The Four Stages of Emily Prentiss' Sexual Orientation
1. Heterosexual
"What is it you wanted to talk about, Pen?"
"Ah, yes. Well, I guess I'll just do it the easy way." Penelope Garcia paused, looking at Emily. "I'm pansexual. And NO, that does NOT mean I am attracted to pans. It means I can feel attraction to anyone of any gender."
Emily smiled. "That's really cool, Penelope."
"What about you?" Penelope asked.
"What about me?"
"Your sexual orientation," Penelope inquired, cocking her head at Emily and looking at her curiously. "What are you, Emily?"
"What? I'm straight, Penelope. You know that." Emily replied, confused as to why the blonde was so interested.
Penelope wiggled her eyebrows. "Whatever you say, Em."
"Well, Penelope, you've certainly gone crazy. Now I'm going to leave you alone, so you keep being sexually attracted to pans." Emily replied, standing up to leave the perky blonde's office.
"Everyone's a little gay, Emily."
"Sure, Pen. You have a good night."
Emily gathered her belongings from her own desk after leaving Penelope's office and drove home, all while thinking about Penelope's words. Everyone's a little gay, Emily.
Emily shook her head. No, everyone's not a little gay. I'm not, because I'm straight. I don't feel sexual attraction to women. She tried to shake Penelope's words out of her head, but they stuck there like glue.
She knew if she thought about it for any longer, it would end up bothering her until the end of time, and she had other, more important things to worry about.
She laid back in bed, whispering to herself, "You're straight, Emily." And she fell asleep, not once thinking about it again that night.
Over the next few weeks, she found herself still thinking about Penelope's words. "You're straight. You know that." She's day to herself over and over when her eyes would linger on a woman's cleavage for just a second too long. "Jesus, Em, its nothing to get super worked up about. It's just a sexual orientation."
Emily started being in a small constant state of unease over this. One part of her didn't care about labels; she just wanted to be able to have feelings without having to put a name to them or herself. Labels are stupid, she thought. But another, stronger part of her mind wanted so desperately for there to be an explanation or a definition for what she felt. She wanted to easily be able to say, "I'm _," If someone asked.
But unfortunately, her mind just couldn't work like that.
And just like that, she couldn't be sure anymore.
2. Heteroflexible
If one were to look at Emily Prentiss' computer history, all they would see if a long list of pride websites.
She was so confused.
'Bisexual with a preference for men' seemed to work at one time, but moments later she decided, she wasn't bisexual.
Emily had grown up in a household where not being heteronormative was looked down upon, and some of those feelings she grew up around still stuck in her mind. She knew that there was absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, or bisexual for that matter, but something inside just made her just feel generally uncomfortable about it.
She was scrolling through yet another list of different sexuality and gender identities, but this one had definitions. Instantly intrigued, she read through and through.
One caught her eye.
Heteroflexible: one who is predominantly attracted to the opposite gender/sex, but may be attracted to other genders/sexes on occasion.
"That's me," Emily said out loud even though she was alone.
Pride and happiness filled Emily along with tears forming in her eyes. There's a label to what I feel.
The next day at work, it was like she'd opened up her eyes and all she could see was rainbows. The first thing she did was go straight to Penelope's office, bursting in without warning.
"How are your pans?" Emily asked, hoping her happiness wasn't gushing out like it seemed to be.
Penelope rolled her eyes but said, "They're just fine, thank you. Now stop saying that before I actually hit you with one."
Emily laughed, and then replied with, "I have something to tell you."
"You're not straight!" Penelope exclaimed hopefully.
Emily ignored this and said, "I've been heavily questioning my sexuality."
"I knew it! What have you figured out?"
"I'm heteroflexible." Emily replied after taking a deep breath.
"So you're still straight." Penelope seemed almost disappointed.
"Ah, but don't forget the flexible,"
Penelope raised her eyebrows. "Whatever you say, Em."
Sighing, Emily exited the office. There was something indefinitely strange about Penelope Garcia.
3. Bisexual
It was another girl's night, on a cool Friday evening. They'd finally finished the case and the plane hadn't landed until after midnight, so Emily, JJ, and Penelope decided just to spend it in with a couple of chick flicks, fake-tasting buttered popcorn, and drinks.
Their second movie had just ended, and JJ yawned and leaned back, her head resting in Emily's lap. JJ stared right up at Emily's chin, and Emily looked right back down into the deep blue eyes of Jennifer Jareau. "Why do these always end with the couple leaning in for a kiss and it fading out to black?" JJ sighed. Penelope had jumped up as soon as the movie ended and was already putting in the disc for the third. The cheery opening credits started, and Emily watched JJ roll her eyes.
JJ sat up after that, but Emily couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to actually have a girlfriend, when she realized, Heteroflexible is too confusing.
She'd finally opened up enough and accepted herself to be able to think: I'm bisexual.
Halfway through this third movie and about a quarter until four am, the audible snores of Penelope Garcia could be heard. Her head was leaning back and her mouth hung open, and Emily and JJ had to stifle their laughter as to try not to wake her up. JJ took the remote and muted the movie, leaning her head against Emily's shoulder.
"Can I just crash here, too, Em?" JJ asked.
"Of course."
The two sat in silence for a moment before JJ spoke up again. "Can I tell you a secret?"
Emily knew JJ was at least a little tipsy, because she'd never been the secret-sharing type.
"I'm bisexual," JJ whispered with a smile, resting her head in Emily's lap again.
"Good for you, Jayje." Emily replied almost bitterly. She was exhausted and didn't want to have to think about her own sexuality at this time.
The room went quiet again. "Have you ever thought about what it would be like to kiss a girl?" JJ asked.
"All the time, Jayje." Emily replied in the same tone of voice. She was not in the mood for these questions, she just wanted to sleep. She began to get up to turn off the movie but JJ pulled at her shirt, stopping her.
Only being able to see by the dim lighting of the TV screen, Emily didn't understand what JJ was doing until she felt soft lips against her own. Emily sat there, frozen at first, until she gave into the kiss, losing her hands in JJ's long golden hair.
When they broke apart for air, all Emily could think was, so that's what it's like to kiss a woman.
She was going to say something to JJ, but she blonde was already asleep, her head pushed up against JJ's thigh. Sighing, Emily leaned back too, and was asleep within a matter of moments.
4. Homosexual
The man's hair was a sandy blond and his eyes were a twinkly blue, but that's all Emily knew. He'd introduced himself after buying her a drink, but she'd forgotten it seconds after that. He was a flirt, and Emily was easy interested.
She allowed him to take her home, and before dropping her off, he pulled her into a kiss. "Call me," he said, flashing her a smooth wink and a grin.
She kissed him back, but she was unsatisfied.
She didn't feel any release, any excitement, and she wasn't sure if that was just because she wasn't interested in him or if it was something else.
His skin was too rough, and his stubbly unshaven shin scratched against hers. His hands were too strong and too controlling, and Emily found herself craving a lighter, gentler touch.
When she got inside, she was unhappy. She'd only had a couple of drinks, so she was sure she was sober, but that wasn't what was bothering her.
She was questioning her sexuality again.
This time it was more obvious. She didn't need any list to tell her what she was.
"I'm gay," She said tentatively out loud, even though she knew no one would hear. "I'm gay." She repeated, this time more confident.
She collapsed into bed, pushing all thoughts of the blond man out of her mind, and her head filled with pictures of JJ. But when she woke up, she didn't remember.
It was another one of the mornings where she went straight to Garcia's office. This time, without any hesitation, she blurted out, "Penelope, I'm gay."
Penelope jumped out of her chair towards Emily and pulled her into a hug, practically squealing. "I'm so happy for you!" She exclaimed.
"Who else knows?" Penelope asked when she broke away from the hug.
"Nobody," Emily replied. "I didn't realize it until last night."
Suddenly, Penelope went running down the hall and through the bullpen as fast as her platform heels could take her, straight up to Hotch's office. "Wait, Penelope, what are you doing?"
Without knocking, Penelope burst into Hotch's office and Emily ran up behind her. "You and Rossi both owe me ten bucks!" She exclaimed.
"You were taking bets on my sexuality?!" Emily exclaimed, as Hotch sighed and handed the blonde a ten dollar bill.
Penelope didn't at all look ashamed. "Maybe," She said quickly.
Emily wheeled around. "And you were in on it too?" She said to Hotch.
"She made the bet," Hotch answered, giving a rare smile.
"I cannot believe you guys." Emily sighed.
"Now let's go find JJ," Penelope brought up. "I saw you two the other night. Didn't you notice I'd stopped snoring?"
Emily ignored this as Penelope dragged her off to JJ's office and instead thought about other things. "Wait. Is that why you were so interested in my sex life?"
"Maybe," Penelope peeped out. "Now shut up. You have things to tell JJ."
Emily sighed again and rolled her eyes.
