This is what happens when I'm feeling blue and have certain music playing while thinking of VA. Yes, the idea is cliche. I understand that. But heck, I wanted my own go at it! This is a one-shot at the idea of Rose leaving and actually, for the most part, being okay.
Enjoy.
There was pain, the kind of pain that never leaves you. It wasn't physical at all; it was the kind that no one can ever really see unless you let them. The kind that will always be there though hidden from view and at any moment can, no, will be renewed. It was not only having a broken heart but also a betrayal that ran deeper than blood. It was a pain that I never thought I would experience specifically from the people I loved the most. And, well so I thought, loved me. Now, I know it was all a lie.
If they truly loved me, they wouldn't have done what they did. I tried being patient though I'll admit I might have failed a few times as patience is most definitely not one of my virtues. In fact I tend to rush into things without thinking of the consequences. I've been called reckless and stupid. But in all my stupidity I would never have done something so horrible as to betray the one person who was always there.
I had an inkling that it was happening. Call it a sixth sense or a shadow kissed perk. But I knew. It was something that I denied for the better course of two months. There was a connection there, one I could never hope to understand, one that I would hope to never have to form either. It pained me when I finally stopped blocking her only to find myself in a loving embrace that was never meant for me. It pained me when the kiss was not given to me, the loving murmurs in that sultry voice, weren't for me. It pained me that the love of my life loved another woman's body and worse, it was my best friend, my sister for all that mattered. The betrayal was one that I should have never known.
But I do.
I should have told him what they were doing but I couldn't. I just…couldn't. It wasn't right for me to do that to him. He deserved happiness too. So I would let him find out on his own and drag it out. I hope they lie to him when he finds out, make him think it was only once. But he will know. Besides, if he knew he sure as hell wouldn't keep silent about it. And this is not what the society needed, to have a scandal with their queen.
I couldn't help but laugh bitterly; even now I still tried to protect her. They do come first, don't they?
But I want to come first. The hell with them.
The hell with her, with him.
I glance out the window; everything is decorated in Christmas decorations. "What a nice gift they have given me." I can't help but mutter as I look at my packed bags.
I'm not running away. No, I'm not. I'm saving myself from going insane. From doing something stupid. I'm…Getting a chance to start at a save point and continue on a different path, for lack of a better explanation. No, because Rose Hathaway doesn't runaway. Hell no. She stands proudly and dishes more than people can take. She's violent and spontaneous and doesn't think what her actions will cause, doesn't care about consequences.
A kick.
"But I can't exactly think about myself only, now can I?" a bit of bitterness there.
Finally I was going to live for myself, to go out into the world and for once put myself first. Least that was what was supposed to happen. But once again, life loves to fuck me.
Dhampir's can't have kids with other dhampir's. Apparently, I didn't get the damn memo. I'm pregnant. I didn't sleep with anyone but Dimitri. It was once again, something magical. It happened while we were on the run but he told me it was a mistake. It should have never happened. The way he said it, like if everything had been a lie. It broke me more than those damn words ever did. I just wanted to disappear.
Adrian…I messed us up royally. I told him and his reaction was not good. Though, should I have expected any different? I mean really. But at least I told him. I haven't talked to him since. Everyone else is happy so how can I go and mess things up by letting them know I was metaphorically at my lowest point? I couldn't. Rose Hathaway could never sink so low. Hell, she's unsinkable!
Yes, I've been wallowing a bit, but I'm getting better.
Another kick.
"Aren't you a lively little brat?" I ask though with a bit of affection. While a part of me resented the idea of having to keep taking care of someone, a part of me relished in it. It gave me purpose. It would also keep loneliness away.
It moved.
"Hell, maybe you'll be an athlete?"
And it would have a choice. It wouldn't be like me. It wouldn't know suffering like me. It will be happy, being a professional athlete or hell, even a doctor. I will support my child, and may the gods have mercy on whoever tries to stop my baby.
I can't help but rub my stomach. I'm not showing as most people would at this stage. Covering up has been easier than expected though I'll start to show soon as my clothes fit tight now. Thankfully being Lissa's guardian also meant I'm able to stay at court. I don't go out which means I have been able to avoid strenuous workouts. I'm glad, I can't screw this up. I won't lose my baby.
I close my eyes and hear it, "Moya princesca."
I shudder snapping out of it, that language was once reserved for only me. Well hell, guess that means he uses it on everyone.
A knock on the door and I see a familiar face, "Old man!" I say to my father.
"Hey kid, it's good to see you."
"Yeah, same here. So we good to go?"
"Of course." He says motioning to his guardians and they grab my bags. I'm about to complain but a look shuts me up, "So. You have your pick as to where you want to go. I have safe houses all over the world and they can be prepped at a moment's notice."
I walk along following, not bothering to glance back. "Hmm. Decisions, decisions." I smirk, "I hear California is a good place to visit! Got a place in Beverly Hills or something?"
He laughs, "Actually, I do."
"No way!"
"Of course, I don't joke about such matters. So California?"
"Um, yea sure. I might just roam until…"
"Ah yes. But I won't allow it once the time comes. You will settle."
"Course." We're in the car now. I'm looking out the window, seeing Court fade away.
"Rose?"
"Hm?"
"I could have him killed."
I laugh, "No. Just leave it be, please. I don't want that. I just want to fade away to live my life, raise my child and get annoying visits from you. I don't want them to hurt. I want them happy. Then I can be happy too."
He groans, "Don't know where you got that from. Certainly not me and I have yet to see it in your mother."
I snort, "That's cause I'm Rose Hathaway, I'm my own form of crazy." I grin.
"Clearly." He states drily.
I laugh, "Well, that mansion better be ready by the time I get there." I say cockily.
"What makes you think it's a mansion?" he shoots back.
"Oh, because it's you?"
He grins, "Damn straight."
My hands are around my stomach, a new beginning. I'll check up on them, but I won't interfere. I have a new life now.
"So who am I now?"
"Rosemarie Ashford."
My heart clenches for a second but I smile, "Thanks. I'm sure he would've approved."
He says nothing and I glance at the jet on the runway; my new life is mere hours away. A part of me wonders what everyone will think when they realize I'm gone and find what I left.
I get out making my way.
But a part of me doesn't care. I'm in it for my kid now. I'm in it for us. I smile. Things will get better. I know it.
So, did ya hate it? Love it? First one-shot ever. ^^
