Disclaimer: I do not own Dance Academy or any of these characters. I do not own the lyrics to this song.
And when we go crashing down,
We come back every time
'Cause we never go out of style...
Take me home
Just take me home
The coffee shop was busier than usual.
Tara sat opposite Christian in a window seat, not even paying attention to the busyness around them. His hair was pushed back but little bits kept falling in to his face, and when he laughed, little lines would appear around his dark brown eyes. Everything about him made her smile.
Except the fact that their situation had been confusing her for a while now.
Twenty-one years old, not quite in a relationship but not quite completely apart, sitting in a café laughing together as if it was four years ago and they were back at the Academy. Before Sammy died. Before she slipped and fell and thought she'd never be able to walk again. Before any of this drama happened between Tara and Christian; before they called it quits for the last time.
She wished they'd never done that.
But what effect had it had, anyway? They were still here, three years later, hooking up on a regular basis. Because every time, they crashed and burned; but every time, they came back to each other. Even though Tara had a suspicion that she wasn't the only girl he'd been seeing lately.
"So…your place or mine today?" Christian asked, leaning across the table closer to her.
Tara shrugged half-heartedly. "I don't mind."
"Mine, then?"
"Yours is further away than mine."
"True, but I can drive us there, remember? Now that I have my fancy new car, and all…"
Tara chuckled and set her mug down on the table in front of her. "Okay, your place it is, then."
Christian's apartment was nicer than she'd remembered. The past few times they'd met up, Christian had ended up at her house; meaning a long walk back to his place the morning after. She didn't understand why he didn't just wait until she woke up so she could drive him home, but every morning when she woke up, he'd be gone.
To be honest, though, she did the same to him as well. Every morning in his apartment, she was always gone before he woke up.
"Do you want a drink or anything?" Christian asked, turning the lights on in his small kitchen.
"Uh, just some water."
"You sure? I can make you some of my famous hot chocolate…"
"If it's so famous, how come I've never heard of you making it before?" Tara asked playfully, leaning against the counter and folding her arms over her chest.
Christian smirked and turned around to grab the cocoa powder. "Because I only just invented it."
"It's not that famous then, is it?"
"Hey, stop questioning the hot chocolate and just sit back and watch the magic." By now he was grinning at her, and she smiled back.
Watching as he moved around the kitchen grabbing milk, sugar, and water for the kettle, she started frowning just a little. He'd never gone to the trouble of making her a special drink before now. Usually, they'd show up at either one of their apartments and just start kissing straight away.
But this time it was more casual and just added to the web of confusion in Tara's mind. It was all very complicated between the two of them…and it always had been.
"It smells amazing." Tara commented.
He smiled and started walking over to her. "It's done now. I just need a spoon for you to eat the cream with." Soon she realised that he was aiming for the drawer she was leaning against, and she moved away slightly, smiling sheepishly.
For a moment he stared at her and a small smile crept on to his lips. She knew he was going to kiss her as he reached in to the drawer; his eyes remained locked on to hers whilst he grabbed a spoon and shut the drawer.
And before they knew it, Christian's "famous hot chocolate" had been forgotten; left on the counter to go cold. Before they knew it, Tara's hands were in his hair as they blindly found their way over to his dark brown sofa. He was smiling as she kissed his jaw line a few times. His hands came up and took her face in her hands to bring her lips back to his, and the familiar taste of her lips was intoxicating. Her kisses never seemed to get old.
And the next morning, Christian woke up to an empty bed. No note, no nothing.
The only thing he noticed was that the hot chocolate from last night was now empty as it sat by the open microwave door.
Midnight.
Christian had texted Tara who was still lying in her bed, not able to sleep a blink.
This time last night, she'd been tangled up with Christian for hours by now and her sleep was undisturbed; peaceful.
But now she was on her own in her pink bedroom, the only light coming from the streetlamp outside, her phone in her hands as she read the text from her ex boyfriend.
Are you awake?
Yeah. Why?
I'm coming to get you.
And, ten minutes later, headlights flashed outside her window. She'd pulled on some jeans and a hoody and brought her hair up in to a messy bun.
With no idea why Christian was suddenly showing up to get her at midnight, she locked her front door behind her and headed out to the front of the block of flats.
"What's this all about?" Tara asked as she opened the passenger door and climbed inside. It was freezing out, but Christian's car was nicely warm, almost as if he'd been driving around in it for a while now.
"What, so I'm not allowed to miss you and want to see you?" Christian was smirking, as usual, as Tara buckled her seatbelt and the car pulled away from the kerb.
"Not at midnight," she decided, "and not when you only saw me yesterday. You don't normally miss me."
"Well…this time I did," Christian waited for an answer, but she stayed silent, staring out at the road ahead of them. He glanced her way for a moment. Her face was being lit up every few seconds by the passing street lamps, and he noticed she was chewing her lip. "…Is there something wrong with that?" He asked, prompting a reply.
Yes.
Tara didn't say what she was thinking. "No," her voice was quiet, but remained steady.
Of course there was something wrong with him missing her. He wasn't supposed to miss her.
They weren't together, or even anything close to together…she didn't even know what they were. But they definitely weren't together, and they shouldn't miss each other; that wasn't a part of the plan.
And, besides, Tara had heard from Kat that he'd been out with some other girl recently. So, in theory, they couldn't become anything anyway.
"Where are we going?" Tara asked.
Christian smirked. Again. "It's a surprise."
"No, please no surprises!"
"Why not!?"
"I hate surprises!"
"Fine," he sighed, but he was still smiling. "I'm taking you on a midnight date."
"A date?" Tara questioned incredulously.
"Yeah."
She didn't know what to say.
A date?
They weren't together.
She didn't know what was going on.
Did he think they were together now? Did he think they were something? Because, as far as Tara knew, they weren't anything. And she didn't want them to be anything, either; last time, it burned down in flames. It all came crashing down. She couldn't handle that heartache again; she couldn't handle being without him or being broken by him again.
If what Kat said was true, and he was seeing some other girl, then this really was going to end in tears.
"Christian," Tara said suddenly, staring blankly ahead of her.
"Yeah?"
"Why are you taking me on a date? Does this mean we're…together now?"
Christian shrugged and then he smiled; he didn't smirk for once. Tara watched as his hand came slowly off the steering wheel and then towards her. He reached over and put his hand on top of hers. Holding hands was a foreign concept for them now. It'd been three years since they'd done that.
This was all too sudden; too much.
She couldn't handle being with him again, just so that they could crash and burn once more.
In the blink of an eye, Tara quickly removed her hand from his grasp and turned her head to look out the window to her side. She couldn't even look at him.
"Tara? You OK?" Christian asked, half looking at her as he tried to concentrate on the road at the same time.
"Take me home," she blurted out…still not looking at him.
"What? Why?"
"Just take me home. Please."
He was frowning intensely as he turned the car around and headed back in the opposite direction. Tara chewed her lip nervously.
"Why am I taking you back home?" He asked.
"I…just…just do it. I can't be here with you right now."
For a moment, Christian felt a little offended, and he tried to put the pieces together in his mind; why had her attitude suddenly changed? This time last night, everything was great; she was so comfortable with him and let him do whatever he wanted.
But now, she was almost yelling at him to take her home, and he wasn't sure why. He'd thought it would be a sweet gesture to take her on a date…
Twenty minutes later, he finally pulled up outside Tara's block of flats again. This time, his headlights were off as she sat in her seat for a few moments, the whole world at a standstill.
"Tara…" Christian attempted to get an answer out of her.
No such luck.
"Bye, Christian." She didn't even look at him as she grabbed her bag and climbed out of his car. She slammed the door behind her and walked up the steps inside, feeling in a slight daze.
Every time they crashed down, they always came back. Always. And Tara didn't know what to think of it; this wasn't what she wanted.
She wanted Christian – she'd always want Christian – but not like this.
Just not like this.
For a moment Tara thought she was alone as she walked down the hallway towards her own apartment.
But then she heard footsteps running hastily behind her and started to panic. Staying true to her over-thinking reputation, she started wondering who on earth could be following her at such a late hour down a dead-end corridor, unless it was a mass murderer.
Being brave for a brief moment, when she was just about at her front door, she sneaked a peek over her right shoulder to the person following her.
It was a man – a boy, really – with a dark hoody on, dark eyebrows and seemingly black hair swept across his forehead messily. Instantly, she recognised that hair. Those eyebrows. Those eyes.
They were all the features she'd just been staring at down on the street inside a familiar car.
"What are you doing, Christian?" Tara questioned, exasperated. "I told you to leave me alone!" She was almost yelling now, ignoring the fact that it was past 1am and she had neighbours.
Christian pulled the hood off his head and slowed his pace down to a walk. His eyebrows knitted together. "No you didn't!"
She stepped the last few steps towards her door. "Well, you should have assumed!"
And then Christian let out a really loud sigh, bringing his hands up to his side in despair before dropping them back down dramatically. "I don't even know what's going on anymore!" he yelled, finally admitting to something that was going on through his head.
Tara turned to face him now, her back completely to the door and her hand on the handle.
For a moment, she faltered, but then she dropped her hand, pushing the door open forcefully. Finally, she spoke. "Neither do I," her voice was low and hurt. Barely audible.
Behind her, she allowed the door to hang open and, just as she'd predicted, Christian followed her. The lights were off as he took off his coat.
Tara knew they were going to have to have this discussion sometime.
She knew now that they were both confused about what was going on. It was all too much; she'd been confused about it for a while and clearly Christian was now, too.
Tara guessed that the time for this discussion was now.
1am.
Saturday night.
In her apartment.
Soon, the lights were on – albeit low – in the living room, and the two twenty-one-year-olds were sitting on Tara's sofa.
Tara played with her hands nervously, looking down at them to avoid his eye; and for once, Christian was actually looking right at her. It made her crumble.
"So…," Tara attempted to break the tense silence. And then she said the first thing that came to her mind. "I heard that you've been out and about with some other girl…or girls…"
"Where did you hear that?"
She ignored his question. "Is it true?"
"I…" Christian faltered. He let out a short, sheepish breath and chewed his lip. "It's true," he finally admitted, his voice quiet. "I've been…seeing other girls,"
Nervously, Tara sucked in a breath and tried to swallow back the stupid tears that were beginning to sting at her eyes. She turned her head away for a moment, biting her bottom lip so hard she could almost taste blood, and then settled her eyes back on her hands.
"Tara," the familiar sound of her name in Christian's voice made her heart melt, and she looked up at him without moving her head.
"Yeah?"
"I love you," he said, his voice so quiet and vulnerable. She wasn't expecting him to sound so…sincere. So honest. "What you've heard is true, yeah, but…I…you're the one I can't stop thinking about…," he paused for a moment before speaking again. "And I…"
"…What?"
Christian opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again, and Tara waited patiently. But before she realised what he was doing, she was staring down at his lips and he was leaning closer. He was going to kiss her, and she was going to kiss back, and it was completely inevitable.
Their lips brushed for just a second before he kissed her properly, square on the lips; just once, but for a while.
When he pulled away, she looked up in to his eyes and saw that familiar look there; the look he always had after he kissed her (every time, without fail).
And then Tara suddenly felt the urge just to fall back in to him and kiss him more, because all of a sudden she felt she knew what she really needed. Things with Christian were never going to be safe, or normal, or even healthy. But none of that mattered, because it was only him; it was only him she'd ever want.
"I'm never going to be good for you," Christian said before biting his lip for a moment. He stared at her, his eyebrows slightly knitted together and his forehead wrinkled. "I'm always going to be messed up, Tara. I can't settle down. My eyes wander sometimes…"
Tara watched him as he listed the reasons why he wasn't going to be good for her. They were reasons she already knew; reasons that, deep down, she'd realised a long time ago but never felt like she could admit to herself.
And now that he'd said it out loud, she realised what she truly felt.
Without giving him another chance to say anything else, she leaned forward and pressed her slightly parted lips to his. He let her kiss him.
A few minutes later, Tara pulled her lips away but stayed close, leaning her forehead on to his.
"Once upon a time," she started, "I wouldn't have wanted that. I wouldn't have wanted someone whose eyes wander or someone who can't settle down, but…in all honesty, all I want is you."
Christian's face broke out in to the tiniest smile, his teeth only just showing, and he watched her as she leaned away, still looking him right in the eyes.
"So, if you is midnight drives and not telling me you love me every second of the day, I'll take it," she shrugged, "because…it's all I'm going to get and I think by now we both know we're never getting over each other."
Christian released his famous, infuriating smirk and leaned forward, taking her face in his hands and kissing her. Properly. No holding back, no confusion over what was going on…just him and her. That's all he'd ever want.
"I've known that since the start, Training Bra," he grinned, pulling away for a moment. She gave him a playful look and smiled, shaking her head, before he spoke again. "Like I said before, I'm never going to love anyone the way I love you. And I'm sorry I'm not everything you ever wanted, but…"
"You're you. And that's enough for me."
Christian leaned in again and kissed her.
—
And when Tara woke up the next morning, the sheets wrinkled around her and only half covering her skin, she wasn't alone. Christian was next to her, his eyes tightly shut and his lips pouting slightly. He was facing her, lying on his side; his arm was under his head as he slept.
She smiled before scooting closer and closing her eyes again. Promptly, she fell back asleep.
And for the first time in a really long time, Tara was there when Christian woke up. She was there, her arm draped around his waist and her eyes closed. He smiled.
This was where he was meant to be.
A/N: So this is my first published Dance Academy fic, and I hope you liked it! I've been in the fandom for quite some time now, but this is the first main inspiration I've had for a decent fic!
Thank you to shadowswan for helping me with the ending of this fic and even the title, you are my lifeline!
This was based on Taylor Swift's song, "Style". As you can guess by the lyrics at the start and the title;)
I will hopefully be writing lots more DA in the future.
If you're a fan of House of Anubis or Austin & Ally, check out my other stories! :)
Love :* xxx
