Guilty

Sesshy's Mistress

Summary: He was the Boy Who Lived - the Chosen One. He gave everything to defeat Lord Voldemort. He deserves a Happy Ending with the one girl he never could forget, no matter how hard he tried.

Notes: I have no clue where this came from. I was cooking spaghetti one minute and typing the next, haha!

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If anyone asked, he couldn't tell them why or when. Love was like that. Sometimes you know instantaneously, and other times it sneaks up on you from behind. It stalks you until it is too late and it will never let go. That was where Harry found himself. It all started during his second year at Hogwarts.

Snape had kept him after class and Harry was in a mad dash to catch up with Ron and Hermione for the next one. It was when he was running around a sharp turn that it happened. All he could remember was a flash of blonde as he collided straight into another student. Limbs tangled and unpacked books and parchment soared through the air as the two bodies flew backwards to land rather painfully on the ground.

"Ow!" A soft voice mumbled from under Harry and it was then he realized he had practically ran over a female student. Blinking his green eyes open, Harry looked down to find a startling pair of wide, blue eyes struggling to focus as a pale hand reached to rub a growing lump on the back of her head.

Harry blushed at the feel of her soft body pressed under his and he quickly scrambled to get up. Unfortunately he was entangled not just in her limbs, but her very long and silky hair.

"Careful," the young girl groaned as he pulled on one of her pigtails. "Give me a minute and I can help." She first untangled her other arm from him and used both hands to part the sea of hair that had enveloped the two. Now free of constraints, Harry made quick work to stand and assist the other student to her feet.

He was surprised to find she was a head shorter than him.

"Sorry about that," Harry continued to blush. "I'm Harry, Harry Potter."

"Nice to meet you," The blonde smiled and took his offered hand. "My name is Tsukino Usagi! My friends call me Usa-chan!" Her embarrassment faded quickly at the prospect of making a new friend and Harry couldn't help but be amazed at her bubbly personality. "And don't worry about it. I'm usually the one mowing other people over." She giggled behind her hand.

Harry couldn't help but blush and before he could say another word, a familiar voice came echoing down the hall. "Usagi!" In fact, it was two familiar voices: Fred and George Weasley.

The girl, Usagi, grinned and snuck a glance around Harry at the two approaching figures. "Fred! George!" Her face transformed again from bubbly to excited as the twins made their way towards them. "I was on my way but got side tracked." She blushed and then realized not only had the two of them collided, but her books and parchments still littered the floor. Harry, having realized this too, scrambled to help her collect their belongings.

"Cute but clumsy," Fred teased as he kneeled next to Usagi to help her pick up the last few pieces of parchment scattered near her. Usagi blushed red all the way to the tips of her ears. Rolling her eyes, she playfully swatted his shoulder. "Be nice, Fred."

"I'm Fred!" George stated while pouting with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No you're not," Usagi stated matter-of-factly while standing and searching through the parchments to ensure she didn't accidentally take Harry's. He was doing the same but poorly as he was too busy watching the exchange.

"How can you tell them apart?" Harry asked and when those blue eyes returned to him, another faint blush dusted his cheeks.

"They may look and act the same," Usagi stated after a moment's pause to think and wet her chapped lips. "But they shine differently." Was all she said. Harry was confused and looked to Fred and George, both of whom grinned and shrugged.

"That's Usagi for you," Fred laughed while throwing and arm over Usagi's shoulders. "Come on or you'll be late for class."

"Oh crap!" Usagi gasped and quickly dashed up the hallway, the three boys forgotten.

"You better hurry, too, Harry," George offered while handing off a couple pieces of parchment he managed to retrieve. Harry nodded as he took the parchment from George but it took him a couple minutes to begin his journey to his next class. He just couldn't get her blue eyes out of his mind.

From then on out he couldn't help but notice her - Usagi Tsukino. She was like a beacon shining brightly for all to see. She was a Hufflepuff and spent most of her time with another, very familiar blonde known as Minako Aino. The two looked like twins and often spent time outside of class with a pair of red headed twins.

She was a year ahead of him and after meeting her, Harry realized they couldn't stop running into each other. Eventually Minako and Usagi became friends with him, Ron, and Hermione. Not quite as close as they were to the twins, but close enough that Usagi and Minako would sit with them at times during dinner.

The two were even invited to the Quidditch World Cup with the rest of the Weasleys. Maybe then it should have clicked, but it didn't. Harry continued to grow closer to Usagi who was always so open and friendly. She wore her heart on her sleeve and always did her best to make everyone happy. She even tried to help Malfoy once, and it nearly got her cursed.

When time came for the Yule Ball, Harry knew who he wanted to invite. Working up the nerves for it was another matter. The opportunity arose several times, but he just couldn't get the words out of his mouth. It always left him a mumbling, blubbering mess with each try.

"So who are you going to take, Harry?" Ron asked him one night as they sat up late watching the fireplace. Harry felt his face burning and hoped Ron would blame it on the fire.

"Usagi," Harry mumbled as he stared down at his wand.

"Oh…" Ron's eyes were suddenly anywhere but at Harry and the change in his posture alerted Harry.

"Why?" His green eyes bore into his best friend.

"I just assumed you knew," Ron shrugged and tried to figure out a way to say what needed to be said without hurting his best friend.

"Knew what?" Harry prodded further.

"She's going with Fred," Ron finally admitted after a good couple minutes of twitching under Harry's questioning and increasingly annoyed gaze. "Fred's been after her for a while and they just made it official over the summer."

Pain shot through Harry's chest and a burning sensation worked its way through his body. It hurt but there was this other feeling…. It wasn't anger but it was close. Jealousy! Harry felt jealous and betrayed. That was a startling realization for him and it was then that he realized just how hard he fell for Usagi.

"George is taking Minako," Ron quickly added while struggling to pronounce her name properly. That happened when Ron was flustered and it also occurred when trying to pronounce Usagi's name properly. "They've been going at it since the end of first year. They'll deny it but it was obvious. Even Mum figured it out after a while."

Harry tuned him out after that and after a while excused himself. He needed some time alone and Ron let him have it. After a few days he felt better but that was when he started to see the signs. The way the twins would sandwich the girls between them; George next to Minako and Fred next to Usagi. How Fred would go out of his way to make her blush and would sometimes whisper jokes into her ear. How Usagi would unconsciously lean towards Fred when they sat together or walked the halls together.

Then came the hand holding but that was as far as Usagi would allow in public at times. Fred gave her his scarf and she wore it daily. Once Harry even caught Fred teaching Usagi some of his Quidditch moves.

Every time he felt a sharp stab in his chest followed by a burning sensation that seemed to envelope him and leave a bad taste in his mouth. Shouldn't he be happy for his friend? Harry wanted to be but he also wanted to be with Usagi. Harry was torn.

Flash forward to the Yule Ball and Harry had never seen someone so beautiful. A strapless white dress of multiple layers with gold lining the bust. Translucent cap sleeves wrapped around her arms, and a bow was at her back. Pearls dotted her ears, neck, and hair clips. She looked like a Princess.

Needless to say, his date didn't approve of his staring.

Harry always knew Usagi was special and maybe that was one reason he fell so hard for her and in love with her. Some would even call it an obsession but no one would say it to his face. Thankfully Usagi was blind to it and whether Fred knew or chose to ignore it was on everyone's mind, even Harry's.

When Umbridge came along and Harry began teaching a defense class, it was then that Usagi proved not only to him but others that she was special. Everyone assumed her Patronus would be a rabbit. After all, that was her namesake. While Usagi struggled with Potions and was treated much in the same manner as Harry in regards to Snape and the Slytherins, she excelled at Care of Magical Creatures, Astronomy, and Transfiguration. Charms was not her strongest suit, but when it came to summoning her Patronus, even Harry was amazed.

She managed in the first try and hers was a winged Unicorn. Harry had never seen such a thing before in his life as this patronus. Usagi nearly fainted from all the attention she garnered that night from the others. Harry felt proud of her and felt the urge to go to her. Fred beat him to it. He scooped her up and spun her in the air causing them both to laugh together in their excitement.

Harry's hand clenched around his wand and his mouth dropped when Fred placed a firm kiss to her lips once she was on her own two feet. George and a few other men cat called. Ron gave Harry an understanding look and tried to reach out towards his friend, but Harry turned away. He didn't need nor want his pity.

Harry wasn't the only one affected by her and neither was Fred. It seemed that Usagi had a special touch when it came to magical creatures. Unicorns, Hippogriffs, and even the acromantulas were drawn to her. Ron had even let slip that in the presence of dragons during the Triwizard tournament, Usagi, though nervous, was not afraid. The dragons reacted to her as well, becoming less aggressive towards her but still willing to take a bite out of any others that dared draw too close.

Then there was the time everyone transformed into him via polyjuice potion to help him escape from his Aunt and Uncle's home. Usagi and Minako had no need for Polyjuice and were instead able to fully transfigure wandlessly into an exact replica of him. It stunned everyone save for Fred and George.

Then it happened. The Battle of Hogwarts and Fred's death. Harry could still picture it if he closed his eyes tight enough. Pure chaos surrounded them. Percy and Fred fought side by side. Usagi and Minajo had been caught in the chaos, too. While Fred had tried to stay close to his girlfriend, his brother Percy needed him and the two were split up.

Then there was an explosion followed by screaming. Percy was on his knees at his brother's side as the battle continued around him. It wasn't until at the end of the battle, when Fred's body was moved to the Great Hall that family and friends mourned. Minako and Usagi were late to enter as they both had sustained wounds that needed tending. As soon as Usagi entered, her face paled and a heart wrenching scream tore from her. Minako was the only thing holding her back, and Harry moved quickly to help restrain her.

The Weasley family was surrounding their fallen member and they needed a few moments longer. Harry pulled Usagi to his chest and allowed her to slam her small fists against him. Minako hadn't the strength to hold her back with her injuries and was thankful for the aid. She too floated hesitantly just a few feet from the group of Weasleys. She wanted to go and comfort George.

"It'll be okay," Harry whispered into Usagi's hair even as she denied his claims. He held her tighter as his green eyes caught sight of a flash of Fred's face. Sadness and guilt ate at him. His friend was gone, fighting for him for the freedom of the wizarding world from Voldemort.

Harry swore that he wouldn't let anyone else die for him or because of him, especially not Usagi. He didn't know how wrong he was….

In the end, many of those he loved had lost their lives to ensure Voldemort's defeat. Usagi was not one of those and Harry found some solace in that fact alone. It was what anchored him and kept him sane. She was a shining light that chased away the guilt that ate at him. Usagi didn't even know just how important she was to him.

Even after the defeat of Voldemort, Harry couldn't find the right time or courage to approach. After all, her and Fred had been in a relationship for a long while. It had been serious and some even thought a wedding in the future had things turned out differently.

Usagi changed, too. She didn't shine as bright especially when George and Minako were around. Harry saw it. She hurt. While happy for her friend, it hurt when Minako and George were engaged. That flash of jealousy was hard to spot, but Harry had seen it in his own eyes many another time. It would be two years after Fred's death when Minako and George tied the knot.

Serenity was Maid of Honor and Ron was Best Man. Harry was a groomsman and the night of George and Minako's wedding, Harry summoned the courage to ask Usagi to dance. She accepted and Harry felt his chest grow lighter. It was a step in the right direction. They talked during their dance and afterwards at one of the tables over some expensive wine.

Usagi couldn't hold her alcohol and Harry didn't feel at all guilty for taking advantage of that fact. As the party progressed, the two took a stroll outside and it was then that the flood gates opened and Usagi released all the anger, regret, and heartache from losing Fred. This is where the two found comfort in one another. Both had experienced loss and Harry could relate to her. It was after this day that Usagi and Harry started to meet up. At first it was to comfort one another through grief of losing friends and loved ones.

Harry took every opportunity to spend time with her. It would take a couple years but he was patient and knew she needed time. Eventually on one of their sessions, he asked her to dinner and she agreed. Harry was excited but knew that with Usagi, she probably didn't realize the context of his invite.

Dinner was delightful and Harry made sure a fine bottle of wine was present to help loosen her up as he finally felt ready to approach a very sensitive subject. Harry confessed but Usagi seemed blind sided. Her hand went slack and the glass fell to the floor, shattering and staining the pristine white carpet a dark maroon color.

"Harry I-..." She struggled to respond.

"I can't pretend you don't matter to me anymore," Harry answered while reaching out for her hands. "This is something I've struggled with since Hogwarts." He felt her flinch but didn't let go. "I love you and all I ask is for you to give me a chance to earn yours."

"I don't know if I can," She whispered brokenly.

"He wouldn't want you to live like this," Harry stated and later regretted saying it so soon. "You're losing your shine."

She retracted as if he had cursed her. After all, Fred would always call her his shining star. She opened her mouth to respond but was unable as Harry had left her speechless. Yet, that wound that had never fully healed seemed to open anew. Before Harry could stop her, she disappeared with a resounding pop.

Time and space were what she needed but he was hard pressed to give it to her. It was through Minako that he kept updated on her and why she eventually agreed to try and move on with him. It was kept casual at first and far longer than Harry would have liked. She needed time and he was patient. After three years they were serious and Harry bought a ring. It would be another year before he proposed and she said yes. Within six months they were married with Minako as Maid of Honor and Ron as Best Man. Ron and Hermione followed the next year and were wed. Again Usagi was Maid of Honor and Harry was Best Man.

In the end he got the girl he always wanted. Harry wasn't blind nor stupid. He knew Usagi still reflected on her time with Fred and the feeling of jealousy would rise up each time. Harry never acted on it. She was his and while he still felt guilty over Fred's death and never would have wished it on him or any other. Harry couldn't help but see the circumstances as a gift. Had things not happened the way they did, Usagi would be married to Fred. She would be pregnant with Fred's child and not Harry's own.

The thought made his stomach churn and he quickly distracted himself by running his hands through her long locks of hair.

"Are you okay?" Usagi mumbled against his bare chest as she cuddled next to Harry.

"I'm fine," He promised while nuzzling the top of her head. "Just thinking…"

"About what?" She questioned while fighting not to doze off again.

"How lucky I am to have you," Harry answered honestly just as she lost her battle and fell back into slumber.


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Dun Dun Dun! I know a little OOC for Harry but I wanted to show another side of him. After all, he had a connection to you know who and that had to impact him in some ways, right?

This is a one shot only! Please review and leave your thoughts! Thanks!

Sesshy's Mistress