So I saw Winter Soldier and I was inspired to write this. There are a few more chapters on the way. Drop a review and let me know what you think. Thanks for stopping by!

warning: minor spoilers for winter soldier.

Natasha silently shut her door and looked around the empty apartment. It was dark and empty, much like herself. A thin layer of dust covered everything-it had been over three weeks since she was last here- and the flowers on the dinning room table had long been wilted. She sighed as she walked down the entry way, tossing her keys onto the entry table. They slid across the smooth surface and off the other end, but she didn't bother to pick them up. Instead she pulled her holster off and laid it down with a loud clunk, then continued walking. She stripped her jacket off and tossed it into the darkness, then kicked her shoes off as she reached the living room.

Skipping her usual surveillance routine, she went straight to the couch and fell onto it, facing the back. She yanked the blanket out from under her and pulled it over her head, curling into a ball. Despite the apartments warmth, she began to shiver as the horrors of the last several weeks caught up to her. A dead Fury flashed through her mind,Steve falling from the sky, a shock ripping through her body. She squeezed her eyes shut and a single tear slid down her cheek. She hadn't believed in crying when she first came to America-it was a sign of weakness, as was emotion- but things had changed. She had changed.

Another tear followed the first, and then another. She had lost nearly everything she had come to know and it was all her fault. She was the one who uploaded the files to the internet. She was the one that had exposed her friends. It had to be done, but that didn't make it any easier. The whole world knew about her past now, and the only person she could blame was herself.

The past. That thought stopped her cold as her mind settled on one person: Clint Barton. A new wave of panic set in as she began fretting over him once more. It had been a year since she last saw him. A year since she last heard from him. Was he still alive? Would she ever see him again? Their identities had been exposed. Everyone knew who they really were.

Natasha tried to take a calming breath, but froze as she felt a disturbance in the room. Something was wrong. She closed her eyes and reached out with her mind, trying to "feel" what was wrong. She finally found the source of upset; it was a person, standing at the end of the couch. Anger, surprise, and adrenaline coursed through her system, and for a moment her woes were forgotten. She slid her hand between the couch cushions and gripped the small knife there, pulling it back to her side. She had one shot at this. She had to hit her mark or distract it long enough for her to get across the room and get her gun.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She was going into this blind. She had no ideas about her target, no previous information. She hated it. Natasha waited a few moments longer, and then threw the blanket aside. In one fluid motion she raised her wrist, ready to throw the knife, but a hand clamped around her wrist. She tried to swing at her assailant, but their other hand locked around her wrist, pinning them over her head. She was about to swing her leg around for a kick, but her attacker spoke.

"Nat! Calm down! It's me!" The voice stopped her in her tracks and she froze, staring up at the man. He stared down at her, his blue eyes bright in the dark room. His hair was a bit longer and a thin stubble covered his chin, but she knew him. "I'm going to let you go now." He slowly released his grip.

Natasha was on her feet within a second, her arms locked around his neck. "My god, you're alive!" She sobbed into his shoulder, unable to control her emotions any longer.

"Yeah, And so are you." Clint wrapped his around her, pressing his face into her hair. Relief coursed through Natasha as she clung to him, the rest of the world melting away. At the moment, all that mattered was that he was alive.

"Are you ok?" Her voice was shaky and muffled by his shoulder.

"Am I ok? I should be asking you that. Fury briefed me as soon as I hit U.S soil."

"So you know everything?"

"Yeah." Clint's hand rubbed circles on her back, his nose still pressed to her hair. "I know everything."

"I'm sorry. I exposed everyone."

"Don't worry about that right now." Clint took a step back from her and smiled. "You changed your hair."

"I guess." She closed her eyes, trying to compose herself.

"Come here." Clint sat down on the couch and Natasha practically crawled into his lap, resting her head against his shoulder. He wrapped her arms around her, holding her close, and kissed her temple. The action took her back in time, back to a rainy night one year ago.

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Natasha smiled as she heard the front door shut and she turned around to grin at her partner. "You're nearly late. I was getting ready to burn your dinner." She smiled at him, waiting for him to cross the kitchen and engage their usual evening banner. Instead Clint dropped his bag on the ground and stood across from her, a grim expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" She demanded, her playful demeanor gone. She crossed the kitchen and placed a hand on his forehead as she detected the sick look on his face. "Are you feeling ok?" She frowned.

"No." Clint's voice was hoarse. "I've got a mission."

"You mean we have a mission?"

"No. Not us." His words took a moment to sink in, and when they did Natasha scowled. It had been nearly six years since they had been on a mission without each other, and for good reason; the two agents operated best when they were together. That was the only way they were able to achieve maximum proficiency.

"What is Fury mad about now?" Natasha crossed her arms. The director would occasionally threaten to duo with separate missions if they got cheeky, but he never followed through on his threats.

"I don't know. He just came up to me out of no where and assigned me to Ugaria. I demanded an explanation, so he told me that it was because we were making SHIELD look back-like they couldn't control us. I called bull shit on it, but he just walked away and told me I was to be on a plane by tomorrow at 9am."

"He can't do that. We can leave."

"You know we can't, not right now. There is a security threat. If we just left we could get killed."

"How long are you going to be gone?" Natasha's voice quavered and she felt the panic rising.

"Undetermined. He said I was stationed there until further notice."

"No." Natasha's voice finally cracked. "He can't do that." Her body shook and Clint calmly rose from the table and pulled her into his arms.

"But he can Nat." His own voice cracked and he hugged her tightly.

"I can't...I don't know how to work without you anymore." She took a professional stance, unable to voice her real thoughts, but Clint saw right through that. They had been inseparable the last two years, and they had grown together. They had opened up to one another, and although she was still leery about the concept, they had fallen in love with one another. And now their world was being ripped apart.

"I know Nat. I don't think I can either." He pressed his face into her hair, fighting back tears. He pressed a kiss to her temple and Natasha closed her eyes, trying to figure out how she was going to live without him. In her mind it wasn't possible.

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There had been no lustful goodbye sex or anything special. They had sat together-like they were now- and held each other through the night. In the morning they had said goodbye, but there was no promises to see each other again. They both knew that it might not be a possibility. Instead Natasha told Clint she loved him. Her returned to sentiment, they shared a kiss, and then he was gone. For a year she heard nothing from her, knew nothing of his whereabouts, and then all of a sudden he was back, right when she needed him most.

Another tear rolled down her cheek and Clint wiped it away with his thumb. "I'm here when you need to talk." Natasha nodded against his chest and closed her eyes, drawing strength from his presence. She would tell him everything-Fury's alleged death, the Winter Soldier, Clint's absence-but for now she just needed to be held. And that is what Clint planned to do. He would hold her until her world stopped spinning, and then he would turn it upright once more. He would never be a knight in shining armor, but he would die to save her.