This is a story courtesy of closerficfect over on Tumblr. It is definitely AU and a story of the Brenda/Sharon variety. Prompt: #2 Brenda/Sharon - Brenda spends her first Christmas without Willie Rae with Sharon and her kids.
I had so much fun writing this first chapter and I already have an idea for the next two…I enjoying writing them together so much!
As always the characters and their respective shows aren't mine, but the story is.
PS: Reviews = love!
PPS: song: "Thinking Out Loud," by Ed Sheeran, cover by Alex G
It was so hard…just so hard. To be completely honest she didn't even want to get out of bed. This time of year was always her Mama's favorite and she didn't have the energy to get up and cope with all of her emotions. She wasn't flying out to Atlanta to be with her Daddy because she didn't know if she could keep up the charade of being ok; she'd had to do it over the last few months while staying with him and she didn't have the energy to anymore. Her brothers would be staying with him and she hoped that was enough.
She hadn't even been in the mood to buy a tree this year or put up the Christmas decorations. Her apartment was still littered with boxes and ore boxes, sitting and waiting for the day that her energy would return so she could handle them. She had moved all of her stuff out of the bungalow when she and Fritz had both agreed their relationship wasn't working anymore; too many things had changed, she was a different person after all.
Brenda had tried, tried harder than she ever had to keep them going, all the while her Mama's voice was in the back of her head encouraging her to do what she wanted…to just be happy. It was funny it took her so long to notice that the voice wasn't stronger in Fritz's presence, but some one else's. The eyes she got lost in were no longer a deep brown but a piercing green seen behind lenses of her glasses. She didn't know where she'd be right now if it wasn't for Sharon and her unwavering yet non suffocating support. She was one of Brenda's closest and most loved friends.
But that was part of the problem wasn't it?
If Brenda was honest with her self she didn't just want the brunette as a friend; she wanted so much more than that. She wanted to be able to express to Sharon how she felt, run her fingers through the dark strands and kiss the soft lips. She had been worried at first that this infatuation was just because of her Mama's…passing and her split from Fritz. She tried to rationalize it by telling herself that she was only lonely and maybe even a little lost; she didn't want to hurt Sharon. But the more she though about and dissected her feelings the more she began to realize that maybe they hadn't come completely out of the blue.
And now she was faced with a Major dilemma. The Captain had invited her over to her condo to spend Christmas Eve with her, Rusty, and her other two children. She had told Brenda that they would make homemade cookies and sip hot chocolate while watching Rusty playfully spar with Emily and Ricky. Later they would all settle down around the TV and watch whatever seasonal movie was on, most likely a White Christmas, it happened to be Sharon's favorite.
It all sounded so wonderful and peaceful and domestic. She wasn't sure she would be able to keep herself together, and with the way she was feeling now Brenda wasn't sure she'd be the best company tonight. She pulled the down comforter up over head and wished she could just stay there in the warm cocoon she had created, away from the outside world…away from having to face her demons. She knew what she needed to do but that doesn't mean she had to like it.
She reached her hand out from under the comforter and groped around the bedside table for her cell phone. The screen was bright under the blanket making her eyes squint slightly as she scrolled and found the familiar contact. Closing her eyes, she let her finger touch the tiny phone button and waited as the dial tone filled her ears. It was only a few seconds before the excited voice of Sharon wafted over the blonde.
"Hello Brenda," she could hear the smile in the other woman's voice.
Smiling herself she returned the greeting, "Sharon…is this a bad time?"
She could hear the brunette situating her self on the other end of the line, setting something metal down on the counter. She could only imagine what Sharon was doing in the kitchen, from past experiences she knew it was preparing some delicious meal, maybe even prepping the cookie dough for later tonight.
"Not at all," she sounded a little breathless, "what's up?"
Brenda swallowed painfully, "I wanted to talk to you about tonight…"
The other end of the line was silent except for the occasional exhale; she knew the Captain was listening.
"What about it?" Sharon prompted when Brenda failed to continue.
In that moment the former Deputy Chief could hear the uncertainty and building disappointment in her friends voice. She could hear the sadness and the acceptance; Sharon knew that she was calling to cancel their evening together. Although Brenda knew the older woman would be gracious and accept any reasoning she gave, she knew she couldn't disappoint her. She had already done that to many people in her lifetime, she wouldn't be adding Sharon to the list.
The blonde swallowed once again, "Are you sure I cant bring anythin'?"
The shift in Sharon's demeanor was palpable; she could feel the relief and excitement return over the phone line. Brenda smiled softly to her self at the feeling.
"Just yourself," the brunette repeated, "And maybe a bottle of wine if you feel so inclined."
Brenda nodded to herself, "Any particular type?"
"Well," she drawled, "Emmy likes red like you, I think I have a bottle of white for Ricky and I…"
"I'll pick up a bottle of each," Brenda interrupted.
There was a pause on the other end of the line and then Sharon continued talking.
"That's very thoughtful of you, Brenda Leigh."
She could feel a lump rising in the back of her throat at the use of her name; the only other person who had called her more often by her full name was her Mama. She loved hearing the sound of it roll off Sharon's tongue, laced with friendliness and what she hoped was love, she didn't hear that all that often anymore.
"So," Brenda cleared her throat, "what time should I come over?"
The older woman hummed thoughtfully. The sound never failed to send shivers down Brenda's spine, something about the decadent sound coming from the distinguished brunette. She had never imagined she would find anything sexier that the sounds Sharon Raydor made.
"Shall we say six?" she questioned, "You can help me set the table and it'll give you time to prepare for Ricky and Emily."
Brenda smiled shyly, "I'm not nervous."
"Liar." Sharon teased back.
The blonde laughed quietly, "Ok maybe just a little, but I'm sure I'll love them as much as their Mama."
When the words left her mouth she wished she could call them back. Now all she hear don the other end was silence, not the comfortable silence of earlier but this was filled with a tense unease. Brenda mentally berated her self, she couldn't believe she'd let her guard down and said something so completely stupid. She hadn't meant to make the Captain uncomfortable.
What was Sharon thinking?
"Sharon?" she tried hesitantly, "I'll see you later tonight?"
The answer was slow in coming, "Yes of course."
"Ok," Brenda relented, "bye, bye now."
The blonde didn't wait for a response and let the line go dead. She sat up slowly in the bed and let the comforter off of her shoulders to pool on the bed. Scrubbing her face with her hands she made a slight grimace. She had actually begun to look forward to the evening…now she wasn't so sure.
