Shrinked!

Ch.1: I'm Not Crazy…Maybe


"Psychological evaluation?" Tsunade asked incredulous. "That's – That's—"

"A very good idea!" Shizune exclaimed. "It sounds like a very good idea!"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "Good idea? I don't think I agree with your definition of the word 'good', because this sounds like the stupidest idea I've ever heard."

"Now, Hokage-sama," the doctor said kindly, "I understand your reluctance, but I believe it's in the very best interest of Konohagakure to give all your young shinobi a psychological evaluation. It would provide you with great insight into your future shinobi leaders. Such a thing could be very useful."

Tsunade clasped her hands together slowly. She rested her head on her hands, "You just want to see if my shinobi are as insane as you believe. You want to treat someone."

"No!" The doctor said hurriedly, "It's all for Konoha. I could care less about the money I'd get if I would treat them for a long time…"

"Tsunade-sama," Shizune said, "I think you should—"

Tsunade waved her hand in the air impatiently, "Very well, you can 'evaluate' the young shinobi so long as it doesn't interfere with their missions."

The doctor smiled, "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Tsunade-sama," Shizune quickly uttered, "don't you think the siblings from the village hidden in the sand would benefit from this procedure as well?"

Tsunade looked at Shizune, "You want me to ask those three to participate?"

"Well, they are here in the village…"

Tsunade sighed, "Ah, very well."

The doctor respectfully bowed out. Tsunade smiled, this was going to be the funniest thing to ever happen to the village. She couldn't wait to see how the doctor reacted to the crazy, young, shinobi.

Because they were all crazy, very much so.

xXxXx

Kankuro stared at a sheet of paper.

"Kankuro," Temari sighed, "You've been staring at that paper for three minutes without blinking, what is it?"

He finally blinked and lowered the paper, "Absolutely ridiculous, that's what it is."

Gaara walked over to Kankuro and snatched the paper from the puppeteer's hand.

Temari slouched in her chair. "Since Kankuro isn't being responsive, what does it say, Gaara?"

The red-head blinked, "They think we're insane."

"What?" Temari asked, a slight indignant tone to her voice.

xXxXx

Ino waved a sheet of paper under Shikamaru's nose, "Did you get one too?"

Shikamaru groaned, "Ino, you're blocking the clouds."

"Did. You. Get. One?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

Chouji opened a bag of chips, "The letter requiring all the shinobi in our age group attend a 'psychological evaluation'."

Shikamaru tore his gaze from the sky to his best friend. "Are you serious?"

Ino pouted, "So you didn't get one? That isn't fair! Why do I have to go if this lazy bum doesn't?!"

"Is that letter from some doctor…"Shikamaru frowned, "…Jealousy?"

"EnVee." Ino clarified, "Doctor EnVee."

"I got it," Shikamaru yawned, "I just didn't read it." He fished a paper out of his pocket, "See?"

xXxXx

"Sakura-chan, look!" Naruto exclaimed. He was waving a sheet of paper in the air happily. "Look what I was selected for!"

"Naruto," She stressed, "Why are you so happy? Everyone in our age group got one."

"Oh…" His face fell, "Really?"

"Why so happy anyway? Why do you want to go see a shrink?"

"A…shrink…?"

Sakura placed her hands on her hips, "That's what the paper is telling you. They're checking to see if we're crazy or not."

Naruto looked at the paper, "Ah! Why would Tsunade-baachan approve of this?"

Sakura shrugged, "Maybe she thinks we're all crazy."

xXxXx

"I'm not insane." Neji muttered as soon as her finished reading the paper. Neji glanced at Hinata; the letters had just been delivered at the Hyuuga compound. "Does yours say the same thing, Hinata-sama?"

Hinata blinked, "Why…?" She looked at Neji, "Does y-yours…?" Hinata handed him her paper.

"They're the same." He frowned, "We're not insane."

"This-this…it's r-ri-rid-diculous." She stammered softly.

xXxXx

"Lee," Ten-Ten said in astonishment, "You can't really be happy about this. They want us to talk to some-some doctor about-about how crazy we are."

Lee struck the good guy pose, "It is a wonderful opportunity to show off our youthful energies!"

"Lee," Ten-Ten whined, "Get real."

"I am ready, to show those doctors just how sane I am!" Lee grinned.

Ten-Ten sighed, "Honestly, Lee."

xXxXx

"Ay, Akamaru," Kiba agreed with his friend, "This is ridiculous. Why should I attend? I'm perfectly sane."

Shino was reading his letter. "Is this…for real?"

"Everyone got one," Kiba muttered, "Apparently, we all need psychological assistance."

"What is Tsunade thinking?" He mumbled

"She isn't." Akamaru barked in agreement. "That lady's the one who needs help."

xXxXx

"Temari," Gaara muttered staring up at the building venomously. "Why are we here?"

"Because," Temari gritted her teeth, "Our presence is requested by the Hokage to attend a psychological evaluation."

"But why," Kankuro whined, "are we here? We could've refused the request. It was a request."

"To prove to that old bat that we are not insane."

"Then showing up might have been a bad choice." Kankuro muttered.

"Shut up." Temari snapped.

Gaara sighed.

Temari muttered under her breath, "Stupid, measly, old, bat."

This was going to be a horrible day. He was sure of it.

xXxXx

"Hello! And welcome!" A very cheery blonde woman greeted them. "We've been expecting you! Oh, and you all look so rested and joyous! Here, here!" The woman shoved some papers at them. "Fill them out. Hurry! Hurry! Personal satisfaction does not wait!" The woman grinned.

"…Okay…" Shikamaru muttered, "I'll, uh, do that…"

Ino picked up the papers and dragged him and Chouji to a set of chairs. "Come on, let's fill this stuff out."

A few minutes later…

"Okay!" The chipper receptionist exclaimed happily, "Are you all ready to embark on the journey of self-discovery!? Mz. EnVee, is waiting, come along." She paused and placed a hand on Chouji shoulder, "Oh sorry! No food allowed." She pointed to the bag of chips.

Chouji looked at his food, "But…they're limited edition chips…"

"So-Ree!" She sang.

Chouji mournfully chucked the bag of chips in the trash. "This is the worst…"

xXxXx

"WOW! You two filled these forms out fast!"

"Y-Yeah…" Sakura muttered, "I'm used to filling out…forms…"

"That's great!! Aren't you excited to meet the wonderful Doctor EnVee!!"

"Are you…Okay?" Naruto asked her with a scared look on his face.

"Okay! OKAY! I'm better than okay! I'm happy! Mz. EnVee has changed me into the person you see before you!!" The receptionist declared cheerfully.

Sakura backed away slowly.

"I hope she doesn't change us…" Naruto muttered uneasily.

xXxXx

"Oh, Kami, how did I get pulled into this?" Ten Ten asked wearily as Lee and the receptionist exchanged words. "I should have come with Neji and Hinata."

Rock Lee's eyes widened in glee, "Yes!"

"Exactly!" The receptionist exclaimed, "Aren't you excited!?"

"Here we are in the prime of our youth on this joyous day to start the journey of ultimate happiness! This is fantastic!"

"ALL RIGHT! Let's start our journey!!"

"Hai!" Lee responded.

xXxXx

"Isn't it wonderful!?" The blonde woman exclaimed loudly two inches in front of Hinata's face.

Hinata squeaked and hid behind Neji.

"Oh, Kami! Two young lovers, embarking on the journey of happiness! HOW WONDEROUS!!"

Neji eyes bulged, "We're not…lovers." Both looked appalled at the thought. "She's my—"

"YOU SHOULD BE!" She exclaimed, "Let's start our journey to discover your love! Mz. EnVee will love treating you two!!"

"She needs to be on medication…" Hinata whispered quietly behind Neji.

xXxXx

"YOU SHOULD BE ECSTATIC, CHILDREN!!" She grinned. "This will mark the beginning of life for you as you know it! This will change your perception forever!!"

"No, I've already had one of those." Gaara stated, "I'm good."

"THIS WILL BE BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE! All you demented children will find happiness once and for all!"

"HEY!" Temari yelled furiously, "Don't you go calling my brothers demented you demented witch!"

The woman grinned widely, "Ah, we have an angry child! Don't worry dearie! Soon you'll love everyone and will never yell again!!"

Kankuro glanced at the nutty receptionist, "Can you really do that to her? Cause if you will I'll give this crap a try."

"KANKURO!" Temari screeched.

"Be happy! Happy, happy, happy! Everything will make you happy once Mz. EnVee treats you! Don't you worry dearies. We'll fix you all!!"

Gaara eyed her carefully, "Has…EnVee treated you…?"

"Yes! Can you not see what a wonderful job she's done!?"

"Temari," Gaara said to his sister, "Can we still refuse to accept treatment and never come back again?"

"No. We will prove to that bat we are not crazy!"

"Won't be too hard," Kankuro muttered, "If everyone's as fucked up as this lady."

"HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! WE LOVE TO BE HAPPY!!"

xXxXx

"…Umm…" Kiba said nervously, "I, uh, heard what you told the people before us…so can we, um, skip the…pep talk?"

"Pep talk!" The blonde receptionist cooed, "You haven't had a pep talk until—"

"Ms. EnVee treats us." Shino interrupted, "We got the gist of it."

"OH, she's a wonderful doctor! She does wonders! You just wait!"

Akamaru started barking, "Ay, Akamaru, hush," Kiba murmured, "I know she's…batty, but be quiet."

"No pets!" She said happily.

"…But…Akamaru is…"

She grinned, "Those are the rules!"

He looked at her, "You're too happy to be working here. Let me take Akamaru in and I won't tell the doctor you're secretly stealing people's medication."

"Me? Why I would never." She wagged her finger in Kiba's face. "Bad boy, trying to blackmail, Mz. EnVee will LOVE to treat you. Now, I said it before, no pets!"

Kiba looked at Akamaru, "But…"

"His problems are with the dog," Shino muttered, "I assume EnVee would like to become acquainted with Akamaru if Kiba's psychological problems are with him."

"YES!"

Kiba and Shino backed away a bit.

"That's perfectly acceptable!" An insanely wide grin was on her face, "Well, let's begin this WONDEROUS journey!!"


A/N: How is it so far? As bad as I think? Should I continue?