object of attention for the holiday exchange. She frowned as she read the name. Her gaze slowly rose to the opposite side of the table, and then covertly dropped to the paper again.
Nemu chose a name and passed the hat to Yachiru. She flipped open the small paper, glimpsed the name printed there, and promptly ate it.
Yachiru snatched the hat and shook it. "Okay! Now the guys!" She stirred the names still in the hat with a hand.
"You don't need to draw another name, Chairwoman -"
"I know," Yachiru chirped at Nanao before she could finish. "I'm just mixing them up good."
"And how do you suppose we're going to get the men to participate?" Isane asked timidly, rubbing at the back of her neck.
"Easy. Hunt them down and force them," Rangiku replied.
"Well, something to that effect," Nanao mumbled, much to everyone's surprise, as she took the hat from Yachiru.
This was going to be a fun thirteen days.
