Turn Around
Court robes billowing around him, Wang So strides purposefully across the yard, on his way to the throne room. The ceremonies that followed King Taejo's death and King Hyejong's enthronement are finally over, allowing life at the palace to resume some semblance of a routine. Or as close to one as it can get, So thinks grimly. Wang Yo has only been dead a fortnight, following his failed escape attempt, and the Fourth Prince is no fool – there will be more attacks on the new King. The ones against their father never stopped coming, despite the late King's aura, power, and influence. And now, in these uncertain transition times…
Wang So knows where he stands – where his father placed him, where he would want to stand anyway, to guard his brother's side and advise him. It has been clear to him since he came back to Songak, and he has had time to think about his motivations. It isn't blind loyalty to the throne, to a position or symbol; Wang So has never cared much for that. No, part of it is gratitude to a brother that has always been kind to him, even when his own mother rejected him. Mu was the only one who pleaded with their father to have his adoption by the Kang of Shinju annulled, to have him home and safe, and he hadn't stopped, not until So was finally allowed to live in Songak. That had barely been two years earlier. Mu has been taking his side for longer than So can remember, and the Fourth Prince isn't one to take it lightly.
But gratitude would be nothing if it wasn't for his deeply rooted conviction that Wang Mu is a good man, and that he will make a good King. He has already started, working to find the delicate balance between the rigour and goodwill he will need to unify the clans and rule undisturbed. A utopia, perhaps, but that, So reckons, is where he intervenes. The Fourth Prince has never had ambitions or dreams of grandeur – to simply be allowed to attend court meetings, where he can be useful in some constructive and positive way, is more than he ever thought he would get. But he is strong, and his reputation, tainted as it is, gives him influence, commands respect. He has cards to play, and using them to help King Hyejong seems right enough a cause.
But today, Wang So comes before the King with a request. He waits until Mu is alone in the throne room, with only the ever-present Choi Ji Mong standing next to him, and bows.
"A request, you say?" the King repeats his words, raising a questioning eyebrow. His brother has only made one request before, over a year ago, to a different king, but Mu remembers. So keeps his head bowed, his gaze low, and his hands clasped in front of him, with no trace of his usual sarcastic or flippant attitude. This must mean a lot to him, then. Mu hides a smile - he has an idea of what it could be.
"Your Majesty," So starts, his voice clear and firm, but with his head bowing a little lower in respect, "please let Hae Soo leave Gyobang. She was sent there unjustly, and she was instrumental in stopping the coup that followed King Taejo's passing. She has earned it. Please let her go."
He has rehearsed the words, of course. He has chosen them carefully, hoping they would have enough impact without making him sound arrogant. Mu is not their father and So trusts him to be kind, but he is King, and if So oversteps his boundaries, he will have to react. Wang So is well aware that his track record in dealing with authority isn't the greatest, so he waits with baited breath, thinking he's done right, but his heart still beating a little faster, his hands imperceptibly clenching. "Please. She has suffered enough here."
But the King smiles his brotherly, warm smile. So he was right. Wang So may be different from their other brothers, in his manners, in his reasoning, in his righteousness, even, but there is one topic on which he is still easily predictable. He has never asked for anything, unless it was for Hae Soo. Mu is glad that, this time, he has good news for his brother.
"She has, indeed," Mu replies. "Everything has already been arranged."
So starts, momentarily relieved but looking up at him and blinking in confusion. "Arranged, your Majesty?"
"Yes. Hae Soo will be returning to Damiwon and assuming the position of Senior Court Lady. It is the least I can do, for her help. Choi Ji Mong relayed my proposal to her this morning, and she has accepted. She must be moving back as we speak."
"Back to Damiwon?" So tries not to frown, and tries not to read anything into the piercing look Choi Ji Mong gives him. This isn't right. It isn't what he wants. He wants Soo out of the palace, free of the constant scheming, free to be somewhere she at least has a fighting chance. He hasn't forgotten her flat, half-dead stare, her limping, or how she stays as far away from everyone as she can, how scared she is to associate with anyone. She needs to leave, before the palace crushes her completely. He has even worked out a plan: she can go to Baek Ah's house, at first, to rest and recover, and to figure out what she wants to do next. He and the thirteenth prince have power and money. They can help her, provide her with everything she may need to start over, be it in Songak or anywhere else. That isn't the hard part. The hard part is freeing her, and So curses himself for not coming to find the King sooner.
"Yes. It seemed fitting, as she is already familiar with it." It is the astronomer who answers, and him, Wang So can openly glare at. "You knew what you were doing…" "Court Lady Hae will assume her duties tomorrow."
And somehow, Soo has agreed to this.
"I will live according to my own choices," she had words had echoed his own wishes, stirring a longing in him that he doesn't like to dwell on. He had admired her then, for her inner strength, for her rebellious streak, so out of place in this palace, in a mere court lady. If the palace hasn't broken her very core yet, and if this is her choice, then… He may not like it, but he has no right to interfere.
So is keenly aware of the King and the astronomer's gazes on him, judging his reaction. Well versed in palace protocol now, he dips into a low bow.
"Your benevolence is great, your Majesty," he says, hiding behind formality. He'll decide later if he meant it.
"Hae Soo has been of great help to me too, as you know. I am glad she chose to stay." Mu adds, leaning forward and making conversation now, one brother to another.
But Wang So isn't ready to drop his formal stance yet. "Soo has always been generous," he answers noncommittally, keeping his gaze low. There is a dark pull right below his heart, and he is only half-surprised to realize that it is fear. Fear of what the palace might have in store, fear of what it will do to Soo.
He has promised to take care of her. Wang So keeps his promises.
"And her tea-making skills are unparalleled," Mu adds, unaware of his brother's inner turmoil. Choi Ji Mong agrees vigorously, and So forces a smile on his face. Mu means well. Mu cares, too, in a way. Maybe, maybe he is worrying too much. Only time will tell, now.
They exchange a few more pleasantries before So takes his leave. Damiwon will be quiet at this hour and he wants a chance to talk to Soo, or at least to see her, and see for himself that she is, indeed, fine with this new development.
Baek Ah intercepts him on the way there. The younger prince looks around them before speaking, as if to make sure they won't be overheard.
"Brother," he starts in a low voice, "I just got back from Damiwon. Have you heard? About Soo?"
"Yes, his Majesty just told me. Choi Ji Mong relayed the King's offer to her this morning, and she accepted."
"I know you wanted her out of the palace…" Baek Ah says, a sad tinge to his voice, as if he were offering… comfort?
"This isn't about me, Baek Ah," he answers, cutting that train of thought short. "I was too late, and Soo has made her choice."
"Is it really her choice, though?" The sad undertone turns dark. Baek Ah is learning, So thinks, learning about deceit and double entendres - the palace at work, where they all have to learn how to play the game or be crushed by it. Wook's betrayal has shoved it right under his nose. It is another shadow in the picture, one that So firmly intends to stop before it can grow any more.
"His Majesty wouldn't force her," he says reassuringly. He wouldn't put it past Choi Ji Mong to have worded the offer in a way that Soo couldn't refuse, but he keeps that to himself. "If it is Soo's choice, we can only respect it."
There is a pause as Baek Ah nods, but So can't help himself.
"Did you talk to her?" he asks, and Baek Ah is too clever not to see that his brother still worries, despite his words.
"Only briefly. She was… very formal. She didn't look thrilled, exactly."
So is already baring his teeth and ready to charge into Damiwon before Baek Ah finishes his sentence, but the younger prince stops him, a surprisingly strong hand catching his arm before he can truly take a step.
"It's like you said, Brother. If this is her choice, we have to support her. You've seen her lately, she'll need us to be her friends. We can't cause any more trouble around her."
Wise words, and true words, still… So relents, none too happy about it.
"We should give her time." Baek Ah adds for emphasis, to which So answers with a terse nod.
Whatever else Baek Ah is about to say is cut short by the appearance of Hae Soo herself, clad in her new grey silk uniform and followed by a group of her underlings as she makes her way down the porch. They have not seen the princes and keep walking, giving both brothers an occasion to watch Soo intently, both trying to decipher her body language and deduce her true feelings about her new situation. Her face is carefully neutral, and her back a little too straight, her stride stiff as she tries to mask her limp. So does not miss the looks that some of the underlings give her behind her back – looks disapproving, looks of envy. Soo, who was Court Lady Oh's favourite before falling in disgrace, and who could still see the late King in person… They will not make her life easy. It makes Wang So want to find his old mask and wear it in front of them, to scare them into submission.
"We'll keep an eye on her, yes? Just in case?" Baek Ah asks as the court ladies move away. So he has read them well, too.
"Yes," So answers, resigned. There is really nothing else they can do for now. "Let's see how this goes."
Hae Soo did not want this. Did not want to return to Damiwon, where she can't escape her memories, does not want to smile and bow and play courteous for the princes. She had asked the late King Taejo to send her far away, and he wouldn't. Now his son is King, and the King has asked her to stay as a court lady, and who is she to refuse? She has nowhere else to go. Not the Hae clan, who disgraced after the wedding scandal, who she doesn't know anyway. Not to anyone in Songak. She has been trapped for well over a year, kept behind walls so hermetic that she hasn't been able to make friends from the outside world. Woo Hee was the only one, but Woo Hee is gone, now, and Soo has no idea where to find her. She hasn't dared ask Baek Ah, but from the longing that sometimes darkens his eyes, when he thinks that no one is watching, she has guessed that he doesn't know, either.
The Fourth Prince? She could have taken him up on his offer, married him and left. There is no doubt in her mind that he would keep true to his word, even when it comes to the possibility of divorce. He is a honourable man, the Fourth Prince, a good man, when he allows himself to be more than scars and sword skills.
But that is precisely why she couldn't go through with it. She will not use him for her own selfish good, not when so many already have. And Soo understands the game, now: as fond as the King is of his younger brother, a water maid is far, far too low to marry a prince. Mu could not have allowed it. It would have discredited him and his judgement when he is still in the first crucial months of his reign. What King Hyejong needs, now, is to gain the support of the clans, not to embarrass himself because of a maid.
The King has done as much as he could for her. He has offered her a more comfortable position, a cage that she knows, the limits of which she has already tested, where her royal friends can still visit her. Court Lady Oh has taught her well, and Hae Soo is not ungrateful. She will not fail.
The irony of her occupying this very position, in light of the events that followed her downfall, is not lost on her.
Still, she put on a brave face in front of Choi Ji Mong when she had accepted the offer, knowing that her only choice lay in which bars would hold her, and again when she first served the King, when she thanked him for his generosity. Gratitude also means having him and everyone else think that she is genuinely glad for her latest twist of fate. She puts up with all of it: the long hours, the pain in her knee, the demands of the royal family, the remarks, the critics, the half-hidden looks and muffled words of the other court ladies. Her own memories.
There are some good moments. Baek Ah and Jung certainly seemed overjoyed to see her back. They visit often and entertain her with the tales of their latest adventures, and she plays along, not wanting to dampen their spirits. Sometimes, she even manages to relax, if only a little. She knows she is safe with them. Still, it is Wang So who comes to find her that evening, after a long day of running part of the palace and avoiding the little ghosts hidden behind every corner. She has scarcely seen him, these past few weeks, but she thinks that she understands him even better now, now that her own reputation precedes her everywhere she goes. Everyone knows her story, and no one will let her forget. She would be surprised if the prince hasn't come to the same conclusion. Maybe this is why he comes to her.
"You look like you need to take your mind off of things," he tells her.
And she does. But she can't admit that. Not when he has already risked his life for her. "It's just been a long day," she replies.
There's something akin to concern in his eyes. He shakes his head slowly and takes her hand, softer than he's ever done it, so she lets him guide her out of Damiwon and deeper into the palace. She quickly recognizes the route they're taking.
The Fourth Prince is taking her to his favourite lake.
"Was there something you needed, your Highness?" she asks, because she is not in the mood to put up with princely whims tonight.
"There is something I want to show you," he answers, and refuses to say more.
They keep walking until they reach the boat that is kept tied to a tree. Soo is about to state that she has not even the slightest intention of climbing into it, but So lets go of her hand to pull a small package from under one of the benches.
"Let's go just a bit farther," he says as he reaches her again, before taking her farther down the bank, past a small thicket. It is still the middle of summer, and the air around them pleasantly smells of warm earth and grass, far from the perfumes and scented candles of the palace.
The prince sits by the water and motions for her to do the same, but Soo merely raises a sceptical eyebrow in response. He interprets it as her being curious about the package in his hand, and quickly opens it, revealing a flask that Soo can only guess contains some kind of alcohol and a cup.
"You're full of surprises, your Highness," she comments wryly.
"Don't you want a drink?" he asks, shaking the flask slightly so she can hear the liquid in it. She does want a drink. If it could solve things, she'd drink herself into oblivion, and she has removed all alcohol from Damiwon precisely to avoid the temptation. When did the prince get so insightful? And why does she take him up on his offer, sitting beside him as he passes her the cup and fills it?
The rice wine warms and burns her throat and down her chest, and she welcomes the sensation. She empties the cup in one swallow, and only then notices the view on the lake. No buildings can be seen from where they sit; the vegetation around them and on the other side of the water hides them all from her view. In a few more cups, she'll tell herself that it is almost as if she really were in the countryside, away from the palace… Ah. Was that the Fourth Prince's intention all along? An illusion of freedom, when he can't give her the real thing?
She turns to him and eyes him questioningly, but he only smiles and refills her cup, his face a perfect mask of innocence. So he did plan this. Soo is not sure what to make of it. She is not sure what to make of him, in that moment, like she hasn't since his return. He has feelings for her; she knows that. She has feelings for him too, but lately they've been changing, so much so that she doesn't know what they are anymore. But she doesn't want to think about that right now, she wants her mind quiet and empty, so she downs her cup and wonders how many more it will take to make her stop thinking about it.
If anything, this is a nice view, and new to her, and she appreciates the gesture.
"You're not drinking?" she asks when he fills her cup the third time.
"I only have one cup," he answers with an apologetic smile.
"It's no fun to drink alone. Here," she says, handing him her drink. He hesitates, making Soo wonder if sharing a cup has any specific secret scandalous meaning in Goryeo that she somehow missed, but, to her relief, he eventually does take it.
"Do you come here often, your Highness?"
"Sometimes, when I need some quiet. Only Baek Ah knows to find me here. And you, now. Come here whenever you want. I keep the flask full."
They have that in common too, Soo thinks, this longing for freedom. The prince said he'd tasted it, during his travels to Jin, and now he, too, apparently misses it. If even princes have to resort to cheap tricks like this to feel free, what hope does she have? It makes her angry, to see her life laid out in front of her like this, every day identical to the one before, a constant repetition of duties to perform – because that's all it is, a performance, everyone down to the lowest water girl pretending to be honoured to be there when, really, they're all screaming for freedom. The King included.
But, there are no wrong ways to survive.
Soo remembers returning to Damiwon, putting on her uniform and sitting in Court Lady Oh's chair, and thinking that if this is what it takes to survive, then she will become the very best; she will be excellent at surviving.
Spiteful, maybe, but it is one of the few things the palace can't take from her.
She realizes then that So has been watching her through her musings. His face is unreadable, but something in his eyes tells her that her thoughts have been pretty obvious on her face. To his credit, he doesn't comment on them.
"I never asked… How was Jin?" she says, more because she fears uncomfortable silences and the prince's scrutiny than out of sincere interest.
He accepts her diversion with a knowing smile and, to her surprise, Wang So, future king of Goryeo, turns out to be a more than decent storyteller. The scenery he paints is vivid in her mind and, as much as she never really cared for history, some names do echo in her memories and she finds herself asking for more details. The prince happily complies, adding anecdotes to his tale – another ambassador's obsession with tea, the small, flat-faced and long-haired dogs the ladies kept close, how he had to be on his best behaviour and follow the heavy protocol and how, really, she would have been proud of him, how different the food, a particular sight on the way there or back.
Even when he asks how she's handling her return to Damiwon, he doesn't push for answers, and tactfully avoids more sensitive topics. He makes her no grand promises, does not offer twenty new ways he could break the rules and risk his position and life to get her out of the palace again, even though Soo is sure he has thought of them. Maybe it is the alcohol they've been drinking, but she finds her smiles are heartfelt, and so is her laughing.
She hasn't had this in so long – simply enjoying an evening with a friend. So has made it clear that he does not care about etiquette and protocol when they are alone, and not having to check herself constantly is nice. She knows her words have shocked Baek Ah more than once, even if he is too kind to say anything about it, but So takes it all in stride. At worse, he'll deem them a quirk of hers and leave it at that. But more often than not, he listens, listens to Go Ha Jin share her outrageously modern views, like he listened to her talk about justice, a lifetime ago.
Later, when they've left the alcohol flask significantly lighter, he walks her back to Damiwon.
"Thank you for tonight, your Highness. I did need the respite," she says as she bows to the prince.
"Anytime," is his only reply as he waves her goodbye. Soo is still surprised at how easy, how casual the evening has been. Maybe this is what King Taejo meant when he told her she should focus on what she has instead of what may be. She has friends who understand and accept her. One, in particular, who can be adorable one moment and completely infuriating the next, but still always, always has her back.
She doesn't remember her dreams in the morning. Only that they were warm, and safe.
Status. For many of the royals and many of the families that gravitate around them, there is no greater goal, no greater wealth, and no greater reward that this. Queen Yoo knows it well. All her life, she has been groomed, she has studied, trained, acted, and plotted for this and this only, each generation expected to go a step further, a step higher, than the previous one. She eyed the very top of the ladder.
She would be Queen.
Her family rejoiced when her wedding to Taejo was announced.
She seethed.
She wanted to reach the very top, to go as high as a woman could, and a queen she was, but she was only a third wife, a political pawn moved to ensure her family's future. One of many. In her eyes, nothing special. Nothing like what she truly deserved.
She had one asset, that maybe the other queens didn't: she knew the rules and how to rewrite them, how to bend them to her will. She would give Taejo a Crown Prince. Prince Mu was not much older than her own sons, he was sickly, and accidents happen. Or one makes them happen.
She would be Queen Mother.
And she has almost, almost succeeded. Would have, if she hadn't been betrayed by her third son, if her second one had been more efficient.
But So is not her son anymore, and Yo is dead, her plans with him. Still, she has more cards to play. She is nothing if not adaptive.
"Ah, Jung!" the queen exclaims, pulled out of her musings by her youngest son's arrival. He greets her and joins her around the table, sitting in front of her, where a tray with a cup and sweets have been placed for him.
"I haven't seen you in far too long. How have you been?" she asks, her voice light and cheerful, like it always is when talking to Jung.
"Very good. Very busy with all the ceremonies surrounding his Majesty's crowning, and him inspecting his armies, but things are settling down a bit." Jung's voice, the queen notes, has the strong, clear tone of someone used to speaking his mind and having people listen. As expected of an officer promised to an even brighter future.
"I imagine. What did that entail, exactly?"
"Making sure that all my men's uniforms were presentable, that their weapons were sharpened… We made demonstrations of our fighting techniques and manoeuvres for the King and had to rehearse those, too. His Majesty already knew them, of course, but it is the custom."
"Of course," the queen answers, her smile sweet as honey. "I hear you made the King proud."
Jung gives her his toothiest grin, puffs his chest and beams at her, remembering the moment, and the queen smiles at her son's enthusiasm.
"Apparently. His Majesty was… very generous with his compliments."
"It is only fair. Your talents should be recognized. Besides, the real work starts now, doesn't it?"
"Yes. We'll have to see what kind of King his Majesty wants to be. Our father always kept his armies busy near the border."
Jung has emptied his cup of tea, so Queen Yoo refills it before answering. "His Majesty needs to surround himself with the right people, if he wants to succeed. Strong people who keep their goals in mind and stop at nothing to reach them."
She pushes the plate of sweets towards her son, encouraging him to try them. She had his favourite made, the small red bean ones he used to devour as a child. He used to eat them so fast that they left a dusting of white rice flour around his mouth, nose, and cheeks, much to the Queen's maids and attendants' delight. Jung still shoves them heartily in his mouth, but he is no child, not anymore.
"I trust the King's judgement," he says around a mouthful.
"No, it is your responsibility to ensure that he chooses right. King Hyejong is too soft, he needs powerful allies to make up for it, people who won't be afraid to make decisions when he hesitates." She sees Jung stop chewing, startled as he is to hear her openly criticize the King. Queen Yoo is no fool – after Yo's failed coup, she knows that she is being watched, that guards follow her and report her every move, all courtesy of So. But she isn't worried: the wolf prince may know that she worked with Yo and that she was behind the poisoning attempt on Mu, he has no proof. He must hope to find something, having her followed, but she is confident that she can outsmart and outwit him, and secure her position again. She smiles reassuringly at her son, makes herself look as innocent as she can.
"Someone like you, Jung," she concludes.
He swallows loudly. "Me? But… what do you mean? How?"
She takes her fan out of her sleeve and opens it in a disinterested way, as if she hadn't brought up the subject herself. "Make yourself useful. The King already has you in high esteem, make sure he keeps noticing you and you'll go up the ranks in no time."
"If I go up the ranks, it will be because I've earned it. What you're saying sounds like little more than begging."
"It is you getting what you deserve, Jung." She enunciates clearly, slowly, as if he were still a child after all and she was trying to explain something for the fifth time. "I only want what's best for you, and to make sure you get your due."
"Isn't it a bit early for that?" Jung sounds unsure. Tempted, the queen knows well that his goal is to earn the rank of general, but unsure. If it happens quickly, Jung could be the youngest general Goryeo has ever seen, and he does like the sound of it, but… He'd still rather do it the right way.
"Oh, it won't happen overnight, of course. But make yourself useful, make yourself indispensable and become Hyejong's right arm, and you will be rewarded accordingly, before you know it. Who knows, maybe you'll even get more than what you're thinking."
"More?"
"You could even be made Crown Prince! It would be a very smart move on Hyejong's part. He may have named his son Je, the prince is still very young. He needs someone more… believable, if he wants to strengthen his position."
"You want me to… to… Are you serious, Mother?"
She takes in Jung's stunned expression and shock, his trying to come up with a proper answer… and backs down. For now.
"I'm joking of course!" she says, waving her fan prettily. "It is much too early to discuss any of these considerations. Just focus on doing your job, my son, the rest will follow naturally. Here, have more cakes." She passes him her uneaten ones and Jung mechanically brings one to his mouth, only answering with a nervous laugh. Still, he seems to buy her act and visibly relaxes as he chews.
"You had me worried here," he tells her with a proper smile when he has swallowed.
The queen relents and changes the topic back to more neutral matters – details on the manoeuvres rehearsed for the King, the day-to-day life in the army, the rigorous training Jung submits himself to. Her apparent setback doesn't worry her in the slightest. In fact, it is not a setback at all. It is all a means to an end, to ensure her position and that of her family. That Jung may be better suited to the life of a general than to the confinement of the Court is not relevant – with her to guide him, even he would make an excellent king. She only has to play her cards correctly, and her son's unquestioned trust in her will be her greatest ally. She has led the conversation exactly how she wanted to, and now, the seed has been planted. If she takes proper care of it, a comment here, a remark there… it will grow.
