Notes: This is a fic collection; anytime I write Dick/Zee fic based on a certain word or quote, I'll post it here.
heartworm
n. a relationship or friendship that you can't get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire
So he's actually kind of still in love with her. It pisses him off.
It's, like, he'll be pacing his apartment in Bludhaven or he'll be watching Tim work on something at the Batcave or he'll just be sitting on a stool at the Cave, plotting something out, and as he's trying to plot he's listing out options in his head, and there's always that one option that's definitely not the best one but it involves her and that's why he wants to use it. Because, okay, come on: he doesn't see her that often anymore and he's not even going to bother to lie and say she isn't beautiful, because, yeah, okay, all of the girls he knows are beautiful, but there's just this otherworldly light that shimmers around her and he's still not sure if it's a spell she's put on him or if it's a spell his eyes have put on her.
He shakes his head and tries to focus on whatever task's at hand, but he can never remember what the task at hand was, so he sighs and just ends up thinking about her again. Her laugh, her voice, the last thing they've said to each other: It's usually something stupid or business-related, like hey, can you put a spell on this necklace for me? or the Atom's looking for you, coming to the meeting or what? or sometimes even you can always join us up here, but even if he can complain he can't do much about it, because everything's so hectic lately. Life is storming and they've made their decisions and so what if it's never hey, can you help me get you out of my head or I miss you so much it should be illegal or you can always join me here?
So maybe he was wrong when he thought this was a good idea. So maybe it terrified him when Tula died, and maybe it hurt him when Artemis and Wally disappeared, and maybe it broke him a little when Conner and M'gann broke up, but maybe—maybe—
Who was he kidding? There's no point to this. There was no point to their thinking of walking in separate directions, of lying to themselves though not to each other, of creating a distance that otherwise would not have been created.
—(because if I still love you like this and you go, I'll lose myself)—
Things can get scary and the world can get darker, but a distance so false and so fragile might as well not exist, and his feelings, unfortunately, don't waver.
