Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal alchemist or McDonalds

Big Mac Alchemist

Wanna know why I no longer eat at McDonalds? Well it all started this one time at band camp…

We were on a bus; our destination was some one-horse town, where we'd be putting on a performance for a bunch of old people with no lives. After five hours of being on a cramped bus, some of the younger kids started to complain that they were hungry; so we stopped at the first fast food place we came to. I normally wouldn't go inside, but since I hadn't eaten yet, I had no choice. About an hour later I ordered my food, when I went back out to get on the bus, it was gone.

"This is bad…" I sighed. That's when I saw him, my favorite golden-eyed ochibi-san and his younger brother. Yes, Edward Elric was sitting on a bench at McDonalds and Alphonse was in the ball pit. I decided to go over and ask them why they were there.

"May I sit here?" I asked the elder brother.

"Sure," he said, "nice day isn't it?"

"Yeah but it's hotter than hell, that's the weird thing about New England, our winters are extremely cold and our summers are really hot like this."

He smiled, "You've got a good point there, so, what's your name?"

"My friends call me Haru."

"It's nice to meet you."

"So what brings you to a place like this?"

"We're experimenting," replied Alphonse.

"With what exactly?" I asked

"We're going to find out what's a Big Mac" replied Ed.

He then clapped his hands together and then tapped the big mac; this is what we found inside the sandwich…

- Carpet Lint

- Green Confetti

- Pencil shavings

- Plastic Cheese

- Water based paints

- Two sesame seed buns

I dare not say what's in the "secret sauce"

Ed's Moral of the story

"McDonalds is bad for your health."