Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

Things Belarus isn't allowed to do:

1. I'm not allowed to stalk big brother.

-But I will and no one will stop me because no one is crazy enough to do so.

2. I'm not allowed to hunt down America just to get on big brother's good side.

3. I'm not allowed to hunt down Lithuania just because he was spending too much time with big brother.

4. I'm not allowed to ask Bulgaria for any spying advices.

-Even thou he promised to tell me everything he knows about spying.

-Big brother told me he is a bad influence and not to spend time with him...strange weren't they friends?

5. I'm not allowed to go to big brother's birthday dressed as a bride.

6. I'm not allowed to destroy the doors at his house.

-Even thou they are treacherous and are keeping brother away from me.

7. I'm not allowed to make any comments about Poland's fashion sense.

8. I'm not allowed to torment other nations.

-Even if it is fun.

9. I'm not allowed to give any advices to England.

10. I'm not allowed to hunt big brother more than five days a month.

-I'll catch him next month.

11. I'm not allowed to say that the other Slavs should bow down to big brother.

-We are known as vengeful and freedom loving nations and the Balkan nations are violent enough without being provoked. I must not anger them.

12. I'm not allowed to prank Vatican City.

-Even if that wannabe nation has been causing problems for the entire East Europe for centuries.

13. I'm not allowed to show my dislike towards nations by sending them to the middle of nowhere.

-Even if it is a good idea.

14. I'm not allowed to blackmail Hungary into giving me all the photos she has taken of Ivan-niisan.

-Or for some photos of Canada.

15. I'm not allowed to be a motherly figure to Sealand.

-For some strange reason he fears me.

16. I'm not allowed to skin Turkey alive every time he tries to molest Ukraine.

-But I am allowed to beat him up.

17. I'm not allowed to make any jokes about Italy.

-He is cute and I shouldn't be mean to him.

18. I'm not allowed to say that brother has agreed to marry me.

-...for now.

19. I'm not allowed to say that I invented torture.

-But I do practice it.

20. I'm not allowed to send any wolfs after France every time he tries to molest me.

-I can simply skin him alive.

21. I'm not allowed to say that I am going to date Canada, just to make big brother drop his guard.

-It may hurt Canada's feelings.

22. I'm not allowed to help Hungary on her "hunting" trips.

-According to the other nations:"One perverted female nation that stalks us is enough!"

23. I'm not allowed to say anything about the African nations.

24. I'm not allowed to make false promises about leaving big brother alone.

-Because I'm obviously lying.

25. I'm not allowed to sing creepy songs as serenades to brother.

-Even if I don't consider them creepy.

26. I'm not allowed to tell anyone that I can't decide whatever I should torture them or kill them.

-They will panic.

-Causing panic is a bad thing.

27. I'm not allowed to claim that I'm a mad scientist.

-Everyone knows who the real mad scientist is and how much that Balkan prick hates competition.

28. I'm not allowed to say anything about old age in front of the Balkan nations.

-Even thou I believe they are old enough to pass the torch.

29. I'm not allowed to attack nations that describe Kiev Russ as an asshole.

-Even if I would like it.

-Causing pain to another living being is not nice.

30. I'm not allowed to be mean to the other nations.

31. I'm not allowed to say bad things about the pets of the other nations.

-Even thou they never go near me when I want to pet them.

32. I'm not allowed to start wars using muppets as an army.

-Sadly muppets don't exist, but my scientists are trying to create some.

33. I'm not allowed to force other nations into helping me stalk Russia.

34. I'm not allowed to make an alliance with the other female nations the main purpose of which would be to take over the world.

35. I'm not allowed to make an alliance with the other female nations the main purpose of which would be to force the male nations to become homosexuals.

-Even if it would be hot.

36. I'm not allowed to threaten Santa Claus with a knife when he refuses to leave a chained Russia with a ribbon around his neck under the Christmas tree.

-But I can always sue him.

37. I'm not allowed to send poisonous cookies to a nation that had prank called me.

-I can always send poisonous snakes instead.

38. I'm not allowed to foretell the future of the nations that had ever dared to date big brother.

-Although I'm quite sure that my prediction will be accurate.

39. I'm not allowed to use the other nations for target practice.

40. I'm not allowed to go anywhere near Macedonia.

-Believe it or not Bulgaria actually cared for his little brother enough to threaten my life.

-I'm bad influence...who isn't?

41. I'm not allowed to start a catfight among the other nations.

-They don't need my help in that department.

42. I'm not allowed to wear pink.

-Apparently it gives big brother nightmares.

43. I'm not allowed to start stalking other nations just to pass the time.

44. I'm not allowed to say that I have weapons of mass destruction.

-Because I don't.

-Big brother may have a heart attack.

45. I'm not allowed to eat chili.

-Apparently it makes me a better stalker.

46. I'm not allowed to go anywhere near Iceland.

-...I don't really know why.

47. I'm not allowed to create anything that may cause a mass lost of sanity just to get my hands on big brother.

-Why should I, the meetings are doing this for me.

48. I'm not allowed to try to make Romania and Hungary friends.

-I will fail and maybe even cause war.

-They will fight no matter what I try.

49. I'm not allowed to tell younger nations that stalking is good.

-Or give them stalking tips.

-Or stalking equipment.

-I will be creating monsters and that's the last thing the world needs.

-I'm bad influence.

50. I'm not allowed to train any of the African nations to be a copy of myself.

-That's cruel.

-I'm bad influence.