Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh
AN: This is a redo of my old story, 'snowstorm' which I have now deleted because it was written so poorly. This one has better grammar, and I have changed a few things. The other two chapters will be up very shortly, within the next couple of hours, and possibly a fourth one after I finish re-writing those two. This chapter is mostly dialogue, I'll try to make the other chapters a bit 'flashier.' Enjoy, and I hope I manage to make some people laugh.
Bakura and Honda sheltered in a rather convenient cave from the vicious snowstorm that they had somehow managed to get lost in, together.
"I say, Honda, it sure is a good thing we found this cave to shelter in. I sure do hope it doesn't snow too much and trap us in this icy tomb until spring." Ryou commented.
"Stop being so morbid Bakura. Someone is going to find us." Honda snapped, sitting on the icy floor of the cave.
Ryou joined him "Oh I'm not worried about that, I'm just worried about how much torture the author is going to put me through before I get out of here..."
"Before WE get out of here... and what author? We're not in a book," Honda raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.
"No, we're in a fanfic. Hopefully not a depressingly bad one where I act like some kind of gay emo kid..." Ryou frowned "Oh no..."
"You're talking crazy-talk Bakura. 'Oh no' what?"
"I just realised that maybe I'm trapped here with you because," he lowered his voice to a whisper, "the author wants to ship us."
"...Ship...us? What the HELL does that mean?!" Honda wasn't familiar with the term, but he was sure it was something disgusting.
"Never mind. We'll find out soon enough. I hate the author and her crazy plot devices. She doesn't even finish half of them, she just leaves them right in the middle of everything, usually with me screaming in agony, and the happy ending never comes. Where's my happy ending, Honda?! Where is it?!" He grabbed Honda by the shoulders and shook him.
"Who is this author you keep ranting about?"
"I'm ranting?" He let Honda go. "Oh my, that's terribly out of character, she must be struggling with my frustratingly polite personality. But anyway, call her god if you will."
"So... The author is god... and we are in a fanfic... which is actually our lives." He tilted his head to the side, as if the position would help him think better.
"Correct."
"That's interesting." He tilted his head a little further.
"Some thing's wrong!" Ryou began to fret.
Honda gave up on trying to think and returned his head to a less painful position. "What now?"
"Notice how incredibly cold it is, yet neither of us is shivering. Do you think she's going to give us hypothermia, and its started to set in already. Not shivering is a bad sign I'm pretty sure."
"Well I feel fine. Maybe we should sleep until the storm blows over. I'm tired." More specifically, he was tired of listening to Ryou's babbling.
"You can't sleep, Honda, that's when she'll kill you!" He grabbed Honda by the shoulders and shook him again, his expression one of sheer terror.
"You're starting to freak me out, Bakura!" He was beginning to get a little panicked himself.
"Come on! Anyone who dies of hypothermia always goes to sleep and THEN dies. It always happens like this in fanfics!"
"Doesn't it happen like that in real life as well?"
"How should I know. I don't exist in 'real life.' I only exist in manga, anime, fanfics, fanart, fancomics, cosplayers, doujinshi..." He went on listing the things in which he existed.
"This IS real life Bakura. Snap out of it!" He slapped Ryou across the face for good measure.
"Listen to me! This fic doesn't even make any sense! I don't even remember how I got here or why I even went out in the snow in the first place... and why is there a sign over there that says 'Nowhere city centre.' we're not even in a city! We're in the middle of no- oh... Is that supposed to be a joke?"
"Now that you mention it, I don't have any memory of how I came to be in this cave." His brow furrowed slightly.
"See, Honda. See!"
A wolf entered the cave and growled at the two.
"Oh my, it looks like our imminent death has arrived. It's very believable, too. I'm sure lots of people get killed by wolves." Ryou said sarcastically.
The wolf pulled out a dueling deck and spoke to them. "I'm going to challenge you to a duel, and if I win, I am going to eat you."
"Gee... The jokes in this fic are really bad. Sure we use card games to solve everything, but... is this for real?!" Bakura mocked the author's humour, which probably wasn't the best idea in the world.
"Hey, I dont even play duel monsters" Honda stated.
"I think that means you lose by default, Honda." Bakura replied.
The wolf pounced on Honda, ripping through his jacket with his teeth and sinking his fangs into flesh. Honda tried to fight the animal off but it was too big and strong. "Help me Bakura! Ah! Damn, it hurts!" The wolf continued to viciously maul Honda.
"Now that the wolf is distracted I should figure out how to get out of here..." Bakura watched the scene before him indifferently, and rubbed his chin with one hand, thinking.
Then, a disembodied, female voice spoke to him. "Bakura-kun, look outside, you're not far from Domino City"
"Hey, who are you? I already have multiple personalities, don't tell me I'm schizophrenic as well." Ryou walked out of the cave. The voice was right. The snowstorm had stopped, and he could see the city. "But I thought we were in the middle of-"
"I am the author, I don't have to make sense."
Ryou gave a wry frown, and began to walk back toward the city. "I don't think there are any wild wolves in Japan, either."
"Shut up." The disembodied voice snapped.
Meanwhile, the wolf was feeding on Honda's dead body.
