This first chapter of Old Money was written by Rosewood Girl 317. This was originally her story. It was a one-shot but I got permission from her to write a sequel or at least a two shot. I just couldn't let the story end like that. You can read the first chapter on her page titled under A Mother's Love or down below.
Hanna's POV
"Momma, momma, momma." I hear a little voice say.
My blue eyes flutter open, and I smile when I see my two year-old son Jesse hovering over me. His brown eyes are glowing with excitement, and he's without a doubt ready to play. Did he crawl out of his crib again? I swear he's getting so old... Caleb and I will have to buy him a toddler bed soon.
"Good morning sweetheart." I say as I pull the boy close to me, and stroke his soft brown hair.
"Morning." Jesse says with a cheeky smile.
At that moment, a muscular pair of arms wrap themselves around my body. I turn my head and smile when I see my husband of six years holding me close to him, and stroking my light blonde hair gently.
"Did you sleep well princess?" Caleb asks me softly.
Not really. Being seven months pregnant is kind of exhausting. I had to pee about thirty times last night, and that's not an exaggeration. Not to mention my little bundle of joy was kicking up a storm last night, and that woke me up every hour or so.
"Not particularly." I mutter.
"Sorry honey." Caleb says with a frown.
"It's not your fault. Actually it kind of is. You're the one who never wanted to use a c-" I start to say.
"Hanna, son in the room." Caleb says as he gestures towards the little boy in my arms.
"It's not like he knows what we're talking about. Jesse is two years-old for crying out loud!" I say with an eye roll.
"In that case, I'm sorry I got you pregnant Hanna. We'll be more careful from now on." Caleb says with a chuckle.
"Good." I say as I try my best to appear angry.
Two children, two children, two children. That has always been my motto. As the owner of a high end fashion company, having more than two children would be an absolute catastrophe! Managing a company and a home is a difficult task, and an extra baby means a hell of a lot more work.
Even though this baby wasn't planned, and it will probably cause me more stress and anxiety than I'll know how to handle, I wouldn't take this pregnancy back for the world. My two children, Jesse and my four year-old son Tyler have brought me so much excitement and joy, and I'm sure I'll love this baby just as much as I love my boys. Every night when the baby kicks in my womb, I place my hands over my belly and whisper loving words to my unborn child. I wonder if the baby can hear me. I wonder if he or she will recognize my voice after I give birth.
"Where is your older brother?" Caleb asks Jesse curiously.
"Sleeping." Jesse says with a giggle.
Sleeping? Usually Tyler is the first person awake in this household. I glance over at the alarm clock and gasp when I realize that it's only six o'clock! Jesse woke up extra early this morning.
"I can go get Tyler if you'd like." Caleb tells me sweetly.
I nod my head eagerly, and Caleb scurries out of the room. Every morning the boys come into our bed to cuddle, and I absolutely love it. Spending time with my three favorite boys is always a great way to start the day.
Moments latter, Caleb reenters the bedroom with a sleeping Tyler in his arms. The four year-old looks so much like his daddy that sometimes I have to do a double take when he enters the room.
"Twwer, Twwer!" Jesse shouts.
I cover the two-year olds mouth with my hand, but it's too late. My oldest son's brown eyes begin to flutter open, and he glances at his younger brother with a confused expression on his face.
"Is it time for preschool Daddy?" Tyler asks with a tired yawn.
"No buddy. It's Saturday." Caleb says with a chuckle.
"Saturday? Park, park, park!" Jesse chants.
Caleb and I exchange a knowing glance. Every Saturday we take our boys to the park, and it's literally the highlight of Jesse's week. Tyler likes going to the park too, but he doesn't get as excited about it as his baby brother does.
"Yes, we're going to the park latter." Caleb says as he ruffles Jessie's dark locks.
Jesse squeals, before springing to his feet and jumping on the bed excitedly. Usually I wouldn't mind the two year-old's burst of energy, but I'm exhausted this morning. I let out a tired groan, and burry my head underneath the pillow.
"Jesse, enough. Mommy isn't feel well this morning." Caleb says with sternness in his voice.
"You're sick Momma?" Tyler asks me concerned.
"Not sick, just tired because of the baby." I tell my older son.
Tyler responds by cuddling close to me, and kissing my face repeatedly. He isn't the most out spoken child, but he sure is a sweetheart.
"Thank you Ty-Ty." I say with a warm smile.
Jesse stops jumping, and stares down at me and Tyler. He obviously doesn't like the attention his older brother is getting because Jesse immediately lays down and begins to mimic Tyler's actions.
"Thanks for the kisses Jess." I say with a chuckle.
"You're welcome Momma." Jesse says with a grin.
"Hanna, I'm going to make breakfast for the family. Do you want to start getting ready?" Caleb asks me softly.
Not really. I'm really tired this morning, and getting ready sounds tiring. However, I know the boys want to go to the park, and the sooner we leave the sooner we'll get home.
"Yeah, I'm going to take a shower." I mutter before crawling out of bed.
Line Break
The warm water feels like heaven against my skin. I close my eyes as I run my coconut shampoo through my blonde hair, and I do my best to relax as I enjoy my shower. All the sudden, I feel something trickling down my legs. That's strange.
I look down and scream when I see a pool of blood on the shower floor. Holy shit! Am I losing the baby? I burst into tears, and let out a terrified shriek, but no one seems to hear me.
"Caleb! Caleb come quick!" I say through my heavy sobs.
Moments later my husband comes running into the bathroom with a concerned look on his handsome face.
"Hanna, what's wrong?" Caleb asks as he struggles to catch his breath.
I don't have the strength to respond, so I just continue to sob out in fear. Caleb enters the shower, and gasps when he sees the bright red blood running down my legs. Tears begin to form in his eyes, and he scoops me into his arms before laying me down on our soft bed. After I'm taken care of, he pulls out his phone and dials nine-one-one.
"This is nine-one-one, what is your emergency?" A man on the other end of the line asks.
"My wife is pregnant, and she's bleeding a lot..." Caleb starts to say.
"Has she lost consciousness? Is she feeling dizzy at all?" The man asks my husband.
"Hanna?" Caleb asks as he glances over at me.
"No, I feel fine. Please just get me to a hospital." I cry out.
"We'll send an ambulance." The man says before hanging up the phone.
Line Break
After arriving at the nearest hospital, the paramedics rushed me to the ER and several doctors began to check me out immediately. I'm currently laying in a hospital bed, and waiting for someone to give me an update. I have no idea what's going on with my body, or even if my baby is okay. I'm terrified to say the least.
Caleb has been amazing. Ever since they brought me to the hospital, he hasn't left my side. I'm currently crying hysterically, and he's attempting to calm my nerves. I can tell that he's nervous too, but he'd never admit that while I'm suffering. He's trying to stay calm for my sake.
"Hanna, don't cry. It's going to be okay." Caleb says as he strokes my long blonde hair.
"How do you know?" I ask him through my tears.
"Well I don't... But we can get through anything together. I love you, no matter what happens." Caleb says before pressing a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Oh Caleb, what if something is wrong with our child?" I ask as I begin to cry even harder.
"Stop it Hanna. We don't even know if the baby is in danger. Let's cross that bridge when and if we get there." Caleb tells me seriously.
He has a point. For all I know, everything could be fine. Maybe this was a false alarm, and the blood trickling down my legs will be forgotten by this time tomorrow. I really want to forget that this ever happened.
"Hanna Rivers?" A man in his late fifties asks as he enters the hospital room.
"That's me." I tell the man as I attempt to sit up in bed.
"I'm Dr. Nelson. Are you the father?" He asks as he gestures towards Caleb.
"Yes sir." Caleb says with a nod.
"Good. We have a lot to discuss." Dr. Nelson says as he pulls up a chair, and takes a seat next to my hospital bed.
This can't be good. I can see it in Dr. Nelson's eyes. He's dreading having to tell us what's wrong. What if I lose my baby? I remember the first time I felt him or her kick in my womb, and I let out an audible cry.
"Hanna, are you okay?" Caleb asks as he rests an arm on my shoulder.
"Is the baby okay? Please just tell me. I need to know." I say as I turn to face Dr. Nelson.
"Mrs. Rivers, this is a complicated situation. The baby is okay for now, but that could change." He tells me gently.
"I-I don't understand..." I start to ramble.
"I just looked through all your scans, and I'm almost positive that this is a case of Placenta Percreta." The man says with a breathy sigh.
Placenta Percreta what even is that?
"What?" I ask with confusion in my voice.
"It's condition in which the placenta penetrates through the entire uterine wall and attaches to another organ. In this case, your placenta is attached to your bladder." The man explains.
"I-is that serious?" Caleb asks with panic in his voice.
"It's very serious. I'm sorry to tell you that your chances of surviving childbirth are still to none. We could give you a c-section, but you'll probably suffer from a hemorrhage when your body tries to detach the placenta from your bladder." Dr. Nelson says as he avoids looking into my eyes.
I can feel my heart-breaking in my chest. I don't want to die. I'm too young. I want to watch my boys grow up, and I want to grow old with Caleb. This isn't fair. None of it is.
"So I'm just going to die, and that's it?" I ask as my body goes numb.
"Not necessarily..." Dr. Nelson starts to say.
"I'll do anything to keep Hanna alive. I'll pay as much money as the best treatment costs. Please, just tell me what we can do. I don't want to lose her." Caleb says as tears begin to pour out of his eyes.
"You have the option of terminating the pregnancy." Dr. Nelson tells me softly.
"Terminate the pregnancy? As in abort my child?" I ask as my eyes grow wide with shock.
"Not everyone agrees with abortion, but from a medical standpoint it's the most logical decision in your situation. I know it's hard to hear, but I'm thinking of what's best for your family." Dr. Nelson says with a heavy sigh.
"Suppose I decide to carry the baby to full-term. Does it have a good chance of surviving childbirth?" I ask my doctor curiously.
"Well, yes. We'd have to put you on bed rest to prevent you from going into labor prematurely, and if we can accomplish that the baby has a chance at surviving." My doctor informs me.
What do I do? I have to chose between my baby's life, and my own life. If it were just me in the picture, I'd die for my baby in a heartbeat. But I have two little boys at home to worry about. They need me, and so does Caleb.
"I-I don't know what to do." I say as I glance over at Caleb.
"This is a difficult decision to make, and I think you two should talk it over before you give me an answer. Why don't you sleep on it, and come back here first thing tomorrow morning?" Dr. Nelson suggests.
"Caleb?" I ask my husband softly.
"Okay. We'll talk it over and get back to you." My husband says as tears begin to pour out of his eyes.
"I'll see you both tomorrow." Dr. Nelson says before scurrying out of the hospital room.
Line Break
The car ride home is completely silent. Caleb and I haven't said a word to each other since we got in the car, and neither one of us had addressed the elephant in the room, or in this case car.
"I called Spencer and Toby. They agreed to watch the boys tonight." Caleb mutters as we pull into our driveway.
"Good. We really need to talk." I say as I stare into his brown eyes.
"Yeah, we do." Caleb says as parks the car, and takes his hands off the wheel.
"I-I'm torn. What do you want to do?" I ask him softly.
My words cause Caleb to burst into tears. He's crying harder than I've ever seen him cry before, and I worry that he'll never be able to stop. I unbuckle my seatbelt, and rest my head on Caleb's strong chest. I love him so much, and I don't want to see him get hurt.
"Caleb... Please don't cry. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I swear I will." I say as tears begin to form in my own eyes.
"Hanna... I love our baby so much, but I love you too. You're my entire world, and I can't lose you. I can't let you did Hanna. I just can't." Caleb says as he begins to cry even harder if that's humanly possible.
"So you're saying we should abort the child?" I ask as a sour taste begins to well up in my mouth.
"It sounds awful to say out loud, but I don't think we have a choice. I know that this baby is important, but what about our other babies? You're their mother too, and you can't leave them behind Hanna. Who will be their Mommy if you die?" Caleb asks through his heavy sobs.
He has a point. If I don't abort the child, I'll leave my three children motherless, and my husband widowed. I have to think of the bigger picture, and what's best for everyone in the equation, not just the child I'm carrying.
"Okay. I'll terminate the pregnancy." I say through my tears.
Caleb responds by pulling me close to him, and kissing my forehead repeatedly. He sure seems happy with my decision. I wonder if the child I'm carrying knows what's going on. I bet he or she hates us.
"Caleb, do you think the baby will understand?" I ask in a shaky voice.
"Yes Hanna. The baby loves us, and it will understand why we're doing what we're doing." Caleb says with a sniffle.
"You know, I've always been pro-choice, but I've never been pro-abortion on a personal level. Does that make any sense?" I ask my husband softly.
"No, not really." Caleb says as he shakes his head vigorously.
"I mean I've always voted for women having the right to do what they want with their bodies, but I always told myself I'd never have an abortion. Now look at me!" I exclaim.
"Hanna... This isn't a black or white situation. There isn't a wrong answer here, and no one could possibly judge you for making the decision to save your own life. Don't feel bad about this, okay." Caleb says as his voice softens.
"Okay." I say through my heavy breathing.
"Good, let's get you to bed." Caleb mutters as he climbs out of the car, and helps me out of my seat.
Line Break
I can't sleep. The baby won't stop kicking. I used to love the feeling of my child moving around in my womb, but now it makes me want to cry. All the movement does is make me realize how real this child is, and how alive it is even though it hasn't been born yet.
"I wish you'd stop moving. You're making this so much more difficult for me." I whisper to the child.
Something peculiar happens. I feel soft hiccups coming from my womb, and I immediately burst into tears. My little baby has the hiccups. It's probably so uncomfortable, and it's going to be even more uncomfortable when I go in for the abortion tomorrow. Will he or she feel scared when my doctor kills it? Will the baby mentally cry out, and pray that I'll rescue it from death? I'm the baby's mommy after all, and if I don't protect it who will?
"Hey, can you hold your breath for me?" I whisper.
But the baby continues to hiccup. Oh my goodness!
"Here. Let me help you." I say before taking a big gulp of air, and holding my breath with the child.
Within minutes the baby's hiccups die down, and I let out a small cry. I can't go through with this. I can't let go of my baby. I have to die in my child's place. I know there is no right or wrong answer in situations like these, but I'd never be able to forgive myself for intentionally ending my child's life.
"Caleb, Caleb, wake up." I say as I begin to shake my husband gently.
"What's wrong?" Caleb asks as his eyes flutter open.
I sigh as I take in the man's appearance. He looks so concerned for me. There isn't a doubt in my mind that Caleb loves me more than anything in the world, and I know that my decision is going to kill him on the inside. I know he doesn't want to lose me, but I also know that deep down he doesn't want to go through with this either.
"Ichangedmymindidontwanttogetanabortion." I say through my heavy sobs.
"Hanna, slow down, and catch your breath. You're crying so hard that I can't understand a word you're saying." Caleb says as he rests a hand on my shoulder.
"I-I said I changed my mind. I don't want to do it anymore." I say after I catch my breath.
"You changed your mind? I-I don't understand..." Caleb starts to say.
"I don't want to die, but neither does our baby. It deserves a chance to live, and I want to give it that chance. I'm so so sorry, but I don't want to terminate the pregnancy." I say as I stare into my husband's brow eyes.
"Hanna, I get it. This is hard, and I understand, but you have to stick to your guns on this one. We agreed that terminating the pregnancy was the best decision for our family." Caleb says as he tries to remain calm.
"No, you agreed. I went along with whatever you said because I was unsure myself, but now I know what I want to do. I want to let the baby live." I say with a sniffle.
Caleb goes from looking concerned to looking absolutely furious. I can tell he isn't happy with my decision, and I know he's going to fight me on this.
"Hanna... How could you be so selfish?" Caleb asks me furiously.
Selfish? He's calling me selfish? I'm sacrificing my life for our child, and he thinks I'm being selfish?
"How am I being selfish? Do you think I want to die Caleb? Of course not, but I'm willing to if it means protecting my child." I say as I place my hands over my womb.
"What about your other children? You need to protect them too! How do you think they'd feel if you died?" Caleb shouts.
"I'm sure it would be hard on them, but they'd have you." I say as I reach for my husband's hand.
"Don't touch me Hanna." Caleb mutters as he pulls his hand away from mine.
"Caleb, either way they're going to lose someone. They'll either lose their baby brother or sister, or they'll lose me, and honestly I'd rather it be me." I say through my tears.
Caleb doesn't respond, and he still looks furious. Why won't he listen to me? How does he not understand where I'm coming from?
"Caleb, would you kill Tyler or Jesse in their sleep if it meant keeping me alive?" I question.
"Of course not." Caleb mutters.
"Then why are you willing to kill this baby?" I ask as I stare right at my husband.
"It's completely different! Tyler and Jesse are already alive, but this baby isn't. It's nothing but a fetus." Caleb shouts.
"Really? It isn't alive? Put your hand on my womb and then you can tell me that! You can feel our child moving around in there, and before I woke you up it had the hiccups." I say as tears of anger begin to stream down my face.
"It doesn't matter Hanna, it isn't alive." Caleb tells me stubbornly.
"Yes it is! The baby is alive, and I love him or her so much. I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to die. I'm going to die, and I need you to promise that you'll look after this child, just like how you'll look after Tyler and Jesse." I plead.
"Dammit Hanna! How do you expect me to tolerate, let alone raise the child who's responsible for your death?" Caleb shouts.
"Caleb... It isn't the baby's fault. It didn't mean for this to happen." I tell him seriously.
"I don't care. If you die, I will go to my grave hating that damn baby." Caleb yells.
I gasp at my husbands words. How could he hate his own flesh and blood? I understand being upset given the situation, but how could he say those things about an innocent child?
"I don't even know who you are anymore." I say as I shake my head in disgust.
"I don't know who you are either. The Hanna I married would never abandon her own family." Caleb spits out hatefully.
"The Caleb I married would never advocate for killing his own child." I say in response.
"Hanna... I need you to listen to me very carefully. If you don't go through with this-if you don't terminate the pregnancy, I will never forgive you." Caleb says as he stares into my blue eyes.
"Caleb, if I do go through with this I'll never be able to forgive myself." I tell him truthfully.
Caleb responds by bursting into tears, and burying his head underneath the pillow. I feel so awful.
"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you Caleb." I say as I rest a hand on his shoulder.
"I think I'll sleep on the couch tonight." Caleb mutters before springing to his feet.
Is he serious? I know he disagrees with my decision, but I need my husband tonight. Does he not understand that? He's being such a jerk, and I feel so furious that I want to scream.
"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." I say before slamming the bedroom door behind him.
Two Months Latter
Bed rest is the worst. I can only get out of bed if I have to go to the bathroom or take a shower, and I'm bored out of my mind. It sucks that I have to spend my last few days on Earth in bed, instead of doing something fun with my boys. I could go into labor anytime now, and although it will bring my baby girl life, it will bring me death.
Caleb and I don't talk anymore. He hates me for not terminating the pregnancy, and I can't stand it. The thought of dying with him hating me is too much to bear, and I'm desperately hoping that we can work things out before I go.
I smile slightly when I feel soft hiccups coming from me womb. This baby hiccups all the time, and I find it adorable. In a way, my daughter's hiccups were what saved her life.
"Hold your breath. Ready? One, two, three." I whisper as I slowly stop breathing.
Moments later the hiccups stop completely, and blow a kiss to my unborn child.
"I love you so much baby girl. None of this is your fault you know. Your daddy loves you too, but he doesn't know it yet." I say as tears begin to form in my eyes.
Of course the baby doesn't respond, but I feel a series of soft kicks coming from my womb. Every time I talk, she becomes all the more lively.
"If Daddy isn't good to you, you can live with my momma. She agreed to raise you if things don't work out." I tell her gently.
At that moment, my bedroom door bursts open. I gasp when I see my four year-old son Tyler standing in the doorway, and crying hysterically.
"Ty-Ty, what's wrong?" I ask as a look of concern washes over my face.
"I-I don't want you to die Mommy. Are you going to die soon?" Tyler asks through his heavy sobs.
I let out a breathy sigh. Caleb and I had to explain to our sons that after the baby comes, I'll go up to heaven with God. Jesse cried a little, but he's too young to understand death fully. Tyler on the other hand, took the news horribly.
Everyday after Caleb picks him up from preschool, Tyler runs into my room and lays next to me in bed, while he begs me not to die. I always tell him that we don't choose when we die, even though that's not entirely true. I chose death for my unborn child, but I still wish I didn't have to make that choice.
"Tyler, come here." I say as I motion for him to come and lay down next to me.
My son nods before sprinting to my bed, and climbing into it. He rests his head on the upper part of my chest, and I stroke the boy's hair gently.
"Tyler, I know how hard this is for you. You don't deserve to lose your Mommy, and I'm so, so sorry that you're going to." I tell him softly.
My words don't soothe the boy, and he begins to cry even harder if that's humanly possible.
"I want you to know that even though you're losing me in a physical sense, I'll always find a way to be with you Tyler. I love you more than anything in the world, and I'll watch over you in heaven. If you ever miss me, all you have to do is look up because I'll be right there in the sky." I say as tears begin to form in my eyes.
"Promise?" Tyler asks with a sniffle.
"Yeah, I promise." I say before pulling him even closer to me.
Tyler begins to relax, but I can tell that he's still upset. I wish he was still young like Jesse, so he wouldn't have to experience this much pain.
"Tyler, can you promise me something?" I ask him seriously.
"What Momma?" He asks as he looks up at me.
"I went to the doctors a few days ago, and he told me I was having a little girl. Little girls are a lot different from little boys, and I'm going to need you to look out for her. You and Jesse need to protect her from anyone who might want to hurt her, and you two need to shower her with love and support." I tell my son.
"A girl?" Tyler asks as his eyes grow wide with shock.
"Yeah, a girl." I say with a slight smile.
"Will she look like you?" Tyler asks me curiously.
"Maybe, maybe not." I say with a shrug.
"I hope she does." Tyler says with a sniffle.
"I do too." I hear a familiar voice say.
I look up and gasp when I see my husband standing in the doorway. He's crying, but he has a soft smile on his face. I look at Caleb, and then at Tyler, and then back at Caleb again.
"Tyler, can you give us a minute?" I ask my son gently.
Tyler nods before running out of the room, and calling for his younger brother. Caleb doesn't say a word, but he slowly approaches my bed, and then out of nowhere he bends down and kisses me. My husband hasn't kissed me since God knows when.
"I thought you wanted the sex to be a surprise." Caleb says as he lays down next to me.
"I did, but I changed my mind. I just needed to know." I say as I avoid looking into his eyes.
"I'm glad we're having a baby girl. I hope she's kind, loving, beautiful, and selfless, just like her momma." Caleb says with a twinkle in his brown eyes.
I'm confused. I thought he was angry at me, and I thought he hated this baby. Maybe he had a change of heart.
"So you don't hate her?" I ask as my voice cracks in despair.
"No Hanna. The only person I hate right now is myself. You needed me more than ever, and I wasn't there for you. I wanted to be, but I couldn't handle it. I don't know what I'm going to do when you're gone." Caleb says as tears begin to form in his eyes.
"I'm not leaving you alone Caleb. You'll still have Tyler, Jesse, and this little one. They're going to need their daddy." I say as I stare into my husband's brown eyes.
"I'm just going to miss you so much." Caleb says through his heavy sobs.
"I'm going to miss you too, but this isn't forever. We'll be together again someday, and it will be so magical Caleb." I say as I reach for his hand.
"I'm so sorry Hanna." Caleb says through his tears.
"No, I'm sorry." I say with a breathy sigh.
"If-When you die, will you be my guardian angel?" Caleb asks as he stares into my blue eyes.
"Of course." I say with a nod.
"I love you so much." Caleb says with a sniffle.
"I love you too. More than anything in the entire world." I say before pressing my lips against his.
Caleb's POV (Five Years Latter)
"Hi Hanna." I say as I stare at my wife's white tombstone.
Obviously I don't get a response, but I close my eyes for a minute and pretend like she's standing in front of me and staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes.
"I um, I brought you daisies. I know they're your favorite." I mutter before bending down, and placing them over her tombstone.
Tears begin to form in my eyes, and I get the urge to be close to my wife. I lay over where her casket is buried, and breathe in the green grass.
"You went into labor on a Tuesday. I rushed you to the hospital, and the doctors put you under almost immediately. You were asleep when they gave you the c-section, so you weren't in any pain when you died." I say through my tears.
"You gave birth to a beautiful, and healthy little girl. She was hiccuping when the doctors pulled her out, and I fell in love with her immediately. I know you wanted to name her Madison, but I named her Hanna instead. Hanna Madison Rivers." I tell my wife.
"She turned five today, and that's kind of why I'm here. It's been five years since I last saw you, and I miss you so much. I think about you everyday, and I wish you were here with us." I say as I begin to cry even harder.
"The boys miss you too, especially Tyler. He's nine now, and our little Jesse is seven. They've changed so much, but also not at all. Tyler is still quiet, but he is the most kind-hearted person I've ever know. He gets that from his mommy. And Jesse... He's still on the hyper side, but he's grown up so much Hanna. You'd be so proud of both of them." I say through my tears.
"And then there's my little Hanna... God I love her so much. Every time I look at her, I see you. She has your light-blonde hair, and you're beautiful blue eyes. She's sassy just like you were, and she says the funniest things... I wish you could have known her. You would have loved her so much." I mutter.
"She asks about you sometimes. I know she misses you, but I talk about you all the time. She knows all about you, and all about us and our love story. Don't worry too much about her Hanna. She's in great hands. I'm on top of all the Daddy stuff, and the girls and your mother take care of all the Mommy stuff. Aria took her shopping for a dress to wear to her birthday party tonight." I say with a sniffle.
"And her brothers love her so much. They're so good to her, especially Tyler. They walk her to her Kindergarden classroom every morning, and if anyone gives her a hard time during recess, they stick up for her. Hanna is a lucky, lucky girl." I say with a slight smile.
"Remember how I used to call you Hanna Banana? I know it drove you crazy, but our daughter loves the nickname. She sleeps with me almost every night now because she's in the phase where she believes that there are monsters underneath her bed. I don't mind having her with me at night. If anything, I love having her close to me." I tell my wife truthfully.
"I hope I'm a good Daddy. I hope she never finds out that I wanted her dead. I hope she doesn't know that I used to hate her... She's sensitive, and the truth would kill her." I say with a breathy sigh.
"Hanna knows that you died while giving birth to her. She knows that you loved her enough to die for her, but she wishes you were still here. I do too, and so do the boys. Some days are harder than others. There are mornings when I wake up screaming your name, and then there are days when I forget you're even gone." I tell Hanna.
"Even though you're gone, I know you're still here with me. I feel your love when I'm having a hard time, and I see you in our three little miracles. I actually feel you right now. You're listening to me, aren't you? I hope you know how much I love you, and how proud I am of you. Most of all, I hope you know that you're my hero." I say as a chill goes through me.
"Well... I should get going. I have to pick Hanna up from Aria and Ezra's house, and then I have to get everything ready for the party. I'll be back soon though. Don't you miss me. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to let me know. I love you so much Hanna." I say before getting up, and walking to my car.
Line Break
I ring the doorbell to the Fitzes' house, and moments later Ezra answers the door. He's holding his newborn son Andrew, and his two year-old son Jonathan is lingering near his father.
"Caleb, how are you?" Ezra asks with a warm smile.
"I'm well. Do you know where Hanna is?" I ask him curiously.
"Yeah. She's upstairs with Aria. They're getting her ready for the party, but they should be down here any minute now." Ezra tells me.
At that moment, I see my daughter running down the stairs, with Aria trailing close behind her. Tears begin to form in my eyes when I take in my daughter's appearance. She's wearing a dark purple dress with adorable black flats, and Aria curled her light blonde hair. She looks so much like her mother.
"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Auntie Aria bought me a new dress and then she made my hair look pretty! See?" Hanna asks as she does a little twirl.
"Yes, I see princess." I say with a sniffle.
"Daddy, you're crying!" Hanna exclaims as her little face falls.
"I am. I just can't believe how beautiful you look." I tell my daughter truthfully.
"Thanks Daddy." Hanna beams.
"How much did everything cost?" I ask as I pull out my wallet.
"Don't worry about it Caleb. It was my treat." Aria says with a slight smile.
"Aria... I can't accept that." I say as I shake my head slowly.
"Yes you can. I had a great time today. Think of it as an extra birthday present." Aria tells me seriously.
"What do you say to your Aunt?" I ask as I glance down at my daughter.
"Thank you Auntie Aria!" Hanna exclaims as she jumps into her aunt's arms.
"You're so welcome sweetheart. I'll see you tonight at your party." Aria says before planting a kiss on the girl's forehead.
"See you later alligator." Hanna says with a giggle.
"In a while crocodile." Aria says before handing me my daughter.
Line Break
Hanna spends the entire ride home chatting about her party, and how excited she is to see everyone.
"Did you get me a cake Daddy?" Hanna asks me curiously.
"Of course I got you a cake Hanna." I say with a chuckle.
"Yummy!" My daughter exclaims.
At that moment, she begins to hiccup. I think back to when Hanna was pregnant with her, and she'd hiccup in her mother's womb. I think of the day she was born, and how she came into the world crying, and hiccuping violently.
"Daddy, I have the hicc-ups." Hanna says with an exasperated sigh.
"Try holding your breath." I say as I glance back at my daughter.
"One, two, three." Hanna says before inhaling a large breath of air, and then holding it in for a few seconds.
"It worked, it worked!" Hanna says with excitement in her voice.
"That trick always works Hanna." I say with a sad smile.
Hanna nods her head in agreement, before she begins to hum happy birthday to herself. She sure is a cutie, just like her mother was.
"I visited Mommy today." I tell my daughter suddenly.
"You did?" Hanna asks as her eyes grow wide with excitement.
"Uh-huh." I say with a nod.
"Did you tell her that today is my birthday?" Hanna asks me curiously.
"She already knew kiddo." I say with a chuckle.
"Did you invite her to my party?" Hanna asks me.
"I didn't have to. She'll be there with you tonight honey." I say with a sad smile.
"You miss her, don't you Daddy." Hanna asks me softly.
"I miss her everyday." I tell my daughter truthfully.
"I'm sorry." Hanna tells me sadly.
"Hanna Madison Rivers, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Ever since you were born five years-ago, you've brought me nothing but happiness and joy." I say as I park the car, and stare directly at my daughter.
"B-but Mommy died because of me." Hanna says as tears begin to form in her eyes.
"You're so wrong. Mommy chose to die because she loved you so much. What happened wasn't your fault honey." I tell her truthfully.
"I wish Mommy didn't have to die." Hanna tells me softly.
"I know, but we can't change what happened. We just have to keep Mommy in our hearts, and deal with our situation as best as we possibly can. Does that make sense sweetheart?" I ask my daughter gently.
"I guess." She says with a shrug.
"Can I tell you something about your Mommy?" I ask her hopefully.
"Okay." Hanna says with an excited nod.
"She was a girly-girl, just like you are. She loved your brothers more than anything in the entire world, but I knew she wanted you to be a little girl. She would have loved to go shopping with you, and have girl's days with you." I say with a chuckle.
"I would have loved that too." Hanna says with a sniffle.
"I know you would have Hanna Banana. I'm sorry Mommy isn't physically here to celebrate your fifth birthday with you, but she's right here." I say as I place my hand over my daughter's heart.
"Really?" Hanna asks as her eyes grow wide with shock.
"Really. I'm sure she's so proud of you Hanna." I say as I stare into my daughter's blue eyes.
"Why?" Hanna asks as a look of confusion washes over her face.
"Because you're absolutely perfect in every single way. We couldn't have asked for a better daughter." I say as I unbuckle the girl, and place her on my lap.
"Thanks Daddy." Hanna says with a wide smile.
"No, thank you. You've made me the happiest man on the planet. I wouldn't have been able to get through these past five years if it hadn't been for you." I tell my daughter truthfully.
Hanna responds by cuddling closer to me, and resting her head on my strong chest. I stroke the girl's blonde hair gently, and I close my eyes as I hold her warm body close to mine.
"Want to go inside now Daddy?" Hanna asks me softly.
"No. I just want to hold you." I say as tears begin to spill out of my brown eyes.
"Okay. I love you Daddy." Hanna says as she looks up at me with her piercing blue eyes.
"I love you too baby girl. Happy fifth birthday." I say as I look up at the blue sky above us.
