Title: not Quite One sided
Author: Lavenderangel
Lavenderlala08@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Spoilers: Destiny
Category: M&M
Summary: How did Michael get over killing Pierce? Sort of a tag for season
1.
Disclaimer: Roswell and all it's characters don't belong to me, but some of
it's props probably now belong to over obsessed fans like myself ^_^.
Well, any feedback would be wonderful!
She called everyday.
At first the messages were short, barely more than a sentence or two, but still she called. Sometimes once, sometimes twice. But there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't call.
He usually tried to ignore them. If he'd been out and she'd called, he'd mentally kill himself afterwards for missing her, though. More than once he'd nearly picked up the phone. Once he actually had.
She'd been screaming at him, sounding close to tears. His hand had grabbed the phone from beside him before he had any idea what he was doing, silencing her rant.
".Michael?" Her voice was small, the tears evident.
His breathing became loud and grew faster, and he was sure she could hear him clearly. He slammed the phone down as abruptly as he'd picked it up, silently screaming at himself for hurting her again.
June fourteenth. Two weeks since he'd been out of school, thirty-one days since he'd last seen her.
He lay on his couch, waiting. He watched TV for a while, but nothing was on. Finally, he headed for the crashdown and his double shift. Jose had gone to Arizona for a well deserved vacation, so Michael was the only cook on hand.
Maria had obviously talked to Mr. Parker about her work schedule, because Michael didn't even get so much as a glimpse of her anymore.
He silently flipped burgers for hours that passed in strange intervals. Five minutes would feel like thirty, and two hours would feel like two minutes.
Finally 10 o'clock came, and he silently helped Jeff Parker close up.
"Thanks for working double today, Michael." He nodded as he left, slamming the door behind him.
He got home to the sound of the phone ringing. Sitting down on the couch, he let the answering machine get it.
Seconds later, Maria's voice filled the silence of his apartment. "Hey Michael, it's me. Again. You could return my calls one of these days you know."
She continued speaking, but her words fell on deaf ears. Michael simply listened to the different tones of her voice, almost believing that she was actually in the room with him.
The word 'Pierce' brought him back to reality and he listened with a mixture of anger and guilt to whatever Maria was saying about the supposed FBI agent that he'd killed one month before.
".And so I was thinking about it, and I realized something new. That maybe you didn't break up with me because you're a jerk and have no feelings and. well anyway, I realized that probably wasn't your reason--well, at least not all of it. I realized that, maybe you actually do love me. And I know by breaking up with me you thought you were doing the right thing so I wouldn't get hurt, but I'm in the most pain I could possibly be in right now because I'm not with you. And Michael," she continued as Michael's brain slowly absorbed what she was saying. "I know you must feel terrible about killing Pierce."
An unexpected stab of pain surged through him at the second mention of the man's name, and he sighed heavily. A year ago, he wouldn't have cared about killing some dumb guy that he didn't even know. Well, he wouldn't care as much, at least. But now, for reasons beyond his control, he did.
"But Michael," Maria continued speaking "it wasn't your fault. You were doing it to save Valenti, you were doing it for a good reason!"
Once again, Michael had grabbed the phone before he quite knew what he was doing. His breathing was very fast, and he could feel himself shaking. The huge amount of guilt and self-loathing he'd been feeling for the past month crashed down on him all at once, and he could feel tears burning in his eyes.
"Michael?" He'd almost forgotten about the phone, and the person on the other end.
He tried to speak, to tell her that yes, it was his fault, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, tears somehow escaped his eyes and he let out a small grunt in an effort to keep the torrent of emotions from leaving his body.
Maria, somehow sensing that he had in fact picked up the phone and had been listening to her, felt hope and compassion flood through her all at once.
It was almost as if she could see Michael, curled up on his old couch, clutching the phone and struggling with himself to hold back his emotions.
"It wasn't your fault," she repeated in a softer tone, "it wasn't. Pierce was an evil.I don't know what he was, but he was an enemy. He probably would've killed all of us and not felt any different in the slightest," she tried desperately to convince him. "Michael, please believe me. You didn't mean to kill Pierce and you would never even hurt me or any of us."
A whimper escaped his lips in response, and Maria wished she was with him in person so she could see how her words had effected him.
Instead she contented herself with continuing to try to reassure him. --
Michael held the phone so tightly that his knuckles were white.
Unwanted tears pricked his eyes, and he had no power to stop them. This was the second time he'd cried, the first being in Maria's arms during a rainstorm. She seemed to have a power over his emotions at times.
Her tone was as it'd been on that night in February, soft and reassuring.
It calmed his nerves in the way that only Maria could do, and he could feel himself relaxing. Her words blurred until all he could hear was the sound of her voice, and that was all he wanted to hear at that moment.
There was a pause in whatever Maria had been saying that snapped Michael out of his half-asleep state.
"I have to go, Liz is on the other line."
There was a pause, and Michael was about to hang up when Maria spoke again.
"And Michael, I love you, too."
Then there was a click, and she had gone, much like the way he'd walked away just after he'd declared his love for her a month before.
But instead of the pain that he was sure he'd caused for her, Maria's latest call seemed to relieve him.
The anger, and some of the guilt had left him.
Sighing, Michael put the phone back, before pulling the old blanket off the back of the couch.
And when he fell asleep sometime later, his dreams were pleasant for the first time in days.
[A/N Ey. lame ending, no? I realize that Maria said in Skin and Bones that Michael avoided her all summer, but he might have done this. Maybe? Just maybe? Someone say maybe so I don't feel like a total idiot.
And yes, my torturous babbling is finally over. it's feedback time, babee! Now, please leave me some FB while I go let the dog out. Thanks!]
She called everyday.
At first the messages were short, barely more than a sentence or two, but still she called. Sometimes once, sometimes twice. But there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't call.
He usually tried to ignore them. If he'd been out and she'd called, he'd mentally kill himself afterwards for missing her, though. More than once he'd nearly picked up the phone. Once he actually had.
She'd been screaming at him, sounding close to tears. His hand had grabbed the phone from beside him before he had any idea what he was doing, silencing her rant.
".Michael?" Her voice was small, the tears evident.
His breathing became loud and grew faster, and he was sure she could hear him clearly. He slammed the phone down as abruptly as he'd picked it up, silently screaming at himself for hurting her again.
June fourteenth. Two weeks since he'd been out of school, thirty-one days since he'd last seen her.
He lay on his couch, waiting. He watched TV for a while, but nothing was on. Finally, he headed for the crashdown and his double shift. Jose had gone to Arizona for a well deserved vacation, so Michael was the only cook on hand.
Maria had obviously talked to Mr. Parker about her work schedule, because Michael didn't even get so much as a glimpse of her anymore.
He silently flipped burgers for hours that passed in strange intervals. Five minutes would feel like thirty, and two hours would feel like two minutes.
Finally 10 o'clock came, and he silently helped Jeff Parker close up.
"Thanks for working double today, Michael." He nodded as he left, slamming the door behind him.
He got home to the sound of the phone ringing. Sitting down on the couch, he let the answering machine get it.
Seconds later, Maria's voice filled the silence of his apartment. "Hey Michael, it's me. Again. You could return my calls one of these days you know."
She continued speaking, but her words fell on deaf ears. Michael simply listened to the different tones of her voice, almost believing that she was actually in the room with him.
The word 'Pierce' brought him back to reality and he listened with a mixture of anger and guilt to whatever Maria was saying about the supposed FBI agent that he'd killed one month before.
".And so I was thinking about it, and I realized something new. That maybe you didn't break up with me because you're a jerk and have no feelings and. well anyway, I realized that probably wasn't your reason--well, at least not all of it. I realized that, maybe you actually do love me. And I know by breaking up with me you thought you were doing the right thing so I wouldn't get hurt, but I'm in the most pain I could possibly be in right now because I'm not with you. And Michael," she continued as Michael's brain slowly absorbed what she was saying. "I know you must feel terrible about killing Pierce."
An unexpected stab of pain surged through him at the second mention of the man's name, and he sighed heavily. A year ago, he wouldn't have cared about killing some dumb guy that he didn't even know. Well, he wouldn't care as much, at least. But now, for reasons beyond his control, he did.
"But Michael," Maria continued speaking "it wasn't your fault. You were doing it to save Valenti, you were doing it for a good reason!"
Once again, Michael had grabbed the phone before he quite knew what he was doing. His breathing was very fast, and he could feel himself shaking. The huge amount of guilt and self-loathing he'd been feeling for the past month crashed down on him all at once, and he could feel tears burning in his eyes.
"Michael?" He'd almost forgotten about the phone, and the person on the other end.
He tried to speak, to tell her that yes, it was his fault, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, tears somehow escaped his eyes and he let out a small grunt in an effort to keep the torrent of emotions from leaving his body.
Maria, somehow sensing that he had in fact picked up the phone and had been listening to her, felt hope and compassion flood through her all at once.
It was almost as if she could see Michael, curled up on his old couch, clutching the phone and struggling with himself to hold back his emotions.
"It wasn't your fault," she repeated in a softer tone, "it wasn't. Pierce was an evil.I don't know what he was, but he was an enemy. He probably would've killed all of us and not felt any different in the slightest," she tried desperately to convince him. "Michael, please believe me. You didn't mean to kill Pierce and you would never even hurt me or any of us."
A whimper escaped his lips in response, and Maria wished she was with him in person so she could see how her words had effected him.
Instead she contented herself with continuing to try to reassure him. --
Michael held the phone so tightly that his knuckles were white.
Unwanted tears pricked his eyes, and he had no power to stop them. This was the second time he'd cried, the first being in Maria's arms during a rainstorm. She seemed to have a power over his emotions at times.
Her tone was as it'd been on that night in February, soft and reassuring.
It calmed his nerves in the way that only Maria could do, and he could feel himself relaxing. Her words blurred until all he could hear was the sound of her voice, and that was all he wanted to hear at that moment.
There was a pause in whatever Maria had been saying that snapped Michael out of his half-asleep state.
"I have to go, Liz is on the other line."
There was a pause, and Michael was about to hang up when Maria spoke again.
"And Michael, I love you, too."
Then there was a click, and she had gone, much like the way he'd walked away just after he'd declared his love for her a month before.
But instead of the pain that he was sure he'd caused for her, Maria's latest call seemed to relieve him.
The anger, and some of the guilt had left him.
Sighing, Michael put the phone back, before pulling the old blanket off the back of the couch.
And when he fell asleep sometime later, his dreams were pleasant for the first time in days.
[A/N Ey. lame ending, no? I realize that Maria said in Skin and Bones that Michael avoided her all summer, but he might have done this. Maybe? Just maybe? Someone say maybe so I don't feel like a total idiot.
And yes, my torturous babbling is finally over. it's feedback time, babee! Now, please leave me some FB while I go let the dog out. Thanks!]
