Dwight and Caroline's First Night
I took a deep breath and looked up at him. I could feel the slight hesitancy in my eyes when I asked 'Where is your room?'
Dwight stood up and immediately my heart began to beat, hating myself for saying it. What must he think of me? I questioned.
But then his hand came out to me as I wrapped my fingers round his. My heart started beating again but for a very different reason. He smiled reassuringly as he brought me up to his level and kissed my forehead.
'Come with me' he said.
We climbed the stairs together. I wondered what all these men must think. I wondered if any of them knew me but I couldn't care not then. These may be the last moments I have with this man and I was determined to make the most of them. Scandal and virtue be dammed!
We reached his door and for a moment I questioned myself. Was I really about to break all the rules? Yes I was and right now I wouldn't allow myself to care. I needed to be with him and this might be our last chance.
As we entered Dwight bolted the door behind us. He raised my hand to his mouth and kissed it. He looked me in the eyes and said 'I would be content to lie next to you all night, if that is what you want?'
I bit down on my bottom lip before meeting his gaze. ' I do not claim to know much about this. Some may look at me or speak to me and think I am a woman of the world. I often speak in a manner which makes it seem as if I am wise to the ways of the say I am one to avoid. An heiress who has become to wild to tame but I tell you this I am just as nervous as any maid. But nerves do not mean I am uncertain because I am certain that I love you. If you did not have to go away I would marry you and do this the right way. But you do have to go away so I'm saying yes because I'm more afraid of saying no than saying yes because if I say no I may never get the chance to say yes again.'
I pause for breath realising I may have been to raw. I can't stand the silence so I lean up to kiss him. If my words did not convince him maybe my actions would.
Then he kisses me back pulling me close to him so our bodies touch each other more intimately than they ever had before. This goes on for minutes before we both pause for breath.
'What now?' I say curiously as we both settle or heaving breaths.
His thumb sweeps across my cheek down to my lips. 'Turn around?' He says gently. I turn around slowly so my back is facing him. I feel the bows on my dress being untied. I can feel his heavy breath on my ear as the process continues slowly. When the dress is all undone he pulls the fabric from my shoulders leaving me in my corset. The dress is pooled around my feet and I step out of it. Then Dwight starts on the corset strings plucking them like violin strings. Its not long and the corset is gone. I am left just in my shift as Dwight kissed my exposed shoulder and turns me around. I feel as if we are going both too slow and too fast it is agonising.
I am now facing him again. I wait a moment unsure what is next. Dwight runs his hands up and down my bare arms and I take the initiative. Reaching up I take off his jacket. Then I hesitantly reach for the buttons of his waistcoat. Undoing each one slowly. I stop there for a moment and Dwight kisses me softly once again. It feels like a kiss of reassurance. One which is asking for me to go on. I look once again into his eyes as I reach up to remove his shirt.
Its off. His shirt was off and his bare chest revealed. It forces me to take a deep intake of breath. ' Can I...Can I...' I ask.
'Yes, please do.' he replies. My inexperienced fingers trail the lines of his chest, his stomach, his shoulders. For a moment I remember that this could be both the first and the last time I do this but I stopped those thoughts. I just couldn't think of that. Not now.
Then he is kissing me again, passionately. I can feel him through his trousers and I am overcome by a brief moment of panic that stops our kiss.
'What? What is it?' he says concerned
'Nothing, its fine.' I reply.
'Its okay. We can take our time. We have till morning' he comforts.
I smile. ' Thanks but I don't think I can wait that long.' I say cheekily.
I see his eyes light up and he kisses me softly again. He places me softly down on the bed as he continues kissing above me. I feel his hand at the hem of shift as he gently circles my skin there. He lifts it up a couple of inches revealing a little more skin then he breaks the kiss and looks at me. I smile at him and he pulls it up over my head. I felt exposed lying there naked below him. His eyes on me. I crossed my legs a little to cover my modesty. I can hear his breathing halt.
'My god, you are beautiful.' he says.
'Dwight' I croak
'Yes' he says seemingly concerned.
' Can you emmmm... can you take off yours too' I ask
' Of course if that is what you want.'
I smile appreciating his understanding.
'Come here.' He says as he drags me up to a sitting position. He gently takes my hand and places them at the to of his trousers. 'You can if you want?' he says.
I nod and take a deep breath. I unbutton his trousers and soon we were both naked together. We lie back down, him on top of me as we continue kissing. His hand creeps down between my legs and I jump. Alarmed I say ' What are you doing?'
'It will help. I will make it easier.' He confirms.
I relax as he prepares me and before long I knew it was time.
He was above me preparing to enter my arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. ' I love you.' I say. ' I love you too. When I get home, I promise to marry you.' he says in return.
'Just hold tight, okay?'
Then he enters. It hurts a little but I focus on our closeness, his smell and his sounds. I try to engrave these in my memory. When its over we embrace. No words are spoken. Words had no worth at this stage.
We spend the rest of the night making love and in each others arms. My head rests on his chest as I try to keep my eyes open. Then he gets up and says ' We must get dressed.'
We both change and then we are standing in the room where time stood still. I had never allowed myself to believe the night would end until now.
I have tears in my eyes now as I look into his eyes possibly for the last time. ' And now no doubt you have to leave me?'
'And now no doubt I have to leave you' he replies. He leaves a brief kiss on my forehead as a solitary tear falls down my cheek.
Then he walks out the door. I am left in the room on my own. It is so quiet I could almost believe I had made the whole night up but I hadn't which only made it worse.
