My first FFVII AC fanfic~ I like how this one came out. I hope you will too!
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"Kaa-san," Kadaj breathed softly, feeling the life ebb out of him as he reached for the offered hand. The pain lessened, then vanished as he grasped Mother's hand, a feeling of warmth and weightlessness spreading through him at the contact, and he drifted up and away into the gentle white light…
--
He blinked, confused.
He was standing in a place of absolute white, no walls, no ceiling, no anything, just white as far as he could see. It was the inverse of complete darkness, just as disorientating as having his eyes open and being unable to see anything in a place where all light was absent. The only thing with color was himself, and thus was the only thing that convinced Kadaj that he could still see.
But it was a strange place. With nothing better to do, with no idea where he was, Kadaj began to wander, marveling at how his feet came to rest against something apparently solid. The elevation never changed (that he could tell) and so he just walked along, noticing how his footsteps barely made a sound in this empty land.
He didn't know how long he had been walking before he noticed the black speck in the distance, barely a pinpoint of color. He rubbed his eyes but the spot persisted, growing larger as he walked towards it (which helped to prove that he was indeed moving; it was hard to judge travel without landmarks.) He squinted, trying to make out what it was as he approached; once he was about a quarter mile away he noticed the silver and gasped, the sudden ache in his chest so strong and sharp he thought his heart would burst.
He ran, barely believing his eyes, and the ache coupled with the sudden exertion drove him to his knees by the time he reached the thing, gasping for air as tears choked him, gaping up at-
"Sephiroth," he murmured, his voice hardly audiable.
He was suspended in the white abyss, only his upper torso and head visible, the rest fading away to nothing. Head bowed, the silver hair fell forward past his shoulders, partially hiding his face, his eyes shut as if only sleeping. Even like this, he was strong and beautiful and terrible.
This was Sephiroth… Peering up at his face, Kadaj could see the resemblance between them, the silver hair, the porcelain skin. A small smile twitched into existence. This was his older brother; he finally met him. This was Sephiroth—the one Kaa-san loved above all others, Kadaj included. And at that thought his smile disappeared as quickly as it came.
The one Kaa-san loved above all others… Why? Why was he special? Why did Kaa-san loved him more? Agitated, Kadaj reached out and brushed Sephiroth's bangs away to better see his face.
And Sephiroth opened his eyes.
Kadaj froze as the cat-slit eyes—just like his—focused on his face. "Who are you?" Sephiroth whispered, a hint of confusion in his voice.
"Kadaj," he answered, staring. Looking into Sephiroth's face, was like looking into a mirror.
"Kadaj…" It came out like a sigh, and Kadaj's chest tightened painfully. The ache. Sephiroth shifted forward, emerging from and stepping out of the whiteness with a deliberate slowness. Fully revealed, he straightened up, a good head taller than Kadaj, and looked him over, as if seeing him properly this time. "You were the one who called to me… For the Reunion," he said, head tilted to the side.
Kadaj nodded. He remembered Kaa-san, the bright pain building and then evaporating to nothing as his consciousness faded away. And then he remember new pain and saw Cloud standing there, pity in his eyes, and he hated him, but he didn't have the strength to move and-
"You couldn't beat him," Kadaj accused suddenly, angry. Once they got Kaa-san back and had the Reunion, everything was supposed to be okay! But Sephiroth lost! That wasn't how it was supposed to happen!
A dark look passed over Sephiroth's face; he knew exactly to what the other referred. "You destroyed my chance to fulfill Mother's will," he said, with the tone of someone expressing fact, not opinion.
"What? But, you're the one who was defeated—again!" he exclaimed, outraged. "That's not my fault!"
"You were not supposed to take Kaa-san completely unto yourself. She was not yours alone," Sephiroth said. "The Reunion needed all of you. All three."
"What are you talking about?" Kadaj demanded.
"You are fractured fragment of a greater whole," the former SOLDIER said condescendingly. "The sum of which cannot be derived simply from the summation of the parts. All three of you were meant to gestalt with Kaa-san. But you didn't. You took her yourself. You're lucky, you know; horribly lucky."
"Why's that?" Kadaj asked. Considering where he was (where ever that was) and that ultimately he had failed, he didn't feel all that lucky.
"Of all the Remnants, you are most like me, closest in thought and action. Because of this, you were strong enough to withstand Kaa-san when you attempted an incomplete Reunion," Sephiroth explained. "Had it been one of the other two, they would not have been able to withstand Kaa-san's power, and they would have failed."
"Failed how?" Kadaj asked warily.
"When an organism is too weak to resist Kaa-san, she destroys them. They become twisted monsters, a mere shadow of their former selves…" Sephiroth got a strange look in his eyes, as if he was remembering such an occurrence, but the glimmer of sadness quickly passed. "You, at least, were able to withstand that and allow me a short rebirth, no matter how incomplete."
"And how do I know you're not just making this up to cover for you failure?" Kadaj might be tempted to do the same, so why wouldn't Sephiroth?
"Because it hurt, didn't it?" Sephiroth replied, his blue-green eyes boring into Kadaj's own. "When you took Kaa-san into yourself, it hurt like nothing you've ever experienced before, like every cell and fiber in your body was on fire. It was all you could do not to scream in agony, wasn't it?"
Kadaj shuddered at the memory, willing Sephiroth to stop, but he continued.
"And then it was as if all that heat and pain transformed into ice, and you couldn't have taken a breath even if you wanted to. That chill filled your entire body, freezing your limbs and stilling your heart, and you panicked slightly, because losing control of your body is one of the most terrifying experiences in the world and you didn't expect it, didn't know what Kaa-san was doing and you feared."
"Stop it!" Kadaj yelled, blushing. "Yes, that's what happened; now stop!"
Sephiroth smiled, cold and almost cruel. "Had all of you held the Reunion properly, Kaa-san wouldn't have been so angry; it wouldn't have hurt."
"No one told me what to do… I only felt…" Kadaj muttered.
"That is probably your biggest flaw; the Reunion instinct is very weak in you, and nonexistent in the others," Sephiroth remarked, mostly to himself.
Kadaj frowned at the comment, but stopped when Sephiroth looked back at him, contemplative.
"What?" Kadaj asked finally, unable to bare that analytical stare any longer.
"What to do next…" Sephiroth murmured thoughtfully.
"Do you know way out of here?" Kadaj asked. If he could get back, with Sephiroth, there's no way they couldn't kill Cloud and fulfill Kaa-san's will!
"I think I just might…" Sephiroth said slowly, and suddenly he was directly in front of Kadaj, gripping him painfully on the arms.
"Ow, let go!" Kadaj tried pulling back, but Sephiroth dug his fingers in and Kadaj stilled, hoping to lessen the pain.
A strange feeling began to spread through his arms, starting from where Sephiroth held him; Kadaj looked down and his arms melding into Sephiroth's hands.
"Wha- what are you doing?" Kadaj stuttered, fearful eyes darting up to meet Sephiroth's.
"I'm completing the Reunion," Sephiroth said, a faint grin on his lips. "Without you to lead them, the other two will fall to Cloud swiftly, if they haven't already. Then they will appear here as well."
"But, Kaa-san-"
"Exists within me, just as you will. Her will is my own, her power and her strength are mine to wield in her name," Sephiroth said zealously, his eyes glowing triumph.
"What will happen to me?" Kadaj asked, frantic. His arms were almost completely gone, Sephiroth's hands merging seamlessly into his shoulders.
"Your purpose is fulfilled. Your consciousness will fade away, and only the memories of others will be proof that you once existed. But eventually even those will fade," Sephiroth said.
"No! I don't want to not exist!" Kadaj said, trying desperately to pull away from the former SOLDIER, but he couldn't separate himself from Sephiroth.
"Hush, hush; don't struggle…"
Kadaj felt Sephiroth warp his arms around him, squirming slightly as the taller man pulled him close. The ache in his chest, which had subsided to a dull throb, vanished completely; Kadaj breathed a sigh of relief in spite of himself.
"Shh, there, doesn't that feel better now?" Sepiroth murmured into his ear. Kadaj nodded mutely, tears streaming down his cheeks. The embrace tightened and Kadaj shut his eyes. It was the weirdest feeling, like a tiny speck on the edge of a much greater universe, and the speck crumbled bit by bit into the vastness of that universe.
The last thought Kadaj had was the realization that Sephiroth would not be nearly as kind to his brothers, and for that he was sorry.
And then Kadaj thought nothing at all.
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Sephiroth sighed, eyes fluttering open again. Kadaj had materia in him; gods, what a rush. Like a straight shot of caffeine. He could feel the power surging through his body, and he grinned, snapping out his black wing and stretching experimentally. Already, he felt much better than before. His strength was returning, his power. Now all he needed to do was wait for the other two remnants to arrive, which shouldn't take too long.
Sephiroth grinned, predatory. Soon, he would make good on his promise to Cloud.
I will never be just a memory.
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Read and review please!
