What I've always wanted. . .
by Miyuki-My-Love
8. an age of a start. Rolo sat alone in his room. Pain shooting through his chest with every breath he took. He hugged a small torn stuffed animal as he breathed slowly on his side. He lay on his small mattress next to the cold floor, V.V's words echoing through his small head.
A failure. I'm a failure. He thought to himself. It was his word for the day. Meaning he was a useless piece of trash. The 8 year old shifted to look upon the old rotting ceiling above him. He knew he would never have a future, and today had made that official. Having collapsed after killing the President of Korea was not the ideal ending to that mission. His small heart had pumped it's fill, and it couldn't take it any longer. After being taken to the geass orders hospital, he was checked out and sent to his small courters.
The small boy was snapped out of his trance when the sound of the door being opened reached his ears. In the doorway stood a small girl. She came up beside Rolo and layed down, hugging him tight.
"Are you okay, Rolo Onii-chan?" She squeaked, "People were talking how you collapsed on your mission. Your heart gave out?" She looked up at him with big crystal blue eyes.
"uh-hu," He mumbled.
"It was just a mistake, its okay!" She chirped, climbing onto the mattress and snuggling up to him.
"Kara. . ." He moaned in annoyance, turning over on his side to face her.
"Rolo. . . " Another girl peeped in from the door way, looking almost identical to Kara. She gracefully walked over to Rolo's bed, sitting down by her sisters feet. Kara started to drift off to sleep next to Rolo. He started to sit up, but he stopped when he spotted her sleeping face. He looked over at the other girl.
"I'm a failure, July." He mumbled.
"Rolo . . . it'll be okay." She tried to comfort him. She shifted over to him and stroked his short brown curls. She was older then him, in her early teens, she was his only comfort and a fill in for a mom.
"Kara insisted on seeing if you were okay." she tried to smiled, but her lips were broken.
"Whats going to happen to me? I'm a failed experiment, I'll never be human. Master V.V will just create someone just like me and move on." He whispered.
"Rolo, I wont let him do that, your part of our family, okay?" Rolos eyes grew wide, he stared up at July.
"Family?" He chirped.
She hugged him, "Yup, lil' brother, family."
"Kara! July, Come here, Master V.V has mission for you!" a voice called. Kara popped up with tired eyes. July cracked a smile at Rolo.
"Get some rest, we'll be back later." She then took Kara out of the door and they were gone. Gone for now, but as Rolo didn't know, gone forever. The only promise he had ever gotten, was erased with time.
Rolo waited all night for their return. The day took its cycle and the girls were no where to be seen. Training came, Then lunch, Rolo was then sent on another mission. Came 'home' and went to bed. Still no Kara and July. The routine went on and on. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, soon months into years, and it was apparent what had happened. Rolo finally gave up on them. He would never have a family, and through their absence he had learned one thing. Trust no one, and your heart wont shatter once more. He had asked V.V about them, but there was never an answer. He asked the researchers and other agents, still nothing on the orphaned sisters. Hope was abandon.
After a year of the sisters absence, the only piece of memory that held their happy spirits was July's old type writer. Rolo now 8, started to write on his own time. He wrote his sorrows and wishes. Every sentence started with "That's what Iv'e always wanted. . ." What he always wanted, was just a family. Maybe then, he would have a heart.
13, breaking into teen hood, he sighed as he sunk into his bed. The 13 year old boy had just experienced another mission. His heart was cold as stone, his skin ice like, and his eyes like poison. He was a monster by 13. His whole life was a shell of the happiness that he used to cling to as a small child. He had learned through his years that happiness was just hopes you would never reach, so why try and reach them? His violet eyes wondered over to a corner in his room. There it was, July's old type writer, and an old sentence, "That's what I've always wanted." He mocked the sentence in his head, sitting up from his bed.
"More useless hopes." He huffed.
16 years old is supposed to be the best years of your life. Rolo did have a break through then. He found a family, a brother. A love. A hope, a happiness. And soon, a future. He smiled now, he loved now, his heart could beat its handicapped tune in peace. He could really say "That's what I've always wanted." The monster inside had been tamed. And everyday started out with a hope, and a smile from Nii-san.
"Happy Birthday, Rolo." He had spoken so softly, placing the locket In his hands.
"Thank you Nii-san."
Then soon after, his life would mean so much more. And with the words; "I'll protect you, Nii-san!" His fate was decided.
17, 19, 21. . . He never made it. Another teen death, not living this life to the fullest, but leaving satisfied in his heart. His now rhythmic heart. Lelouch has nightmares about it, and his ghost haunts him. Somewhere a Karoline and July sat alone over one another crying for him. There brother, their family. They hoped he had found happiness. And since then, every October 25th there would be new flowers on a small grave over looking the ocean. Yet, What came as a mystery to Lelouch is that every August 14th, there would be fresh yellow flowers, and a note, always with the same text.
Happy Birthday.
Lelouch almost moved them, but he stopped. Glad to see others knew Rolo. He guessed, thats what he always wanted.
~Fin~
