Of Lots of Hearts and Lack of Heads
CHAPTER 1: Marshmallows
Juliet took a seat on the ground right next to the campfire and watched as it sent warm sparks up into the night sky. She rubbed her hands and put them as close to the flames as she could.
"I don't know about you, but I don't think this camping trip could've been any better."
Juliet turned around and saw her fake psychic boyfriend, Shawn Spencer, walking up to her with a hot dog on a stick. He smiled at her and took a seat next to her.
"The weather's nice and clear." he continued. She nodded her head at that. "You can see the stars in the sky." She looked up and nodded again. "See? Aren't you glad that I finally agreed to go camping?"
Juliet sighed. Yes, for years, she had tried to convince him to come on an outdoor adventure with her and was delighted that he finally agreed. However, there was one thing that she didn't have in mind.
"Yeah," she agreed hesitantly. "But I could've done this without taking him." She pointed back by the tent where Shawn's best friend, Gus, was stabbing more and more marshmallows onto a stick. When his stick could no longer hold any more marshmallows, Gus shrugged his shoulders and stuffed the rest into his mouth.
"Oh come on, Jules," said Shawn. "We needed a Duckie." Juliet rolled her eyes. "And Gus," Gus, mouth now swelled with marshmallows, looked at Shawn. Shawn gave him a look. "Save those marshmallows. Honestly, how are we supposed to have a competition of chubby bunny when you're hogging all of them?"
Gus glared at Shawn, but threw the rest of the bag of marshmallows at Shawn's shoulder. Hard. Despite the bag weighing no more than a feather (Gus only left two marshmallow in there), Shawn still rubbed his shoulder, looking mock-hurt.
He looked at Juliet. "Honestly," he said. "I've seen Pretty in Pink at least seventy times and not once have I seen Duckie act so hostile." Gus rolled his eyes. "But, luckily, we have two marshmallows left, so..." Juliet smiled sportively and held out a stick, waiting for Shawn to put a marshmallow on it. Instead, Shawn abandoned his first stick with the hotdog on it and picked up another stick, which was covered in marshmallows, and started squeezing them on.
Juliet gave Shawn a look of disbelief. "What?" he said innocently. "He started the competition."
"No, I didn't," said Gus after swallowing the last bits of his marshmallow. "You made that stick of marshmallows during the car ride to the forest. I just made mine half an hour ago."
"Shawn," said Juliet, still holding out her stick. "I wanted to roast one too."
"Of course you can have one. Gus, give her one."
Gus shook his head. "No, you're just telling me to give her one so that I will have less marshmallows than you."
"Don't be a child, Gus."
"I'm not being one. Why don't you give one of yours?"
"Because if I do that, then it'll break the balance of the stick. It has to be perfectly balanced in order for all the marshmallows to be roasted perfectly."
Juliet looked at Shawn, once again donning a face of disbelief. She scooted closer to him, her arm barely brushing his. "You won't give up one of your marshmallows for me, Shawn?" She pouted slightly. Shawn gave her a kiss on her forehead, then leaned back. "This is war, Jules. It's like the saying, 'all is fair in love and war'."
"How do you even know that saying?" Gus interrupted from his spot beside the tent. Shawn ignored his friend, still staring at Juliet. "Sorry, Jules, but we're talking marshmallows. Surely you can understand the gravity of this situation." He smiled at her.
Juliet's pout turned into a full on frown. "Shawn, it's only marshmallows." Shawn looked completely taken aback by her words. He went as far as putting his hand over his chest, feigning shock. "Only marshmallows?! Gus, are you hearing what my ears are telling me I'm hearing?" Gus nodded absently, licking off marshmallow stickiness from his fingers. "Don't mess with the marshmallow."
Shawn turned back to Juliet. "It looks like you're not familiar with the physics of marshmallows." Juliet stifled a sigh. "I'm sure you can tell me all about it tomorrow. I'm going to bed." Shawn called after her as she made her way to her tent. "Wait, you can have my hotdog!" He pointed to the abandoned hotdog on a stick.
"Goodnight, Shawn!" was her only reply before ducking beneath the flaps of her tent.
"And once again, Duckie ruins the perfect date," Shawn mumbled under his breath while Gus and he roasted their marshmallows.
After roasting marshmallows and promptly stuffing them into their mouths (Gus won their chubby bunny competition), Shawn and Gus decided to retire for the night. Two tents were set up: one for Juliet and Shawn and one for Gus. Shawn walked up to his tent only to discover that Juliet had put the zipper on the inside, denying his access.
Shawn sighed and walked towards Gus's tent. If only Gus had given her a marshmallow, he thought somberly, shaking his head slightly. Luckily for him, Gus's tent was still open, allowing Shawn access. Gus was lying down on his sleeping bag with a blanket tightly tucked on top of him. When he looked up, he was startled to find Shawn looking down at him.
"Change of plans," Shawn started. "I'm sleeping here with you." Shawn grabbed an extra pillow that Gus kept in the corner and put it next to Gus's head. Gus sat up and shook his head rapidly. "Nuh uh. No way. We are not going to lay down together."
"Gus, come on buddy," said Shawn. "It'll be like the sleepover we had last week."
Gus glared at Shawn, too tired from his chubby bunny victory to argue. "Fine," he said gruffly. He took Shawn's pillow and shoved it far away from his own pillow and then laid back down. "Goodnight, Shawn."
Shawn rolled his eyes. He looked around for a blanket, but found none. So instead, he lied down on his pillow and tried to snatch some of Gus's blanket. Unfortunately, Gus had an iron grip on the blanket. "Come on, Gus," said Shawn. "I'm freezing here." He waited for Gus's argument, but he was instead met with a snore.
Shawn groaned. "That's just great." Shawn turned over on his side, facing the opposite direction from Gus. He curled in on himself a little, realizing that Juliet might have had a point when she told him to bring an extra coat. Then again, she probably hadn't been thinking of this as a viable reason.
Pretty soon, Gus's fake snoring turned into actual snores. Shawn checked his watch (Henry had given it to him the moment he found out that he was going camping...something about no common sense) and saw that it was well past midnight. Great, he thought. If I'm slowing them down during the hike tomorrow, I'll have Gus to blame. Although, in the back of his head, he already knew that the outcome of tomorrow's hike would have been the same either way. The marshmallows in his stomach rumbled their agreement.
Shawn looked at his watch again. 1:30. He tried to fold his pillow over his ears, which barely muffled Gus's snoring.
The watch then read 2:15. Shawn abandoned his pillow and sat straight up, not willing to put up with Gus once his friend started mumbling in his sleep. That was going too far. That's it, thought Shawn. No more chubby bunny for Gus before bed. A rustling sound interrupted his thoughts. He looked up for a moment and thought that he saw a shadowy figure moving outside. "Is that a bear?" If it is then it had better be Yogi...
He debated for a moment whether or not to go outside and confront the mysterious figure. If it was a bear, then he would be better off in the tent. Then again, Gus was still snoring and mumbling...at this hour, he would rather be stuck with a bear than Gus.
He shook his head and slowly started to unzip the tent. He poked his head out and saw something in the distance. He stepped out of the tent and jogged out a little ways, only to discover that the bear was really a person riding away on horseback.
A person covered in blood. Although, Shawn wasn't focusing on the blood so much as he was the man's head. Shawn halted, not quite believing what he was seeing. He was still gawking at the man's head, or, at least, where the man's head should have been. The mysterious man didn't have a head.
A/N from both of us: We hope you enjoyed our first Psych story! Please review and don't be afraid to give us constructive criticism!
Spoiler alert: We will be introducing Abigail. For what reason? Find out soon!
