First off, I apologize. I just had this idea in my head and needed to get it out. I don't claim this to be good, but hopefully someone enjoys it! It probably has a bunch of mistakes, and I might make edits later, but for now I'm just writing it in the spare time I have. All mentioned characters belong to BioWare and Dragon Age: Inquisition! I just love them so I decided to play around a little.


It was by pure accident that Cullen stumbled upon it.

He was making his rounds, taking his casual stroll through the barracks to make sure everything was in order. His soldiers were already up and on their patrols around Skyhold, so their quarters were all but deserted.

He walked slowly through the long room, filled to the brim with bunk beds, until a piece of paper caught his eye from one of the beds. The soldiers were not permitted any materials apart from the occasional status report or list of their weekly duties.

Judging from the colorfulness of the page, this was neither.

With a small growl, Cullen stepped forth and plucked the page from its spot peeking out from beneath the blanket of the bed.

His growl was instantly caught in his throat and came out as somewhat of a strangled whimper, for on the page was the inquisitor, stripped completely bare and laying on her back, staring up at him and causing his mouth to go dry and his armor to grow a bit tighter.

Her eyes were half lidded, her hands were clutching her ample breasts tightly in her hands, and her long legs were spread wide. Her cheeks were flushed, hair forming a halo around her head on the pillow she lay on.

He blushed and looked away from the page.

He cleared his throat and looked around the room, ensuring that he was alone. Finding that he was, Cullen tucked the page inside his breastplate and walked back to his office.

Once inside, he opened his bottom drawer and placed the paper inside, covering it with some reports before he slammed the drawer shut. He sat down in his chair and rubbed his forehead.

This had to be addressed. He could not just let this go, he had to tell her-

Cullen sighed in despair at that thought.

She deserved to know about…this thing. She was clearly the injured party in this, so he needed to inform her of what was going on. But the thought of confronting her with it made him quite uncomfortable.

His relationship with the inquisitor was…fragile. She had often flirted with him and made it a point to come talk to him as often as she could, but if he were to just hand her this, she would know that he had seen it and she would probably be mortified and never be able to look at him without thinking about this… despicable image.

He recalled reading somewhere that the same thing had happened to Divine Rosamund, the youngest and most beautiful Divine ever put on the sunburst throne. But the inquisitor?

Maker, people were twisted.

Cullen thought for a few more minutes on whether or not to tell her, but he decided against it.

For now, it was only one isolated incident, and he surely did not want to put his relationship with her in jeopardy over…this.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, trying his hardest to erase the image from his mind. He breathed in deeply and calmed himself. Eventually he was able to put it from his mind, though it was no easy feat.

The inquisitor was….absolutely breathtaking. When he first saw her, he was in awe by her. When she first flirted with him, he thought he was dreaming. When she asked about vows of celibacy, he nearly bit a hole in his cheek.

She captivated him just by being in the same room, and he was determined not to let anything get in the way of his chances of being with her.

The next day, Cullen did his morning round once again. This time, he found another one of the images, but it was partially tucked under the very first bed's pillow.

He grabbed the page, not bothering to look at it, and tucked it into his breastplate.

About an hour later, he had called every single soldier in Skyhold into the barracks and forced an impromptu inspection of their quarters.

Fifteen pages were found, all in all.

This was ridiculous.

He grilled one soldier for information of where they were getting these infernal images, and learned that the soldiers did not actually know where the images were coming from, only that they would find the pages in their mail.

Once Cullen dismissed the soldier, he examined the pages closely. He found a watermark on every page that he recognized as the watermark of Andraste's Arse, a less than savory publishing company that was known for these kinds of things.

He knew that the company did these kinds of images of Empress Celene and her servants, but it seemed that they had moved on to depicting the inquisitor in these foul images.

Cullen rubbed his neck as he stared down at one page in particular.

It was filthy, all of it.

But….Maker save him, he couldn't look away.

The image he was staring at showed her down on her knees, her eyes looking up at him with her lips wrapped around a cock.

He felt his breaths speed up, and his own cock straining against his breeches as he stared down at the images strewn across his desk.

In a moment of complete and utter weakness, he reached down and cupped himself through his breeches and began to slowly stroke himself as her eyes stared up at him-

The door to his office flew open, and, of course, she strode in, a wide smile on her full lips.

He jumped up immediately, a blush coming to his cheeks as he scrambled to grab all of the pages and shove them into his desk drawer, "Inquisitor!" he said.

Cullen watched in horror as one page fell to the ground at her feet.

It seemed to happen in slow motion as she leaned down and grasped the page between her fingers, bringing it up to look at it.