Cold rain pours from the heavens so fast and so powerfully that the drops are nothing but persistent blurs in the air. As I run, my boots splash in the puddles that cover the ground and I feel the water soak through the leather to my feet. The clouds hang low in the sky, black and grey and threatening. Thunder roars overhead.
Wind whips my blonde plait into my face. Loose strands of hair have been plastered to my face. I am drenched. Raindrops run down my face, getting caught on my eyelashes, falling from the end of my nose and dripping off of my chin. Water trickles down my neck and into the inside of my jacket. My clothes are stuck to my body, soaking wet.
My breathing is uneven. I don't know whether it is rain or tears that run from my eyes. My legs ache. My head is pounding with every heartbeat. My chest is in agony, my lungs contracting every time I breathe in. My sight is blurred. I can't see. I'm running on muddy grass now, every step squelching and slipping.
I open my mouth, and a noise erupts from my throat, broken and croaking, and completely hopeless.
"REMUS!" I scream. My foot slips from under me. I land in the mud so suddenly that it knocks the breath out of me. Gasping, agonised and close to giving up, I lie there. Thunder roaring, lightning flashing, rain pouring around me. There's no point anymore. He'll never believe me, he'll never forgive me. He knows and nothing can take the knowledge of what I did from his mind. I've scarred his soul, and I know him well enough to know that this scar is not temporary.
I sob his name over and over again. Perhaps if I say it enough, he'll appear. He'll come back and give me a chance. A chance to explain. A chance to hear me out.
But I know that deep down, he'll never come back. He'll never listen to me and he will never, ever forgive me.
And I don't deserve his forgiveness.
