Bayonetta: Unbalanced Scales
Introduction:
"Enzo darling, you look ridiculous," the Umbran Witch cooed while peering at the stout man from over her glasses. He really did look ridiculous in his Sunday finest. He could almost pass himself off as a proper usher. Almost. Bayonetta didn't like to get herself involved in her informant's personal affairs, but she knew him long enough to know that he had no business dressing up and going to church.
"Dammit, woman you scared the shit out of me!" he squawked. He stumbled backward, nearly knocking over various stools around the dimly illuminated bar.
"Ah, ah, Enzo, watch that potty mouth of yours. You're a holy man now," Bayonetta teased as she leaned her elbows against the smooth stone counter of the bar. A smirk twisted the corners of her plush lips, causing her eyes to morph into a slightly playful gaze.
"She's right you know," Rodin chimed in from behind the bar. He held a crystal tumbler in one hand and a cloth rag in the other, a common sight. He was always cleaning his glasses, though Bayonetta was never around when there were other patrons to the bar. "If you don't straighten out, you'll never work off all the debt you owe me."
"R-Rodin," Enzo stuttered as he tried to straighten himself out. He brushed off his shoulders and nervously examined his many rings to make sure they were all in their proper place. After he adjusted what little hair did remain on top of his head he stood up and approached the bar, just barely able to look over it.
"No whining either Enzo," Bayonetta chimed in with a gentle pat on Enzo's shoulder. "Holy men do what they're told."
"I don't need a lesson in holy from you!" he snapped back. "You're the whole reason I need to swindle these guys anyway! You know how much it's gonna cost to fix that car?"
"Still carrying on about that are we?" the witch sighed, suddenly bored with teasing the little fraud. Too easy to agitate and he carried on for far too long.
"You bet your pretty little bun I am! It costs me a fortune to haul your sorry ass all over the place!"
"Ah yes, I'll recall the price of my transportation as you recall that I have delivered your worthless backside from harm on multiple occasions," she retorted. "If I were more knowledgeable on the subject of modern day economics, I'd say you are in debt to me."
She had not mentioned a drink to Rodin but when she reached out her fingers as if to grab the stem of a glass there was one in front of her. It was filled with a sweet yet strong concoction that Rodin lovingly called the "Umbran Bitch." It had become a favorite of Bayonetta's.
"Enough bickering," Rodin interrupted curtly as he set down the glass he was wiping and picked up another. "You better run along now or you're going to miss mass again. You know how the old biddies like to be early."
"Always rushing me, Rodin," Enzo muttered to himself as he shuffled away from the bar, off to pass around the collection plate while stuffing a few spare singles in his wallet.
Now Rodin and Bayonetta, a fallen angel and a half-blood witch, were alone in the Gates of Hell. What a pair.
"Anything exciting for me, Rodin?" Bayonetta sighed, already on her second glass of the Bitch. "I'm getting a little tired of my old toys."
"Sorry babe, business is slow," the hefty demon replied. Through his dark shades he glanced at the woman seated before him. "Shortage of halos going around, and you haven't been out much to bring me any."
"Dreadful, I know. I haven't gone out to play in such a long time. It's no fun. Surely the masses of those ugly things would be hunting me down after I cremated their precious Creator," the witch sighed as she inspected the lenses of her glasses. "I was looking forward to it, in fact."
"Well I don't know what's going down. Inferno's quite, too. You just better watch yourself."
"I don't need a nanny, Rodin."
"Oh you don't, do you?" called a familiar voice from the other end of the room. The echo of heels clacking against the stone floor of the bar gave Jeanne away as she approached the counter beside Bayonetta. "I seem to recall a certain someone needing a bit of guidance on their journey to save the world."
"Jeanne, we didn't save the world, just had a little fun exterminating some pests," Bayonetta said with a bit of a chuckle as she settled her glasses back on her nose.
"Perhaps," Jeanne muttered as she sat in a stool beside Bayonetta. An empty tumbler and bottle of vodka was placed before her instantly. "You still need to watch yourself. Even my previous power over the Laguna wouldn't be of any help."
"Yes, mummy dearest, I'll be sure to be a good girl," Bayonetta mocked as she suddenly stood up from her stool.
"Where are you going?" Jeanne asked a little too quickly.
"I haven't fooled around with Cheshire in a while. I was thinking of paying him a visit," Bayonetta replied as she walked coolly away from the bar. In a bright flash of purple light she was gone.
"She better watch herself with that guy," Rodin snorted as he poured vodka and some sort of demonic flavoring into the glass before Jeanne. He topped it off with a yellow colored lollipop. "Witches have no right to be messin' around with the lives of humans like that. It ain't right."
"She'll do as she pleases," Jeanne sighed before downing her entire drink in one swig. "She always has. It's admirable. And annoying."
