Something to Think About

My release from the hospital went smoothly. Martin picked me up and took me to Ruth's to get James. We had returned to Fern Cottage that night for my first night home. Martin had cared for me with kid gloves...making me comfortable, dispensing my meds and taking James' care completely, so I had no concern. As soon as I emerged from my totally narcotized sleep he and James Henry had joined me for a bit of family time and playtime so I eased myself back to reality. James Henry was pulling up and cruising so the first story had been child proofed and fortified for a toddler's exploration. Martin fed me and kept me company, but he hung back, knowing that I had told him I needed a break from him. I was torn. In a way I regretted what I had done, but in another way I knew it was absolutely necessary.

We had to come to a solution although I could have melted into Martin's arms knowing he had tried to follow me to Spain. "Don't want to be the boy who called wolf," I figured. A lot of machination had been going on while I recovered and Morwenna showed up on the second day I was home.

"Well, Mrs. Ellingham...Louisa...this is what we have. I have lots of extra room so you and James can stay at the house. The Doc says he will compensate me in my check because he feels that you and James are his responsibility...that's just icing on the cake for me. Bottom line, I'd love you to stay. I would have you any way.

Well, it was not going to Spain...but it did get me away from Martin which was my original plan. My Mom and I had talked and she would visit soon and help me out. She'd grown attached to James Henry and couldn't wait to see him again. So, I agreed, I'd move in with Morwenna for a while. It was incestuous, but better than nothing.

Martin was stoic throughout the process. I knew he wanted me to stay before my escape attempt, but now he seemed determined to make things right. He seemed to want me out so we could assess our situation. It scared me, because I wasn't sure I wanted to go. Al and his friend had moved the changing table into our room just as I fitted the last baby gate into the downstairs doorway. Morwenna's living room provided scads of room for toddler exploring...no sharp corners...nice soft furniture. James' blocks and toys were scattered about. They wouldn't disturb anyone here. "Alright, that's it," Al declared. "Oh, thank you Al...thank you Morwenna...thank you so much. I hope this will be ok for you."I said. "Well, as we are going to the Pub for quiz night, it should be fine. We'll see you when we see you," answered Morwenna.

I made my supper and something for James. We played for a while after dinner and I gave James his bath and read him a story. While I read him the story I couldn't help but look at him and see Martin's head and wispy hair and his eyes and inevitably, his ears. He was his father's son, especially at 90th percentile for height. I guess I wished the phone would ring, but it didn't. I had told Martin I needed to get away but he had taken it so literally.

As time carried on, Al and Morwenna became closer. There were nights when Al was here. There were nights when Morwenna stayed at the farm while the remodeling was going on. It didn't take long before James and I lived at Morwenna's alone. Morwenna was entirely happy. "I love having someone at the house. This is so great..you can make sure to keep an eye on the place...and you and James can have your privacy! What could be more perfect?" she exclaimed. She and Al stayed at the farm while she still worked for Martin. As such, I got a bit of news about Martin and he and I talked as he took James for visitation but it seemed I wanted more. He seemed so sad all the time and dutifully left me alone. Something was missing in my life and I knew what it was.

I kept in touch with my friends and they were an important social outlet. Pippa from school called me and said, "Louisa, we haven't heard from you in weeks. We have to get you out. Get a sitter and join Allison Hardy and I for our "Girl's Day Out Picnic". You think you could manage that?" I told her that I couldn't miss it. "Girl's Day Out" was a time when we would meet and walk to to a gorgeous spot along the coast trail and share drinks and food surrounded by nature and loads of gossip and laughter. I had to make it. It's just what I needed.