A/N: So this is my new fic...er...obviously :P it's AU and set in college and will be all from Naomi's POV...no negotiating on that one! I also don't know much about the British schooling system, so this Bristol College is a mish-mash of my experience in Australian high schools, my vast DVD collection of American teen TV dramas and movies (mean girls ftw!), and what I saw on Skins...so, no need to tell me I got something wrong...it's a pretty safe bet that it's all wrong!
For those of you wondering - I will finish my other fic...just suffering some writers block and hoping that if I continue on with this it might resolve itself...and hopefully soon :)
Anyways hope you enjoy!
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Naomi hovers at the gate and watches the crowd of students mingle about and meander into the college slowly. It's colder in the morning here than she's used to, windier, and she pulls her cardigan closed across her chest and slides the sleeves over her hands. The material is grey and nondescript, just like the rest of her clothing; dark skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt and some sneakers. Over the years she's learnt how to not stand out.
She sweeps some stray blonde hair away from her face and glances around the grounds. It's not an unattractive college, recently built with modern, concrete and glass buildings and manicured lawns. Nicer than most of the schools she been to, and there have been a few. But she's sure that it's like all the others on the inside. They're always the same. Disillusioned and underpaid teachers. Apathetic and disaffected students. She doesn't expect it to be any different this time. But all she needs to do is keep her head down this year and get her A-Levels.
If she's here long enough.
She hitches her bag up higher on her shoulder and takes one last deep breath, resigning herself to her fate, then forces her legs to move and makes her way through the front entrance. She's done this so many times now that she shouldn't be nervous, but she is. Can't seem to shake that anxious feeling in her stomach she always gets when she's thrown into a whole new group of students.
Forever the 'new girl'.
Halfway up the steps she hears yelling and shrieking coming from behind her and instinctively turns her head. A fight has broken about between two meat head guys, each one pushing at the other as one girl, who Naomi presumes to be the cause of the fight, screams at them to stop. The blonde shakes her head. From her very limited experience she's learnt that teenage boys are very stupid. Although she's pretty sure most teenager girls are stupid too. Half the reason she's never had any friends.
As she turns her head back around to keep walking something catches her eye and she freezes. At first it's a colour, a brilliant fiery red. It takes her a second to realise that it's hair. She squints. She's never seen hair that radiant shade before. It changes colour as it reflects the sun and Naomi thinks it looks like fire. Thinks that whoever died their hair that colour must be pretty self-assured to pull it off. Briefly wishes she could be like that.
Her focus then shifts to the girl in question and her eyes widen slightly. Not that she can see much of her, because the petite redhead is pushing a brunette girl up against a tree, their mouths fused together in a frantic kiss, hands roaming all over each other unashamedly, as if they don't know that they're putting on a show for every teenage boy in the vacinity.
Naomi knows she's staring. Knows she's been looking at them far longer than is polite, but she can't seem to tear her eyes away. Even from this far away it's almost like she can feel the energy emanating from the redhead. Frenzied and loud and brash. She barely notices the brunette.
It's all red.
She watches the girl slide her hand up the brunette's thigh and under her skirt, and feels her own stomach flip. It's enough to startle her out of her daze, and she dismisses the feeling quickly as she turns to continue walking up the steps.
Two boys rush past her and almost knock her to the ground. One with wild bushy hair and braces, the other a little rough looking but still kind of cute. Neither boy stops to help her steady herself, in fact they don't seem to notice her at all, and she thinks that yes, this is going to be exactly like every other school she's been to. Not that she actually expected it to be any different. Or wants it to be.
She shakes it off and makes her way inside, faintly catching bits and pieces of the boys' conversation. Something about their friend Emilio hooking up with a '10' last night. Naomi rolls her eyes. Stupid horny teenage boys rating their conquests. The same everywhere. She used to catch the bus home from school with a bunch of boys a couple of years older than her...and the things she heard them talking about were things she could have gone her whole life without knowing.
The familiar anxiousness tightens her chest. She isn't sure where she's going, but thankfully there are teachers standing in the corridors, herding them like cattle, directing first years into the theatre hall and second years into the gym. It's the first day of school and the teacher's already look like they don't want to be there.
Not an encouraging sign.
She notices that she's following the two boys into the gym and rolls her eyes. Hopes that she's not in their class.
She's part of the last group that trickles in, and groans inwardly when she finds the bleachers are almost full. She glances around quickly and feels her heart beat a little faster as she tries to determine the best place to sit. Feels self-conscious, knowing that people are staring at the new girl, and makes her way to some clear space in the back corner. She can feel people looking at her as she moves up to the back, but she keeps her head down. Tries not to hear the hushed conversations about the new girl.
Finally she takes her seat just as a tall slim woman with dark brown hair steps out from the line of teachers in the middle of the basketball court. She calls for quiet, which takes about three minutes to achieve, but eventually the crowd of students are more or less silent, or at least no longer throwing balls of paper and talking on their phones. She introduces herself as Harriet, and the name sounds vaguely familiar to Naomi. Thinks that her mum probably mentioned her. She's obviously the head of the college, and as she starts her speech welcoming the returning students and the few new ones Naomi zones out, glancing at the crowd around her instead.
She spots the stereotypes straight away – they're almost comical in their adherence to the various clichés. So easy to pick out.
The nerds are predictably down the front, some of them even have notebooks open with pens hovering above, prepared to note down anything of importance. Naomi can't imagine anything important being said to a crowd of 300 teenagers, but even if there was she's pretty sure she's heard it before at another school.
Her eyes wander back from the nerds and she spots the pretty girls sitting in the middle of the crowd, immaculately made up with bouncy hair and flawless make-up. Short skirts and cute little tops. They aren't paying attention to Harriet either, one of them checking her phone and one flicking through a magazine while the rest of them whisper covertly. They seem to have two leaders, both with brown hair, which surprises Naomi a little. In her experience it's usually the blonde's that are in charge in these cliques. She can't see any of their faces, but they have an air of arrogance and power about them. A blonde girl, kind of innocent looking, seems to fawn over both of them.
Next to the pretty girls are the cute boys. Of course. Cute boys always follow the pretty girls. The two groups seem to exchange flirty glances every now and then. She notices two boys in particular, one tall and lanky and cute, with floppy black hair and olive skin, the other quite solid with dark skin and a warm bright smile that he seems to wear most of the time. The tall one catches her staring and smiles, a dazzling smile that causes a flutter low in her stomach and her heart to race a little. He nods as if saying hello, and Naomi smiles tightly before glancing away. She never knows how to deal with attention from boys.
She plays with her fingers for a few seconds while she calms herself, picks at her already chipped bright blue nail polish. Her nails are always brightly coloured, despite not wanting to draw attention to herself. Pink, blue, purple, orange, green. It's her subtle rebellion. One of the only aspects of her personality that she displays outwardly. Plus, she likes the colours.
She shifts her focus back up the stands, finds the emo kids, the Goths, the art and drama kids. Naomi knows she doesn't fit into any of those groups. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She doesn't make friends easily...or at all really. She'd grown up awkward and gawky, with limbs too long for her body. Glasses too big for her face. Clothes that were never quite cool enough, no matter how hard she tried. When she was fifteen she'd finally grown into her body, woken up one morning with boobs and hips. Her puppy fat gone. She'd begged her mum for contact lenses so she wouldn't be teased anymore. Suddenly the girls stopped picking on her and wanted to be her friend. The boys leered at her during class and made innuendo laden comments. But she didn't know how to make friends, felt awkward and insecure around people her own age, so mostly ignored them. When she looks in the mirror now she sees the same pretty blonde girl everyone else does, but still feels like a chubby nerdy kid with glasses, who prefers to stay home and read a book rather than getting drunk at a party.
She flicks her eyes to the opposite corner of the bleachers and feels her breath hitch as her lungs contract. Fiery red hair. And the girl it belongs to. Sitting with those two boys that almost bowled her over on the way in. The two boys are nudging each other and whispering, the cute one opening his mouth in a near silent chuckle every so often, making vulgar gestures with his hands. But the girl is sitting with her legs crossed and her head down, peering at a book she's holding low in her lap. The boys try several times to engage her but she ignores them, seemingly transfixed by what she's reading.
Naomi finds herself wanting to know what that book is. Wants to know what could make the redhead with so much energy before so still now. She wonders briefly if maybe it's not the same girl. Maybe she has a twin or something, because this girl seems nothing like the one from outside.
She starts to wonder about other things. Like whom the brunette girl is that the redhead was kissing outside, and why they aren't sitting together now. Doesn't want to think about why she might care.
Her eyes trail over the girl. She's wearing short dark-blue shorts with dark tights underneath, a white singlet and a bold yellow cardigan. It shouldn't work but it does. Naomi figures that she's just one of those effortlessly cool girls that she envies so much.
She isn't sure how long she's been staring but suddenly the redhead lifts her head and turns quickly to look directly at her, as if she knew Naomi had been studying her this whole time.
She peers at Naomi through narrowed eyes, almost questioningly, and there's an anger and abrasiveness behind them that almost makes Naomi flinch. She's pinned down by them, feels like she's been found out, exposed in a way she can't quite define.
But then the redhead's expression changes, softens, the anger drained from her gaze, with a look that steals the breath right from Naomi's chest. For some inexplicable reason the blonde thinks that maybe she's not the only one feeling exposed.
She knows she should look away. Her brain is screaming for her to look away, but that fluttering feeling is back in her stomach and her heart is pumping faster as the redhead is holding her gaze like she's some kind of magnet.
The girl continues to stare for what feels to Naomi like an eternity, before the blonde notices her lips curling into a smirk. It's hard and mocking and Naomi knows exactly what that look means, and suddenly she feels like she's thirteen again getting belittled in the playground by the class queen bee.
The feeling forces her eyes down and she stares at her feet. Can't help wondering if the redhead is still looking at her, then what the fuck that just was. Puts it down to first day nerves because it's too complicated to think about what else it might be.
Her eyes are glued to the floor for the rest of the assembly, not daring to look up at the redhead, despite their weird little staring contest being the only thing she can think about. She tries to focus on what Harriet is saying but it floats around her head without anything actually sinking in. She doesn't even realise they've all been excused until the noise erupts from the students as they stand and carry on their conversations.
She grabs her bag and stands, finally chances a sly glance over at the redhead but she's gone, and so are the two boys she was with. Naomi scans the throng of students bottle-necked at the exits but doesn't spot the blazing red hair. Shakes her head because she doesn't even know why she's looking.
She's at the back of the pack and one of the last students to exit the gym, then follows the signs to her home room, the number of which was sent to her in her enrolment pack. The corridors have well and truly emptied by the time she finds the room and she knows she's late, opening the door quietly and trying to slip inside without causing any disruption. Doesn't quite pull it off. The teacher at the front notices her intrusion immediately, pauses in the middle of writing on the whiteboard and turns around to greet her.
"Another fucking one," he complains in a thick Irish accent.
Naomi frowns and feels slightly affronted. She's not used to teachers swearing, but then again this guy doesn't quite look like a teacher either. Shaggy – that's probably the best word to describe him. Messy hair and unruly beard, untucked shirt and mismatched clothing. If he was younger he'd look like a uni student. But he's old and he just looks tired and pissed off.
He looks at her and gestures to the classroom full of desks that Naomi has been ignoring, not yet ready to meet her classmates.
"Go on then," he urges her. "Find an empty fucking seat."
She smiles nervously as he turns back to the whiteboard, then she swivels around to peer at the classroom full of students, their hushed conversations buzzing around her.
She stands there like an idiot scanning the tables for an empty seat and finds some of the faces she'd noticed in the assembly. The two pretty brunette girls are sitting in the middle row with the blonde girl next to them, all staring back at her with friendly smiles. Naomi feels like they might not be the bitches she expected them to be. The one with the longer hair has piercing blue eyes and Naomi feels slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. The other brunette is not quite a brunette, her hair shining a subtle shade of purple under the lights now that Naomi can see it more clearly. She also looks familiar, but the blonde has had that many classmates that everyone starts to look familiar after you've been to a few schools.
The cute dark-haired boy who smiled at her is sitting in front of the girls with the dark-skinned boy, both smiling at her warmly. The dark-haired boy winks at her. She glances away, feeling uncomfortable with his attention. She supposes he might be flirting with her, and she has no fucking idea how to handle that.
She shifts her gaze up to the back and when she sees fiery red her heart stops. The girl with the blazing hair is sitting in the corner, scratching at the desk with a pen and ignoring her completely. She's sitting one seat apart from the two boys she was with in the assembly, the cute one relaxing back in his chair with his feet up on the table and the bushy haired one staring into space and talking very fast about something Naomi can't make out.
There are only two spare seats in the whole classroom and Naomi feels like the universe is trying to punish her for something. One is next to the redhead, the other in the middle row next to the blonde girl, directly in front of the redhead and directly behind the dark-haired boy who smiled and winked at her.
She bites her lip. Not much of a fucking choice, but she's not brave enough to sit next to the redhead, even if she does want to...which she doesn't...probably. The blonde girl is grinning at her and excitedly pointing to the empty seat next to her, so Naomi moves forward tentatively and pulls out the chair.
"Hi," she mumbles with a smile as she sits down.
The blonde's face lights up. "Wizzer! I was hopin' you'd sit next to me. I'm Pandora, I like your hair."
Naomi feels a little overwhelmed by Pandora's intense energy, but at least it's friendly and welcoming. She finds herself smiling back naturally, subconsciously fiddling with her hair which she'd braided this morning.
"Thanks, I'm Naomi."
"Naomi," Pandora echoes, her voice about three octaves higher than the blonde's. "That's a flippin' cool name. Not like mine." She throws her arm out to her other side. "This is Effy," she points to the one with the blue eyes, who nods back at Naomi, "and this is Katie," she points to the other, "we're the bestest friends in the flippin' world."
Naomi keeps her smile fixed in place, feels Effy gaze at her intently while Katie only glances at her briefly in acknowledgement, before looking back down at her magazine. Naomi tries not to take it personally. Also tries not to think about whether the redhead has noticed her yet.
"Right," the teacher announces, drawing Naomi's attention back to the front of the class.
She turns her head just in time to catch the dark haired boy staring at her before he turns back around. She furrows her brow and wonders what the fuck is going on. She's used to the usual general interest that she generates being the new girl, but this is just odd. She touches her forehead subtly to make sure nothing sprouted since she left the house this morning.
"Alright. I don't want to be here anymore than you do, but we're stuck together all year so let's try not to hate each other."
Naomi scoffs at the inspiring speech. She's never had a teacher like this guy before. Maybe Bristol College isn't going to be like all the others.
"Now I don't particularly care who any of you are but the college thinks that if we all stand up and introduce ourselves we'll all get along better." He scratches his beard. "Although I guess most of you know each other from last year. But fuck it, I've forgotten who half of you are so I'll go first. I'm Kieran, and I hate being a fucking teacher. Who's next? You, big guy."
He points to the dark-haired boy in front of Naomi and he stands, slips his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Naomi notices some scrapes down his forearms and wonders how he got them. He looks like a skater, he probably got them showing off. He looks the type, with his hair falling all over his forehead, loose careless clothing and cocky attitude.
"Uh, I'm Freddie...and I recently discovered that I like blonde haired girls with ice blue eyes."
Naomi's whole body freezes, her breath catches in her throat, thinks that he couldn't possibly be talking about her, maybe he's talking about Pandora, until he turns around briefly and winks at her. She's pretty sure that her heart actually stops, and then thumps against her ribs a few seconds later. She shifts uncomfortably in her chair. But there's something about his warm brown eyes that draws her in.
She hears mocking laughter behind her and tries to ignore it. Knows that it must be coming from the redhead because she's the only girl back there and it's definitely coming from a girl. Wonders what she did to piss that girl off.
Oh right, the creepy staring.
The rest of the class seems unfazed by the whole encounter, and Naomi tries to slow down her heartbeat with deep calming breaths.
"That's fucking marvellous," Kieran adds dryly. "You next."
The dark-skinned boy stands. "Hello, I am Thomas." He speaks with a thick African accent. "I was born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo but I came to Bristol last year to escape the war in my country and to have a better life here. I like this country very much."
He flashes a brilliant bright smile and Naomi finds herself smiling back. He seems genuinely nice and she knows all about the horrors of the war in the Congo thanks to her mum.
It's Katie's turn next, and she stands with a flirtatious flick of her hair and a confident smile. Sweeps her fringe behind her ear.
"I'm Katie," Naomi notices she has a slight lisp, "and next year I'm going to go to university in London and study fashion design."
She grins and then takes her seat again, and Effy stands up slowly.
"I'm Effy. My parents got divorced over the summer because my mum was having an affair."
Her voice is flat and monotone, and Naomi wonders for a second if Effy's telling the truth or just messing with everyone. Her intense blue eyes don't give anything away.
Pandora jumps to her feet next, and Naomi's heart beats a little faster knowing that she's next.
"I'm Pandora, but everyone calls me Panda...I had a ripper summer, and now I'm just happy to be back at college with all my friends."
She gives a small little wave to the class and giggles, then takes her seat, and Naomi takes a deep breath because it's her turn.
She stands up slowly. She's done this before at some of her other schools and she was nervous enough then, but with the weird start to the morning her legs are feeling like jelly.
"Hi," she croaks out, winces in embarrassment then clears her throat and tries again. "Hi. I'm Naomi. I just moved to Bristol with my mum but I've lived all over...we were living in Australia last year."
She smiles tightly and sits back down. Hears whispering behind her and forces herself not to turn around, is thankful when the next person gets up and diverts the attention from her.
A few more of her classmates have their turn and then Naomi knows that it's time for the three in the back row. Hears a chair scrape angrily across the linoleum floor.
"I'm JJ. With regard to mathematic aptitude I'm in the top 0.3% of the population which is an interesting demographic statistic because paradoxically my communication interpersonal and intuitive skills are towards the lower quartiles."
Naomi guesses that it must be the bushy haired boy and smiles. He actually seems quite sweet. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Pandora turn around and wave at him.
"I'm Cook...and I don't give a fuck."
Kieran scoffs. "Well we're in agreement there. You, redhead, last one. Thank fucking god."
Naomi stiffens. Feels like no other sound exists in the room other than the scraping of a chair and the beating of her heart.
"I'm Emily..."
She feels her stomach flip again and hands tighten into fists. Something about Emily's husky voice warms her skin. She can't stop herself from turning to look at her, and when she does her stomach clenches into a knot, because Emily is staring right at her. Talking right to her, her dark eyes blazing with something Naomi can't name, drawing her in like a magnet again.
"...and probably 98% of what you've all heard about me is true," she smirks, "although my dear twin Katie probably doesn't want you all to think that."
Naomi frowns. Twin? Katie?
She turns back to Katie who's rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Glances back to Emily who's smirking at her. Back to Katie.
How could she not have seen it? They aren't identical, but they look similar at a glance. The same button nose and doe eyes, though Emily's are a little wider than her sister's, her chin a little more pointed, Katie's face a little fuller. Emily's lips curl up a fraction more.
It's obvious to her now that they are sisters, twins, but they seem so different that she hadn't even put it together. Emily seems fierce and abrasive, while Katie looks to be controlled and polite. They seem to be complete opposites.
And what the hell had people heard about Emily that was true?
She looks back to Emily, who's still standing and smirking at her.
"Oh, and I like blonde's with ice blue eyes too."
Her voice is mocking and cruel, and Naomi blinks hard and turns around, tries to concentrate on getting air into her lungs. Swallows and finds her throat dry. She hears chuckling behind her, mumbled swearing in front of her and Katie's hushed complaining next to her.
Fucking hell.
And this is only the first morning.
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So what do you think so far? I'm kind of excited about it, but there's no point me continuing if no one else is, so please let me know...I will warn you that it's going to be pretty angsty...like 75% angst, 20% sexy-angst, and 5% fluff...I loves me some angst...but we all know the Naomily love cannot be denied..just delayed :P
Chapters probably won't normally be this long, (er...maybe), but I just wanted to give you guys a good idea of where I will be taking this.
So shoot me a review and let me know what you think! Should I keep going?
peace out,
audrey :)
By the way, the title for this story is from my favourite e. e. cummings poem, which is generally referred to by its first line, 'somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond', (he never titled his poems). It's so beautiful and fits perfectly with an epic love like Emily and Naomi's. You should read it and swoon...
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which I cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
Grammar mistakes are intentional...Edward Estlin was a rebel :P
