Oh lord, here I am again. The hurt/anger that I've had over this couple/show the last couple months has been horrible. But I got to re watching some old episodes and reading recent fics and my muse for these two showed it weary head and well this is the end result. Probably only a couple chapters depending on the support I get out of it. So with out further ado..

Dont own em, if I did, none of that horrid shit would have happened last season.

Enjoy..


Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. Inevitably, time progressed on, tick, tock, tick, tock went the clock and that's all it did. The clock never stopped ticking. Always a constant reminder that time would constantly move forward and that Tara could never be able to turn back the hands of time. To the time right before Pam left her. Maybe she could have said more, not been so hateful, tell Pam her true feelings. But time and missed opportunities were what plagued Tara's nightmares and her very immortal existence. Ironically time was all that Tara had. So she dealt, she adapted. When Pam left and Ben was killed the ability to walk in the sun left. So Willa and Tara took refuge at Sookie's house. The underground cubby would be their sleeping quarters. Fangtasia was out of the question; humans still didn't take too kindly to the vampire kind. Being both newborn vamps, Willa and Tara stuck together. They never ventured out of the house, not to far anyways.

This is how they spent their time, sleeping in a cubby and wondering around Sookie's house till morning. To keep up this reprieve, Willa and Tara only feed from two sources, Sookie and Lafayette, and neither one cared. It kept Willa and Tara safe from Hep V and it kept the outside world from getting in.

As if right on time Sookie found Tara sitting on the front steps of her newly acquired home. Her eyes fixed on the dark woods ahead, her mind reeling with thoughts of the unknown future.

"Your ass is gonna grow into that step one of these days."

Tara turned her head and eyed the blonde, scoffed then resumed her intense stare into the darkness.

Sookie took a seat beside her long time friend, she followed Tara's gaze to the darken woods and they sat there for a moment. Sookie wanted to help Tara fight those demons that lurked behind the trees and their shadows. So she reached over and took Tara's hand in her own and started tracing a pattern with her thumb on the back of her hand.

"I know you miss her, but sitting here longing for the darkness to bring her back isn't helping anything."

Tara didn't speak, she didn't move. She just stared into the darkness, hoping and praying that whatever was in that darkness, whatever she was desperately searching for would come and whisk her away from this madness and put her out of her self loathing misery, indefinitely.

"I know," Tara's voice was smaller than a whisper almost not even audible and if the Louisiana night had not been so quiet, Sookie would not have been able to hear her speak.

"Can you feel her?" Sookie asks quietly

Tara drew in an unneeded ragged breath, "Yeah, bout a month ago"

Tara stood up and walked to the edge of the yard, still staring into the darkened abyss and folded her arms over her chest. "I think she did it, so she could see if I was still alive, or to torture me by allowing me to know she still is. It left as quickly as it came. Then just like before she left me or more like abandon me." Tara swiped at her face, smudging her crimson misery across her face. "You know, I was getting along just fine without the connection, because she cut it off ya know? But then like all of a sudden. Bam! Here she is again, making my life a living hell…yet again."

The wind rustled the leaves in the trees. And the bugs ceased all noise and for a moment the summer night stilled. Tara scanned the darken woods for one last glimpse. Knowing that it was fruitless. Sookie walked out to Tara and spoke softly, "What would you do if she came back?"

For a fleeting moment a look of weakness crossed Tara's face and then as if a switch was turned Tara's face turned hard as stone. "I don't know Sook, I really don't." she stated matter-of-factly before turning towards her new home. "But that's something, I don't have to worry about, because she isn't coming back."

"Oh Tara sweetie, you don't know that" Sookie tried to comfort her heartsick friend.

Tara stopped abruptly and slowly turned to face Sookie. "It's the only thing I do know," She said straightforwardly. "She never wanted me in the first place Sook. You know that, as well as I do. She only turned me because she had the preconceived notion that if she done something for you, you would get her back in Eric's good graces. It's all about Eric, this whole fucked up situation, is because of Eric fucking Northman. As long as that asshole is in the picture, there will never be any room for Tara Thornton." Tara pointed at her chest, which happen to be shaking from the sobs she was trying to hold back. Tara had never in her life fallen for someone like she had Pam. Shit, she didn't even love Naomi the way she loved Pam. She wanted to blame it on the bond, or the overly sensitive senses that came along with being a vampire. But she knew… She knew exactly what it was. It was her heart that over played, overly punned organ that sat in her chest that ironically didn't even beat anymore. No, Tara wanted to blame numerous things, but the one thing or person rather; she couldn't quite find the proverbial balls to blame, was herself.

"Tara" Sookie tried, reaching out for her.

Tara threw up her hands "Don't Sook, just, just don't okay? I don't need your empathy; I don't need you to feel sorry for me. I've done quite all right for the last 20 something years. I've taken care of myself. I just thought, you know, for once that I might be taken care of. But I guess that what I get for thinking hmm? You'll never know what it's like to be thrown away Sookie. To be not wanted. To…"

Before Tara could finish she sensed something in the woods. She speed in front of Sookie and put her arms out to her side.

"Sook, stay behind me" Tara said with a pop of her fangs. "There something out there"

Then out of the darkness, stepping out of the shadow's hold came the most bittersweet sight she had ever seen.

Pam.


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