This story is coauthored by myself, the Dark Lord of All, and my famous lieutenant, Sixty-Four K. *bows dramatically* And yes, Sixty-Four, you are my lieutenant. Go pick my mushrooms now. MWAHAHA!

By the way, this first fabulous chapter is written by 64K. The next installment will be authored by my awesome self! Enjoy.. Or not... we are not responsible for any insanity this tale may cause...


Chapter One: Galion's Holiday

"My lord?"
Thranduil looked up from his Ipad and away from his game to see his butler standing before him. "Can I help you, Galion?" asked the Elvenking, slightly annoyed at the interruption. He'd been only two bounces away from a gold ranking, but the butler's appearance had distracted him, and downgraded his ranking to silver.

Galion's expression fell. "Have I annoyed you, sire?"

"Oh, no, no," said Thranduil, embarrassed that he had been unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"Well," said Galion, absent-mindedly scuffing at the floor with his shoe, "I was wondering if you needed anything right now."

Thranduil thought. "Don't you have anything to do right now?" he asked after a minute of wracking his brain for ideas.

"Not really," said Galion. "I've gotten tomorrow's menu planned, and today's dinner is already cooking. The floors are mopped, the inventory stocked, and the guard schedule worked out for the next week."

Thranduil's face lit up suddenly. "Actually, Galion," he began, "there is something that you could do for me..."

"Tell me if I've anticipated your request correctly, sire," said Galion, pulling a bottle of Dorwinion and a golden goblet seemingly from midair.

"Ah, yes," said Thranduil. "You can read my mind, it seems. Whatever would I do without you, Galion?"
"You'd survive," said Galion, holding the goblet behind his back and pouring the wine over his shoulder into it without spilling on his blue robe.

"Well, you're probably right, but- wait, what are you doing? You're going to waste good Dorwinion by spilling."

"In all of my years of service to you, my lord, have I ever spilled a drop of Dorwinion?" asked Galion, handing the goblet to Thranduil with a charming smile.

"Well, there was that time that you fell down the-"

"Yes, well, that was Legolas' fault," interrupted Galion hastily. "Anyway, you'll survive. I'll be off, now."

"What?" shouted Thranduil. "Where are you going?"

"No need to shout," said Galion, picking up his packed bags, which Thranduil had only just noticed. "I'm off on holiday for the weekend. Don't worry, everything's taken care of. I wouldn't leave you stranded, would I? Feren's taking over cleaning duties for the time being, and young Lethuin is going to be playing cook. You're in good hands, sire."

Before Thranduil could say anything more, Galion turned on his heel, leaving the throne room. Feren met him in the hall. "Did he say you could?"

"Well, he didn't say no," said Galion, tying a cloak around his neck. "You'll do fine, don't worry."

Feren groaned. "I'm too nice to you- good gravy, does mopping take a lot out of a fellow."

"Just be glad that you don't have to do it every day," said Galion. "Be nice to the Elvenking, and have fun." With that, he exited the halls of the Elvenking, leaving the still-groaning Feren behind him.

Galion travelled in his usual stealthy way for an hour or so- that was all it took for him to reach Barad-Dur, his holiday destination. Galion stared up at the black towers with exuberant trepidation. He could hardly wait- the Dark Lord had promised him a very fun holiday, with only light work. Of course, Galion would return to the Elvenking after the weekend was over- he wasn't so disloyal as all that, but he was really looking forward to his weekend.

The dark gates swung open, and an orc poked his conspicuous head through the opening. "Enter," he said sonorously. "My master has been expecting you."

Galion nodded courteously to the orc and entered. As he walked towards the door of the tower, the orc watched his retreating back. He snickered. "I certainly hope that you enjoy your stay," he said, loudly enough for Galion to hear. Then, he whispered to himself, "though I sincerely doubt it."


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