To Bert-Wrighty belated Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoy buddy!

Notes: This will hopefully turn into a series of entries spanning across all Warden origins. Chapters will probably be short bite sized pieces.
Hope you all like it, please let me know what you think.

The Warden Journals - Amell

Journal Entry 10 – To Lothering

On the road again, this endless trudging is near unbearable. Hard packed dirt jarring me with each step, dust from the others in front of me hang in the air making me cough and my eyes water as I follow in their wake. It's miserable — this road to Lothering. I'm tired all the time and sore but I wouldn't have it any other way.

In the Circle life was comfortable. A gilded cage where hard work meant concentration and focus. On the road, the physical hardship grounded down my joints till the muscles surrounding it swelled. But in truth, this arduous journey does not eclipse the sense of freedom I now have. I had been in the Circle since young and never really knew how good it could feel to be able to walk about in the open air with companions I trusted and companions that trusted me with their very lives. So exhilarating — just like that first day when the open road stretched out before my eyes, the sheer magnitude of freedom within my grasp, making me dizzy. It must be what a hound feels when it finally breaks loose of the leash. I was no longer bound by those who feared my abilities and sought to control me. No longer weighed down by the shackles of those who oppressed me, I tasted freedom and the Templar guard would no longer restrain me.

So this walking is not all bad, I suppose… we get to have breaks, I call for them often. I guess there is one thing I would change if I could. My fitness and battle readiness is more likened to that of a librarian than a warrior and nothing like Alistair's or Leliana's. Even Morrigan who has not been in battle much is used to traversing the Wilds. Together they protect me in their midst and I do what I can with my magic along with the witch. I spoke to Leli once about it, one night at camp when we were both on watch. She was telling me a story of Orlais' first female Chevalier. That night I had confessed how inadequate I felt to be a Warden, let alone a leader. She said, a great leader doesn't always mean the strongest.

Leliana… she makes me feel… so…

I don't know… it's strange. I feel something for her — a pull, ever lingering in the back of my mind. She's a complete mystery to me, despite how openly we talk and banter. Her light draws me like a moth and often at night I find my way to her side listening to her stories. In the morning, my heart skips... my being hums with lightning when she emerges out of her tent hair still messed from sleep. Those clear blue eyes twinkle as they greet me. Those eyes — I find I search them out for encouragement whenever I'm unsure, her trust giving me all the confidence I need in one gaze.

Oh Maker, I'm babbling again!

Dear Journal, please completely discard whatever it is I just wrote.

Well rest is over… time to walk again. I must say the tree I've just been leaning on as I write was surprisingly comfortable. I'll be glad when we set up camp again. Leliana promised me another story.

Hmm… my eyes have wondered to her again. Don't know what I'd do if she ever looks back and catches me gawking.

...

AN: Big Thanks to Aeowyn99 for looking through this for me :)