A Curious Case of Kanda's Hair

~FallingBreathless~


D Gray Man One-Shot. Cannon Crack. For Laughs :)


It's been a long time since I've written anything due to being a hectic senior in high school. Tomorrow is my last AP Exam, and I wrote this in about 30-40mins in order to relieve stress. Dedicated to two people who are near and dear to me -the Kanda and Lavi to my Allen. (Yes, we are doing a group D Gray Man cosplay this summer!) Enjoy! -FallingBreathless


It was the beginning of another day at the Black Order. Lenalee was eating breakfast, and soon Allen and Lavi joined her at the table. Apparently Timcanpy was throwing a golem tantrum this morning, and Lavi had received a sound scolding from Bookman.

"Stop that, Tim! I apologized already," Allen cried, as Tim vindictively bit and yanked at tufts of Allen's hair. "I didn't mean to chomp on you during the night (again). I was having a really good dream."

"Doesn't that make it the fourth time this week?" said Lavi, grinning as he stabbed a forkful of scrambled eggs. "You know, I hate to say this, but maybe you should eat more during dinner."

"Maybe you're right, Lavi…" Allen sighed as he finally caught a hold of the gold golem and placed it on his lap.

xXx

Meanwhile, Lenalee had been giggling quietly to herself at the boys' antics. Finally she spoke up as Allen began digging into his food.

"Lavi, is your ear alright?" She asked.

"Oh, you mean this?" He asked, pointing to his left ear that now matched the color of his hair. "It's nothing. The old Panda was just making a fuss over nothing again. I swear, having to listen to his scolding hurt my ears more."

"I see," Lenalee replied. "Well, I suppose that'd good, though you really shouldn't skip doing your Bookman duties."

"Bah, what duties?" Lavi scoffed. "He just wanted me to copy manuscripts for him. As I said, he likes to make a big deal out of everything."

Not entirely convinced, Lenalee decided to let the topic drop. The conversation soon moved to more mundane topics such as the weather or the most recent inventions of the Science division.

xXx

"So they came up with a new texture changing potion that will work on any material?" Allen asked, as he nibbled on the remains of his plateful of food.

"Yea, and they wouldn't let me test it out." Lavi complained. "They said that they didn't want me playing around with it since it was still in the experimental stage. Can you believe that?"

"Well you know what happened last time," Lenalee reminded. "They just don't want to take any more risks, what with how…upset…Kanda was last time."

To this Lavi couldn't help but start laughing, attracting the attention of the rest of the cafeteria.

"I almost forgot about that," Lavi chuckled. "Well this time, he's going to go ballistic."

"This time?!" Allen and Lenalee asked in unison.

"Oh yea, since I decided to skip going to the library, I went back to the Science Division and found that they'd left the bottle of their new potion out. So I decided that I'd go ahead and do some more testing for them." Lavi paused as he noticed the glares that Lenalee and Allen were directing his way. "What?"

"You know," Allen started, "Where is Kanda anyways? I haven't seen him all morning."

"You're right," Lenalee agreed. "He usually is up pretty early. Lavi what exactly did y-"

Just then, a nearby wall exploded, the nearest people scrambled out of the disaster site and the cafeteria grew silent. Was this an akuma attack? Shouldn't the alarm system have gone off the moment an akuma was found crossing the perimeter?! With bated breathe everyone waited as the clouds of dust settled, a single figure could be seen standing in the newly-made entry way.

xXx

"Who are you!" Allen called out "What purpose do you have here?"

There was a moment of deathly silence before the figure spoke, a sound so seeped in malice and guttural that it made everyone flinch.

"What exactly did you do…Damn usagi."

Lavi's blood ran cold, as all Hell broke loose. Catching only a blurred dark ponytail, Lavi's back collided with the ground. A boot pressed down harshly on his chest, hindering his breathing, but then again if he breathed the blade pressed into the skin of his neck would have skewered him. Above him hovered a murderous denizen of Hell that could have given Satan a run for the Evilest Employee of the Month.

"K-Kanda," he choked out.

"Oy, K-Kanda," Allen broke in, grabbing Kanda's arm and trying to pull the sword away from Lavi, "Let's talk this over. I don't know what he did, but violence won't help solve anyth-"

"Shut up, damn Moyashi," Kanda gritted through his clenched teeth. "Speak, usagi, or your life may end here."

xXx

Allen backed away, perplexed. He could activate his own innocence and stop…his mind froze in mid thought as he caught a glance at Kanda's hair from the corner of his vision. Allen broke out laughing. He couldn't stop. Soon he was crying from laughing so hard and was doubled over on the ground gasping for air.

"A, Allen?!" Lenalee asked, concerned. "What's so funny?"

"I, K-Kanda, his..." Allen gasped before shutting up as the blade had moved from Lavi's neck to hovering above his head. Kanda was positioned to drive it down and nail Allen's head to the floor.

"Not. Another. Word."

Although Allen did shut up, the rest of the cafeteria burst out laughing. Even Lenalee was laughing. In going after Allen, Kanda had turned around, and now everyone had a good view of Kanda's ponytail.

It was curly.

And it wasn't just the kind one would get from sleeping straight after a shower, but perfect pin curls practically were sprouting amongst giant, soda can sized curls. The entire ponytail had become a pear shape conglomeration.

xXx

Imminent danger temporarily gone, Lavi was also cracking up. Wiping away a stray tear, Lavi propped himself up into a sitting position.

"I've got to tell the Science Division that their potion was a success."

"There, there, Kanda" Lenalee soothed. It would have been more effective had she not been giggling through her words.

"There's not much you can do now, Kanda." Allen asserted, placing a pitying hand of condolence on Kanda's shoulder. "Let's go see the Science guys, they can probably help turn your hair back to normal."

There was no response other than the slight trembling of the other's body. Allen stopped smiling and gulped apprehensively before looking up to see Kanda's expression.

x

What happened next made everyone wish it were an akuma attack instead.

xx

Komui had to add a new emergency procedure for the Black Order.

xxx

Allen was sent to the infirmary where he is still, presently.

xxxx

Lavi was [CENSORED FOR GRAPHIC VIOLENCE].


Thanks for reading, and I hoped you enjoyed this. Leave some quick feedback, and I might write more. Idea suggestions are always welcome ^^

I might even write a story about the boys in which you could make an appearance *winks* I do enjoy inserting OCs into my fanfics; it's like adding more of my own personal flair and creativity into a larger world!

A Heart and a Half,

~FallingBreathless~