Kids, this is the story of how I found out your aunt Lily's oldest secret. She used to be a lesbian… oh and she spent her younger years killing vampires.

"So what are we going to do tonight?" Marshall asked the group as they sat in Ted and Robin's apartment.

"I don't know. I can't believe Carl closed the bar for a night." Barney moaned.

"He's getting married." Robin said, hitting Barney with a cushion from the couch.

"We could always sit around, drink and talk like we usually do." Lily suggested, cutting off the inevitable 'I'd never get married' speech that Barney was about to give.

Barney protested. "But it's just not the same." He argued.

"There's beers in the fridge." Robin told them but made no move to get them.

Ted sighed and got up to grab drinks for everyone. He passed them to Lily and Barney, who were sat closest to the kitchen, and threw the others to Marshall and Robin. Marshall reached for the beer coming his way but the condensation on the bottle allowed it to slip through his fingers while Robin caught hers with ease.

"You catch like a girl." Ted teased Marshall. "Come to think of it, Robin, when did you learn to catch?"

"I've always been able to catch." Robin argued, only to be met by laughter and looks of disbelief from her friends. "Ok fine since a few weeks ago. It's like I suddenly got really good at sports. I don't know, maybe someone's slipping me drugs or something and I'm imagining it." She brushed it off.

"Face it, Robin, Lily's better at sports than you." Barney joked.

"I'm not sure if I should be offended or…" Lily started, only to be interrupted by her cell phone ringing. The name Buffy Summers flashed up on the screen and she reached for it faster than anyone had ever seen her move. "I need to take this." She said, stepping outside into the hall.

"What was that about?" Ted asked Marshall, who shrugged and replied that it was probably about work and she was wise not to answer it around her immature friends.

Meanwhile, outside the apartment, Lily answered the call.

"Hey Buff, what's up?" She smiled, although her friend couldn't see it. Buffy could tell from her voice the she was happy to hear from her.

"We've got a situation. Giles has heard that there's been another slayer activated in New York recently and they are without a watcher and we have no idea how to find them."

"Can't he ask a witch to do a locator spell?" Lily asked.

"We've tried. No one's having any luck. Besides, New York's a big place." Buffy laughed. "The thing is none of them are even close to being as powerful as you, Will."

"I told you I'm done with that."

"I know and I wouldn't ask if we weren't desperate."

"What makes this slayer so important? Why does she even have to be found and brought into this mess?" Lily argued.

"She's different. The only reason we know about her is that there's a prophecy. She's older than all the other potentials and there's got to be a reason she wasn't activated until now but we don't know what it is. We don't even know what she's meant to fight but it's going to be big. The council have a whole team researching it."

Lily sighed. "Fine, one spell. But someone needs to be here to make sure I don't go all evil-apocalypsy again."

"I was waiting for an invitation!" Buffy replied with excitement. "It helps that I've already bought my ticket. I fly in tomorrow."

Lily laughed. "Ok but Buff…"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't drag my friends into this." She pleaded.

"I won't." Buffy assured her.

"And don't bring up Kennedy." Lily said firmly. "Or Tara." She added.

"Now that I can't promise." She laughed.

The two women made arrangements to meet at the airport and hung up the phone.

She went back in to the apartment to find herself unable to concentrate on anything that was happening. Her mind was completely elsewhere, worrying about what new danger was coming their way. Since moving to New York she'd seen so few vampires that she'd started leaving the house without a stake in her bag. It was a habit that took her years to break out of but eventually she realised that the most dangerous things walking the streets of New York were the drunken crowds after last call on a Friday night who were looking for somewhere to get more alcohol. Let's face it, after stopping the end of the world half a dozen times and becoming the most powerful witch in existence, a few drunken idiots were nothing to be scared of.

Of course, this didn't mean that she had completely left her old life behind. Under her bed was a chest filled with weapons and spell books in case of an emergency. Marshall had only questioned her about it once and she'd lied, telling him it was filled with women's stuff and he never mentioned it again.

Someone calling her name suddenly drew her away from her train of thought.

"Lilypad." Marshall persisted.

"Sorry I was in a whole other world." She laughed, which wasn't far from the truth. The world she was living in now almost seemed like a completely different place to the one she'd grown up in. But then again, how much more different could you get when moving from Sunnydale to New York?

"Who were you on the phone to?" Ted asked. "You've been out of it since you came back."

"Oh, umm… an old friend from high school. She wants to come visit."

"Boobs?" Barney asked.

"Barney!" Lily warned, glaring at him.

"So when's she coming?" Marshall said, bringing the conversation back to a safer place for all involved.

"Tomorrow." Lily mumbled, worried that she was giving Marshall such short notice. It wasn't as if they had any plans though, so she knew it wouldn't be a problem. "I'll set up the spare room before I meet her at the airport."

The rest of the evening passed like any other, the alcohol in her system helping her to forget the oncoming whirlwind that was about to hit her life and inevitably shake it up in a way she had been trying so hard to avoid.

Once they returned to their own apartment, Marshall went straight to sleep while Lily struggled to join him. After an hour of staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to take her, she decided it was futile and instead reached for the chest under her bed. Maybe she could find out something about this big evil the new slayer was going to have to fight. At the very least she could refresh her memory of a few basic spells, including the locator spell that Buffy was going to ask her to do the following day. She was a bit out of practice, and the words swam a bit on the page as the alcohol had impaired her ability to concentrate somewhat, but after a while she was able to roughly translate a small section of text that sounded like it referred to the same prophecy Buffy had mentioned. It didn't give her any more information than what she had already been told, other than the fact that the new slayer had been on the Earth for approximately thirty rotations, which she assumed meant she was about thirty years old. Her other theory was that there had been thirty generations of slayer before her but that didn't seem to make sense with the timing of the prophecy. Surely that would have happened ages ago? Of course, she knew it was only a rough translation, the original text probably lost centuries ago.

After giving up on finding any more information, Lily went back to bed. Sleep came easier to her this time as tiredness took over, for which she was grateful.

The next morning Lily headed to the airport alone to pick up Buffy, hoping to get a chance to talk properly in private, and to warn her about Barney. She knew that Buffy was smart enough not to fall for his schemes but she felt that her friend deserved fair warning that he would definitely try it on with her.

She met Buffy at the gate and it was as if no time had passed since they last saw each other, when in reality it had been years. She actually hadn't seen anyone from Sunnydale since she moved to New York.

"Buffy!" She greeted her old friend with a hug.

"Will!" Buffy replied with equal enthusiasm.

They moved away from the embrace and Lily looked awkwardly at the other woman.

"Umm it's Lily now." She said, expanding when she was given a questioning look. "I changed my name when I moved out here. You know, fresh start and all."

"I understand. There were a lot of questions at my new job when my last residence was listed as the town that disappeared."

"Exactly what I wanted to avoid. I didn't want anything linking me back to Sunnydale."

They got in to the cab that Lily had waiting outside.

"So how's everyone else doing?" She asked.

"They're fine. Dawn has been wanting to come out and see you as well but we just haven't had a chance." Buffy told her. "Oh and I have a present from Xander." She added, reaching in her purse and pulling out a gift. Lily unwrapped it to find a box filled entirely with yellow crayons. Her eyes filled with tears at the symbol of their friendship. They didn't just represent how Xander saved her, they were a reminder of all the years that they had been best friends.

"Tell him I say thank you." She said, wiping away a fallen tear as Buffy pulled her into an awkward hug, the seatbelt restraining their movement somewhat.

"You can tell him yourself." Lily looked at Buffy questioningly. "Don't worry." Buffy laughed. Lily put the comment to the back of her mind and the two old friends continued catching up on each others' lives for the remainder of the cab ride back to Lily and Marshall's apartment.

Once they arrived Lily introduced Buffy to Marshall, who had made lunch in time for their arrival. Buffy quizzed the couple on how they met while dropping subtle hints to Lily to tell Marshall about her past as he probed for information from her high school years.

They finished eating and were arranging to meet the rest of their group at Ted and Robin's apartment, something which Buffy seemed reluctant to do. While Marshall set about doing the dishes, Lily pulled her friend aside.

"Why don't you want to meet them, Buffy? It's not like you. I mean I know I made Barney out to be a bit of a pig but…"

Buffy cut her off. "It's not that, Will."

"You want me to do the spell now?" She asked. "Don't you want to at least see a bit of New York before we get down to Slayer business?" Lily was concerned. Buffy wasn't acting like the girl she had once known.

"Whatever you're starting to worry about, don't." Buffy laughed.

"Then what is it?"

"I just think we should wait a while, that's all."

"Buffy…" Lily warned.

"Alright I have a surprise planned but you need to stay put for an hour or so, ok?" Buffy relented.

"A surprise? Oh tell me! Tell me!" Lily pleaded. At this moment Marshall joined the conversation as he finished washing the dishes.

"Lily, you're not trying to ruin whatever surprise Buffy has planned are you?" He teased her, knowing Lily's obsession with finding out, and unfortunately for him and his friends, telling secrets.

"Of course not, I'm…" She was interrupted by a knock at the door and went to answer it.

On the other side stood Xander, looking the same as he ever did. His boyish smile instantly melting through her annoyance that him and Buffy had kept his arrival a secret from him.

"Will!" He greeted her, pulling his oldest friend into a hug.

"Xander!" She replied. "What are you doing here?"

"Buffy said she was coming to town and I wanted to come and see you both." He smiled.

"I've missed you so much!" She squealed as Buffy ran over and embraced the two of them in a strong hug.

"Calm it, Buff. Not all of us are as strong as you." Xander teased, to which Buffy replied with a smile. It was as if nothing had changed between them.

Marshall coughed in the background, bringing their attention back to the present.

"Oh, Xander this is my husband Marshall." Lily said.

"Husband?" He asked.

"Not a word." Lily warned, to which Xander mimed zipping his mouth closed and throwing away the invisible key. "And thank you for the present, by the way." She added.

"So when do we get to meet these friends of yours?" Buffy wondered.

"We can head over there now. I'll set up the couch as a bed when we get back." Lily said, having not expected to have a second houseguest.

The four of them walked the short distance to Ted and Robin's apartment as Marshall tried to get to know his wife's two oldest friends. He couldn't believe that he'd never heard of them, given how close the three of them seemed to be. When he thought about it, he realized that he didn't really know much about Lily's time at high school. She told him stories of her childhood, especially about how much she had hated her father, but he knew nothing of her late teenage years. He vowed to get as much information out of Buffy and Xander as he could during their stay.

After they had arrived and Lily had introduced everyone, warning Barney not to go there with Buffy in the process, the gang got to talking as they normally would. The two newcomers settled in well with the group's rhythm, delighting in the strange stories of Lily's new life that were readily shared. Of course, none of it compared to the stories they could tell about living in Sunnydale but the stripper doppelgänger came pretty close.

For the time that they had been there something about Robin had been nagging at Xander. She looked strangely familiar but he couldn't put his finger on where he had seen her before.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" He asked Robin when the conversation hit a lull.

"Umm I don't think so." Robin replied.

"You're not a demon are you? That seems to be his type." Buffy said, her tone teasing enough for no one to take her seriously.

"I'll have you know Anya was a normal human for most of our relationship."

"She was scared of bunnies!" Buffy shot back.

"Wait, what was she for the rest of your relationship?" Ted asked.

"You don't want to know." Lily smirked before going on to tell the gang about Anya, leaving out the not so small detail of her being an ex-vengeance demon.

"Why did you ever date this girl?" Barney asked. "Wait, was she super hot?"

Everyone laughed as a blush crept up to Xander's cheeks. "Like your dating choices were any better." He retorted, referring to Buffy and Lily.

"All of my ex's were normal!" Lily protested.

"Oz?"

"Freak example. And I'm surprised Buffy and Spike weren't at the top of your bad relationship list."

"Me and Spike were never really me and Spike." Buffy argued, only to be met by three eyes being rolled at her.

"Okay, Tara." Xander tried again.

"You dated a guy named Tara?" Robin asked in disbelief.

"Not exactly." Lily mumbled, looking up at Marshall as she watched the realization dawn in his eyes.

"So do you think you and this Tara would be up for a little reunion?" Barney interrupted.

Luckily for Lily, she was saved from having to give an explanation straight away when Xander realized where he recognized Robin from.

"Robin Sparkles!" He shouted out.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"You're Robin Sparkles!"

"You saw that?" She asked, equally embarrassed and shocked.

"I might have had a bit of a crush on you in high school." He admitted, much to everyone's amusement.

The look on Barney's face suddenly resembled that of an over-excited puppy. The information he'd learnt in the past thirty seconds seemed to immediately send countless sarcastic and, in his opinion, hilarious remarks rushing through his mind.

Before he even had a chance to open his mouth and let them out, Buffy asked a question.

"What's Robin Sparkles?"

"It was Robin's stage name in Canada." Ted explained.

"Stage name? You didn't do porn or anything, right?" She joked, missing the glance that Ted and Marshall shared as they remembered the slap bet made the night they found out about Robin's past.

Robin sighed. "I was a teen pop star. None of my videos were ever seen by anyone outside of Canada."

"Videos?" Barney asked. "You mean there's more than Let's Go To The Mall?"

Xander stepped in. "Yeah there's Sandcastles in the Sand and P.S. I Love You." He told the group as the blush on Robin's cheeks rose.

"Well we have to see these now." Ted declared as Barney was already thrusting his laptop at Xander, who promptly began to search the Internet for the videos.

While everyone was distracted, Lily pulled Buffy aside from the group.

"I don't think I can do it." She admitted.

"Do the spell? Will if anyone can do it, you can."

"I'm so out of practice. I haven't touched that stuff since I moved here. But that's not what I meant."

"Then why not?" Buffy asked.

Lily looked over to her group, who were cheering as the screen showed Robin singing on a beach.

"Because of them." She replied. "My life is so simple now that it's free from vampires and magic. I don't want to mess up what I have here."

"And I don't want to stand in the way of this normal life you have either." Buffy told her sincerely. "But you're one of my oldest friends and I'm going to tell this to you straight. I'm still involved. I don't get a choice. You do and I want to respect that but really all I'm asking is for this one spell. We'll deal with all the nasty stuff."

After a moment's consideration Lily sighed.

"Fine but we do it tonight. I want to get it over with."

"Deal." Buffy smiled. "Shall we head back to your place and do the spell now? Everyone else seems busy and I'm sure Xander will find his was back with Marshall."

Lily nodded in agreement and they to women excused themselves, claiming that a girly catch up was needed.

Once they were back in Lily's apartment, she gathered everything she needed from the chest under her bed and began the spell, Buffy poised to intervene if necessary.

An orange light appeared and began to move out of the door. Lily and Buffy quickly followed it, desperate not to lose their clue about who the new slayer was.

"It's pretty bright already. She must live near our neighborhood." Lily commented as they walked down the street.

The route that the light was taking them seemed familiar to Buffy, although she had to admit the streets all looked pretty similar in the dark.

Lily was surprised to see the light disappear through a wall in the same building that Ted and Robin lived in. They let themselves in and followed the light up two flights of stairs as it got brighter and brighter.

A small squeak came from beside Buffy and she turned to look at her friend, missing the locator light going through the door to the apartment they had just visited.

Lily ran up and knocked on the door frantically until Ted let her in, looking very confused.

"What's up Lil?" Marshall asked.

"Did you not see it?"

"See what?"

"The big orange light floating through your door." Buffy replied and Lily shot her a look of annoyance. "What? They couldn't exactly have missed it."

"Then where did it go?" Lily asked.

"It sort of hit Robin and then…" Xander paused, realization dawning on his face. "Oh."

"Oh?" Robin asked. "What's 'oh'?"

"She can't be." Lily said firmly, although her body was beginning to tremble with shock.

"We can do it again to be sure but I don't see how it could be wrong." Buffy told her.

"Will someone tell us what's going on?" Ted asked.

"Robin's a slayer."