Savouring The Past (1/1)

by Anne

Ratings/warnings: OK (Oz/Kiwi spelling/grammar etc) – PG – none really, but spoilers for 'Outlasting Time' arc. Quatre POV.

Pairings: 4+2, 4+5, 4x3, 2x1.

Summary: While waiting for Duo, Quatre reflects on his life, and friendships.

Archive: http: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency. I promise to return the characters in one piece, more or less, when I'm finished, but hold no liability for any physical injury or psychological trauma sustained by them in my fiction.

Author's notes: This ficlet is written in response to Merith's request on the gw fic on demand community on LJ, and therefore is for her. It's also part of the 'Outlasting Time' arc, as that's what Quatre wanted, and we don't argue with the Quatre muse (well, not too much).

Thanks to: haraamis for the beta read loves

Comments to: anneo 219/

I take a sip of coffee and stretch my legs out under the table. It's a wonderfully sunny day and even though I've lived on earth now for nearly twenty years, I haven't lost any of the wonder I felt when I first arrived here during Operation Meteor.

I've also become more of a creature of habit over the past few years, much to Trowa's amusement. I grin, remembering several methods I've employed recently to persuade my husband that not all those quirks, as he calls them, are necessarily bad.

Life, on the whole, is good. I'm married to a man I love, we have a beautiful daughter and the nightmares, which plagued me for so many years, have receded. Occasionally, I still have restless nights and remember the people I've killed, the mistakes I've made, but I think I would worry more if that didn't happen. War is a serious and terrible thing; once those of us who fought it forget, there's nothing to stop the future generations from repeating those mistakes and starting the endless waltz once more. Peace is a very fragile thing. None of us are under the illusion that it couldn't shatter at any time.

Is it selfish of me to hope that it isn't in my lifetime? Or even in my child's lifetime? I shake my head and take another sip of coffee. Glancing at my watch, I note that it will be another five minutes before Duo arrives. My reading glasses are out of my pocket, and I reach for the complimentary newspaper before I even realise what I've done.

Sometimes it concerns me that I've become so much more the businessman and less the Gundam pilot. Even now, I miss the feel of Sandrock's controls under my fingertips, the power of her engines, the freedom to be myself as I sit in her cockpit and engage the enemy. Duo is convinced that is why my vehicle of choice is a four-wheel drive rather than something more befitting my present occupation. As he was the one who upgraded the engine and helped me test drive its full capabilities, I suspect he misses Deathscythe just as much as I miss Sandrock. Heero and Trowa could never understand why the two of us spoke of our Gundams as though they were living entities, but to us, on some level, they were. I still remember the time Sandrock opened her doors to let me escape before I self-detonated. Mechanical error, or dumb luck, maybe, but I'm not so convinced.

Wufei, I think, understands, but there are still things in his past he's reluctant to talk about, even to me. We've all fought our demons, but I think we've grown stronger, and closer, for it. Although we've settled down in different parts of Earth and the colonies, we still make a point of meeting regularly at least several times a year. Duo and Heero are still here in Bern; they, like us, had grown attached to the beautiful countryside and were reluctant to leave once we parted ways with Preventers. Wufei stayed for a while, moved away, came back for a teaching stint at the local high school, much to Alicia and Michael's horror, but then decided to settle on L1.

He's become one of my closest friends. When we first met, I wouldn't have believed that there would be things I could say to Wufei that I couldn't to anyone else, but he understands me and where I've come from, in ways that not even Trowa can. We connected on common ground, built on it, and our friendship grew from there. He regrets having kept his distance from us directly after the war, I think, but even so, he was always there when he was needed. We evolved into a team during that final battle, and that has never left us.

I glance at my watch once more and put down the paper I'm not reading. Duo's late. I know that he has an important job on and wonder again whether I should have been more insistent about rescheduling our coffee. But Duo would hear none of it, and I know him better than to push the subject. This weekly coffee is just as important to him as it is to me. It is our break from reality and the expectations of life. It's not as though we don't see each other often; shared meals at either our home or his and Heero's are not uncommon, but quality time with just the two of us is rare.

We've always been close. Sometimes I wonder whether Duo might have been the one, if I hadn't met Trowa, but we'll never know. We're more brothers than just friends, but there's also something else between us. Maybe it's a feeling of what might have been, or just the closeness of a friend I know I can trust, have trusted, with my life. We've kissed more than once, and we flirt; I couldn't do that with someone I don't trust. He knows that I've found my missing piece in Trowa, the same way he's found his in Heero. What we have between us is different from the friendship we share with our husbands and our other close friends.

If asked to explain it, I couldn't and I'm not sure he could either.

I feel him approaching, even before he slips into the empty seat opposite me and orders two coffees. Black for me and a flat white for him. "You're losing your touch, Cat."

"Huh?" I glance up at him and smirk. "I knew you were there, Duo," I reply smugly. "I thought you knew me better than that."

"Right," he snorts. "Sure. Your word against mine, and I'm not about to argue with a strategist." He grins. "At least not today." He thanks the waiter for our coffees, as do I, and we sit in silence for a moment, taking the time to enjoy each other's company.

Taking the time to savour the past and look forward to the future.

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Fin

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